And other witty comments....
It never fails. We go grocery shopping, out to eat, out to play, and I hear the inevitable, "Boy, you've got your hands full!" line at least 5 times. Or other well-meaning comments, including "Are they all yours?" and "Bet you're always busy!"
But the 'hands full' comment seems to be the most common.
And I understand that they are, in fact, not ill-willed comments. They're not bashing me for having so many children. (I have 5) But rather, they're just not sure how to comment on their bewilderment of so many younguns in one family. Especially considering mine are all 2 years apart from the next one.
And every time someone makes this particular comment, it doesn't escape their mouth as a statement- rather a question! As in, "Boy, you've got your hands full........ (right)?" The "right" is always implied, never said. Like they're wanting me to agree with them. Like they're waiting to see if I'm going to break down right there and cry exclaiming my failure and incapability as a mother, and beg them to just take one or two off my hands.
Or maybe they want to hear my "day in the life of me" story about how crazy and strenuous it was just to get these children out of bed, into the vehicle, out of the vehicle, and into the store.
Maybe they think I'm one of these awesomely sarcastic moms who will tell them a witty joke about the hilarity of motherhood. Dude, I WISH!
As silly as that sounds, it's even sillier to ME to hear that comment/question. What exactly are you expecting as a response? I have no idea. I never really know what to say. Sometimes I smile and just say "yes" just to make them feel like they're right, they know how I feel and what my day must be like dealing with ALLLL of these children.
Other times I say something like "God gave me big hands" or "My heart is even fuller" so I can leave them with that June Cleaver mushy feeling in their heart, and a tear in their eye.
Sometimes I WANT to say "I am so tired of hearing that exact same sentiment multiple times, every time I bring my children into public. SHUT UP!"
But I don't.
I don't want my kids to see me bite some stranger's head off, when said stranger has given the impression that they are being nice...
Maybe I should just wear a shirt that says "Why yes, I DO have my hands full!"
No, that wouldn't work... the Ergo or Moby would cover it up....
A sign maybe?
No, that wouldn't work either.... unless I got one of the older ones to carry it. Cause I sure couldn't juggle a sign along with the diaper bag, purse, cart, and list.
Ah, well. One day I'll figure out either how these people want me to answer them, or I'll figure out how to fend off the question before it escapes their lips. Course the latter would probably be after they've all grown up and I finally... FINALLY get to go to the store ALONE. What a glorious and sad day that will be indeed.
Any day can be a good day if it has babies, baking, or Adam Sandler!
Just stumbled across your blog and I have to say that I disagree with you. I have three children ages 4 and under and I frequently get the comment, "You've got your hands full." I have never taken it in a negative way and I don't think anyone that's said to me has ever meant it in a negative way. It's simply an acknowledgment that taking care of young or many children is a lot of work and keeps a mom busy. Simple as that. And, in fact, I most frequently get that comment from older folks, who after I smile big and say, "Yes, they do keep me busy!", often follow-up with the comment, "Enjoy it while it lasts because too soon they will grow up!" I think older folks make the comment because they remember how much work and how time-consuming and tiring it is to take care of young children. I think singles and moms of only one or two kids say it because they admire the huge responsibility that taking care of many children is. In fact, a mom of one toddler talked to me in the Costco food court the other day and began the conversation with a "You've got your hands full" comment. We were soon swapping mommy stories and she went on to tell me how hard it was for her with just one child and how she was so impressed and inspired by me caring for three kids often when my husband is away for weeks at a time fishing. I as able to use the opportunity to encourage her and all because I took her "You've got your hands full" comment as compliment as she intended it to be. I really think that very few, if any, people mean "You've got your hands full" in a negative way, but are rather simply stating it as an observation or are even complimenting us moms. In fact, I've even said it myself to my friends with more children than I have and I sure hope they've never been offended by my comment because it's never uttered from my lips without admiration and recognition that motherhood is hard, but rewarding, work.
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