7's featured Music!

This last week and a half has been really stressful for my husband and I. Without getting into the details here, as it deserves it's own post cause there's just too much craziness, but it's just been very stressful and uncertain for us the last 10 days. And in these times I find myself worrying and praying a million times more than I do on a normal day. We've been toying with the idea of moving south, and have even done some research into it, but at this point it might be a reality closer to now than we had anticipated. So there's a lot of stress surrounding our home right now.
In these times of stress I look up and just BEG for direction. PLEASE, Lord, just tell me what to do. Which direction to go... stay and fight, or pack up and leave. Where do you want my family, God?

And even though I don't get a direct answer, I always remember that no matter what we do, no matter where we go, God will always take care of us. He always has. We've been beyond broke at eating macaroni and cheese for dinner a couple of times a week, but we've always HAD that food. We've always had a roof over our head, we've always had a vehicle. We've always made it through.
So I just try to remember, no matter how stressful life is right now, and how many decisions I need to make that are going to affect my whole family, and how foggy and unclear the future looks-

You Never Let Go
By Matt Redman

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

Your perfect love is casting out fear

And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life

I won't turn back, I know you are near

And I will fear no evil

For my God is with me

And if my God is with me

Whom then shall I fear?

Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, you never let go

Through the calm and through the storm

Oh no, you never let go

In every high and every low

Oh no, you never let go

Lord you never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on

A glorious light beyond all compare

And there will be an end to these troubles but until that day comes

We'll live to know you here on this earth
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, you never let go

Through the calm and through the storm

Oh no, you never let go

In every high and every low

Oh no, you never let go

Lord you never let go of me

You keep on lovin and you never let go

Oh no, you never let go

Through the calm and trough the storm

Oh no, you never let go

In every high and every low

Oh no, you never let go

Lord you never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on

And there will be an end to these troubles but until that day comes

Still I will praise you, still I will praise you

Gardening. Part 1: Composting.

As spring draws near, I get VERY excited about getting my gardens going. I have to be patient though, because even now, on May 15th (the last frost date for our Montana zone) it's pretty chilly outside. Not to mention our overnights, while not frosting, are very cold and windy. So, not safe for plants outside just yet.
I did buy a green house, and have had it indoors for the last couple of months. I made a previous post about it HERE.
It's been quite a learning experience trying to gestate and grow plants in it. I've lost a lot along the way, but I think I have a good idea now how to make it work for me. I could still use some more lighting in there, but for now, I've managed to keep my zucchini, a handful of bellpeppers, a bit of mesculin, and most of my potatoes alive, and that's a start.

In the mean time, I have been actively composting, outdoors, for the last year. I'll be honest, I've not been as good at maintaining my bins as I need to be, but, like many other things I'm attempting to do better in my life, this is one of them. I'm very tired of wasting time and money on stuff because I am not giving MY 100% at making them work.

You see, I'm from Kentucky. And when I started gardening out there, we lived on a plot of land that had once been a cow farm. Therefore the soil was already rich with nutrients, and I didn't need to do much to it to produce awesome vegetables.

Up here in Montana, this dirt is just that. DIRT. Nutrient non-existent, thick packed, hard pressed DIRT.  I'm surprised there's even worms IN my garden.

So last year I started composting outside. I had composted before, but we moved twice, so I had taken a break from it. So while my kitchen, yard, and garden scraps have been breaking down slowly, my "fix" for my veggies last year was to feed them with store bought organic liquid fertilizer. It helped, and I still have quite a bit of the fertilizer, but I would rather not have to spend the money to buy more when I run out.

So, this will be an ongoing series about my composting, and gardening. I will be updating regularly, as there are things to add, and then weekly as my gardens grow. And maybe there will be some things you can learn from my mistakes!

I've currently got my outdoor compost bins. Simple, plastic totes with holes drilled into them, for dumping organic waste, to allow it to naturally break down. These are great for out door waste, and large waste. I have 2 now, but will be adding a third to make it easier for me to tumble. You see, wormless compost has to be stirred up to help it break down better. I have been just transferring the compost back and forth from one bin to the other, but I've found I'm filling the bins up faster than the matter is breaking down, so I want a third one to have 2 full bins in rotation.

I've just purchased a hand made, stackable worm vermicomposter from a friend of mine! Yes, I could have saved some money by making it myself, but I just had a baby and already have so many projects going on that I knew it would just be too much of a burden on myself. So it was well worth it to pay someone else to do it for me.

The vermicomposter is made from pine, and coated in polyurethane to protect it from moisture.

Find the instructional how to HERE and build one yourself!

I have done some reading and found that I'm going to need to add a third tier to the bottom of this stacking set to collect the 'compost tea' that will puddle at the bottom. It's going to need to be able to hold water, but strong enough to hold the weight of the two trays above it. So I'm thinking about making a frame that's the same size of the trays, and using fiberglass and caulk to make a sort of 'tank' for the collection. This compost tea will become an awesome liquid fertilizer for my plants as they grow!!

The more I read, the more things I find I want to help make my garden actually WORK.
So I'm going to build a "Worm Inn", and a "Worm Tower".
As I get those projects going, probably the weekend of the 21st (after payday!) I'll post about them!

Iced Mocha Please!

Never in my life have I ever drank a coffee any more involved than brewing up some grounds and adding cream and sugar. I have tried a few different flavors of liquid creamer, but my staple is plain powdered creamer.
That is, until recently.
McDonalds started selling their iced coffees a while back, and I never could imagine drinking a coffee with ice in it. I mean, once the coffee gets cold it's gross! So how would iced coffee be any better?
Finally hubby got me to try one. I can't remember what it was, but I was really surprised at how yummy it was! I eventually tried both an iced mocha and an iced latte. I couldn't tell you what the difference is, or which is which when put side by side. But they both taste good :)

I decided today that I wanted an iced mocha. But I didn't want to pack all 5 kids up just to drive 10 blocks to MickyD's and spend over $3 on a drink. Save the time, gas, and the cost of the drink itself, and I don't have to hear the whining and crying when they find out I wasn't getting THEM anything!

So I googled. :) And found http://www.ehow.com/how_7315679_make-iced-mocha-coffee.html LINK
It's actually easier than I thought it would be to make, and easier to actually make than it reads.
Here's the rundown:

1 1/2 cup strong coffee

3 Tbsp light brown sugar

1 1/2 Tbsp chocolate syrup

1 cup milk

1/4 Tsp vanilla

  Materials used were-
Measuring Cup

Magic Bullet with large cup and 2 blade cap (I'm sure the 1 blade cap would have worked fine, I just didn't feel like looking for it)

measuring spoons

small scraper

and a mixing bowl with a pour spout

I measured out 1 1/2 cups coffee and poured in the Magic Bullet.

 

Added 3 Tablespoons light brown sugar

and blended til the sugar was dissolved

 

A little helper is always nice to have :)

Then the 1 1/2 Tablespoons of chocolate syrup was added.

and blended again

The recipe says to let it cool down, then put it in the fridge to cool down more, but I figure, they don't bother with all that mess at McDonalds, so why should I? So I grabbed a few ice cubes and dropped them in.

I measured out 1 cup of milk.

We use 2% in our house.

and 1/4 teaspoon imitation vanilla extract









and mixed those two ingredients together in my mixing bowl with a pour spout.... my melted mixing bowl with a pour spout LOL.
Here's your reminder from me to be careful how close you put your plastic mixing bowls to the stove when you have a gas stove. :)








Then poured the coffee mixture from the Magic Bullet into the bowl as well.



 Stirred together.........

Then filled a glass with ice and enjoyed!!

I gotta say, even without the whipped cream on top, this was AWESOME.

The second batch I made I knocked the brown sugar down to 2 Tbsp because the 3 was pretty darn sweet, and 2 was perfect for me.

I poured all my excess into a pitcher and put in the fridge, and this morning I enjoyed the rest of it :)

Never will I pay $3.29 for an iced mocha again!

4 years ago- the birth and survival of Nicholas Eugene

Due to me still trying to get a routine going with Rebecca, and the emotional toll this post has on me, and Blogger being SUPER LAME, it's taken me several days to get this all out and posted.

Happy Birthday to my little man, Nicky. He turned 4 Friday, April 29th.

Much of his pregnancy and delivery are blurry for several reasons.

Firstly, I'm bipolar. I was not diagnosed until my second trimester with Nicky. I just knew something wasn't right inside my head. It's not normal to lay awake at night thinking about killing yourself for the betterment of your family. The feelings always got worse during the previous 2 pregnancies, but this time was like the Hiroshima of mental illness explosions. So I sought help. It was during that time I learned a lot about my illness, including the fact that it was normal for my illness to get worse during pregnancy because of hormone and other chemical changes in my brain and body. There was also outside stimuli this time around that weren't present during the other pregnancies that really shot my brain into the Twilight Zone.

None of that has anything to do with his actual birth, but I'm comfortable with sharing it now anyway.

April 29, 2007 was a Saturday. Hubby was working 2 jobs, and his second one kept him busy every other Saturday for a full shift of work. This happened to be one of his working Saturdays. Nicky wasn't due until May 12th, so we really hadn't made any plans to prepare for getting me to the hospital. Plus, the two children before Nicky were induced, so we most likely figured that would happen again.

We figured wrong.

A contraction woke me up around 10AM. My 2 older ones were 2 and 4, and I wasn't working, so our normal sleep schedule didn't find us awake until 10:30 or later. Another 'perk' of being ill; lots and lots of sleep.



I got the 2 older kids up and fed them breakfast, feeling regular contractions the whole time. I called hubby and told him that I was contracting and would need to go to the hospital. He was still far from being done, and had to finish his deliveries before he could take the truck back to the office, then had to finish his paperwork, then he could leave. Because of where he was at in relation to the office, there was just no way for him to get to me right then.

So around noon I decided it would be better for me to drive the hour to the city, pick him up, and have him drive the other hour to the hospital, rather than sit there for an hour for him to got done working, then an hour for him to drive to me, then 2 more hours to drive to the hospital. So I packed the kids up in the car and hit the road, contractions and all.

I got to his office where he was working on his paperwork. I'll admit, I was annoyed that he felt the responsibility to finish his work instead of stopping and taking me to the hospital. I understood, but was in a lot of pain, so I just wanted him to be DONE.

Finally, around 2:15 he was done, and I called my on call OB to let her know we would be at the hospital in about an hour.

We hit the road and hubby went as fast as he could considering speed limit and traffic, and with every passing second I was wishing he would go even faster. I was literally climbing the door of that car with each contraction.... so close together, so strong.

My water broke in the car and I almost told hubby to pull over. But I didn't. We got to the hospital and I told him I would walk up and figure out where we needed to go while he got the kids out of the car. I got halfway between the car and the doors and had a contraction. There were 2 EMT's outside of their ambulance who raced over to me with a wheelchair and asked me what was wrong. "Baby coming" was about all I could get out, so they put me in the chair and rushed me to labor and delivery.

I got on the table and barely got my clothes off when I felt the need to push. There were 3 nurses attending to me, two had left the room and the one still there was in training. I told her the baby was coming, and she looked down at me and could see the top of the baby's head. She stepped away from me in order to yell out the open door at the other nurses to get in there. My body pushed again, and in one strong movement, Nicky came flying out of me and landed on the bed.

I don't remember much after that. I recall asking what the sex was, and one of the nurses told me it was a boy. So I attempted to holler at Scott, who was standing just outside the door with the other kids, that it was a boy. I also recall looking at an ugly floral picture on the wall on the left side of the bed and saw it was spattered with blood.

I remember seeing the nurses across the room with one of those big squeezy bag things that does CPR so you don't have to do mouth-to-mouth, using it on Nicky. I asked what was wrong with him, and was told he was having trouble breathing.

I kept coming in and out of consciousness, and do remember the on call OB finally showing up and attending to me while the nurses took care of the baby. And finally I couldn't fight it anymore, and I passed out.
I don't remember being moved into another room, but I do remember waking up there. I remember them bringing Nicky in an enclosed plastic incubator into the room so we could see him one time before they air flighted him to Kosair Children's Hospital. And I barely remember my regular OB coming in on Tuesday and having me sign some consent form.

It turned out Nicholas' right lung was deflated. They put a chest tube in right below his armpit, and he stayed in the NICU for 3 weeks, moved him to a recovery nursery for a week, and then we were able to take him home.

As for me, I hemorrhaged after he came out, and I wound up needing a 2 pint blood transfusion- which was what the consent form was for.

Other than a small scar on the side of his chest, you'd never know his entry into this world was so violent and scary.
Of all of my kids so far, he's my challenge. He's a joy to be with, and is definitely a TON of fun to play with, but he's also the most difficult to deal with. But I certainly can't imagine my life without him.

may 1, 2011 Happy Birthday, Daddy!

Happy Birthday, Daddy!
And for your birthday, this morning I woke at around 4:30AM for a diaper change and feeding, to find Becky's umbilical cord stump had fallen off! Last night when we were going to bed and I changed her, it was about 1/2 way unhooked. I guess the moving and rubbing of night time feeding, burping, and consoling had rubbed it off. It's her 6th day of life today, and by the looks of her belly button, I think it came off a little premature, but only by a day or so.
I'm glad because it will allow me to make these diapers that are a little bit too big work a little bit better!

Like all of my children, she's very aware of her daddy's voice. She's nice and alert anyway, looking at brighter areas and studying whatever she can see. But nothing can turn that girls' head like a word from her daddy's mouth.

I tease him and give him the ole "it's not fair" bit about how I carried her for 9 months and labored for 11 hours, only to amount to a food source... but really, I think it's super sweet. I love watching him with our babies.

So, today's plans are to go to Laurel to let each kid get a little something for daddy's birthday, and pick up some extra craft items so they can all make him something, and decorate cards. Then mommy will make a nice dinner, and the kids will help make a brownie cheesecake.

With hubby's birthday arriving, I've began wondering about people's views on older fathers. There's a socially acceptable cut off age range for mothers to be pregnant, and that's usually in their early 40's. Late 40's and above women who get pregnant not only are medically outcast, but socially gawked at. Women at this stage in life are approaching menopause and not only are recommended to not have babies by their doctors, but are questioned as to how well they will carry, deliver, and take care of the demands of a baby.

But I've never really heard much about the age expectations of a father. Aside from the kind of creepy 75+ year old new daddy, with his 29 year old new mommy wife, there's just not a lot of focus on the age of the father when a new baby arrives.

"What do Strom Thurmond, Mick Jagger, Luciano Pavarotti and Rupert Murdoch have in common?

They all fathered children after the age of 55.

Actually, if you exclude Mick Jagger, who fathered a child merely at 55, the others all did it after the age of 65. Thurmond and Murdoch were actually over 70."  
-clip from HERE

And yet, without there being any kind of guideline or expectation of the 'cut off' age for a man to father a child, like there is for a woman, my husband still gets comments from others about how he should 'stop reproducing' because he's getting old. He falls into the age range of when women are expected to stop getting pregnant, so I suppose it could be related. "Women stop in their early 40's- you should too".
On the flip side of that, I'm far from 40, therefore should it matter how old he is?

What age is expected for a man to stop fathering children? Why is it they are able to continue reproducing when womens' bodies stop? What age do you think men should stop having babies?