As a parent, you pretty much don't have a choice but to have some opinion about vaccinations.
It is a sad reality that most pediatricians do not fully discuss vaccinations with parents.
They shove a consent form in your face, then shove 4 needles in your kids legs, full of at least 4, sometimes 6, 7, or 8 vaccination concoctions.
Doctors utilize many scare tactics to make you believe you are doing the right thing, protecting your child, and protecting others.
Children may lose government assistance (could they? I don't know. That was a scare tactic used against me- if I didn't get my baby her shots we *may* lose our WIC), they may not be allowed to enroll in public school (it is possible to get an exception, but from what I understand it's kind of up to the discretion of the school board or principal or superintendent to accept it-their hands are rarely as tied as the parents). They may not be allowed in daycares. They may not be given specific medical treatment (someone I know has been bullied into getting 3 vaccinations or her surgeon will cancel her very important back surgery.. who says they wouldn't do that to a child??).
Thanks to the internet, I've had the pleasure (most of the time) of chatting with a great many mothers (and some papa's) that I never would have had the chance to meet or know otherwise. And in many groups the discussion eventually comes up about vaccinations.
Like any other medical procedure there are pros and cons. There are benefits and risks. Taking Tylenol has both benefits and risks. Undergoing surgery has both benefits and risks. And getting vaccinations have both benefits and risks. It's up to us as adults to decide which is greater- the benefit or the risk.
If I take an Ibuprofen or receive a shot of Toradol, I will have an anaphylactic reaction. Therefore I have been warned against taking any kind of anti-inflammatory medication. I may be ok. I may struggle to breathe for 10-20 minutes. Or I may die. Those are the risks. The benefit of the anti-inflammatory medication is that I should feel a little bit of relief in my lower back pain. The amount of relief I feel is unknown. It could stop the pain almost completely. It could ease it from a screeching banshee to a dull roar. It could do nothing.
So I have to choose. Do I try out a different anti-inflammatory and see what happens? Do the potential benefits outweigh the potential risks?
In my specific case, no. Hell no. No way will I ever willingly or knowingly take an anti-inflammatory. True, it could only cause some mild irritation for a short period of time. Or it could kill me. Not sure I'm willing to play Russian Roulette with a pill just yet.
The exact same scenario is given to every parent when it's time to get their shots.
The benefit of the vaccination is that it SHOULD protect the child from contracting whatever virus they are vaccinating against. Assuming the immune system of the child can create the antibodies to kill the virus in the vaccination.
The risks of the vaccination are kind of a mystery. You can expect your child to have inflammation at the injection site, and possibly a fever for the next 24 hours. Assuming their immune system can create the antibodies to kill the virus in the vaccination... and the rest of the crap in the vaccination doesn't harm or kill the child.
Vaccination risks include, but are not limited to allergic reactions, swelling, severe flu/pneumonia, developing sensory processing disorders, heart failure, brain damage, and death.
So as parents we have to look at this information and decide what to pick. Yes, give your child the chicken pox vaccination and hope for the best, or let their own immune system learn how to battle it out and not worry about those risks.
It's a tough choice. And as parents we always feel guilty. There's never a perfect answer.
Here's what I don't understand about "the vaccination debate".
Most of the time I see a vaccination debate it goes something like this:
Vaccinations save lives. You are killing our babies, children, and future by not giving them.
VS
Vaccinations are poison. They are killing our babies, children, and future by being given.
But the thing is I have never seen a non-vaxer tell someone who vaxes that they shouldn't do it unless they are asked their thoughts and opinions. Most of the non-vaxers I know are pretty content letting other parents shoot their kids up, so long as they have done their research, it's their choice as parents. And as long as our rights to not vaccinate are not infringed on, then we're pretty mellow about the discussion. We like to say things like "I won't do it to my children." "MY children will not be vaccinated."
Whereas the other side tends to get pretty heated. They like to use the same scare tactics that the doctors do to try and convince non-vaxers how horrible they are and how they're going to destroy the world or some such nonsense. We're killing our kids. Our kids are not safe. Don't drink after our kids.
They like to say things like "It is imperative that you vaccinate your children." "YOU should vaccinate YOUR kids."
In conclusion I'd just like to pose this question.
Why do those on the vaccination side of the debate even care who is or isn't vaccinated?
If your kid is vaccinated shouldn't he be safe?
If he is protected, then why should you care whether my child is not?
If your child has received the chicken pox vaccination, then it shouldn't matter if he is in the same room, same bed, sharing a soda with my child who is currently infected.
So who cares?
Parents- just be sure you do your own research. Look into BOTH sides. Don't just research "why vaccinations are bad" because you will get a lot of misinformation. There's a lot of people who would wish that vaccinations didn't even exist and they have their own scare tactics and conspiracy theories. So be sure you research "why vaccinations are good" as well so that you have a better grasp of the whole story. There's just as much misinformation about why they are good as well, so try and read as many different sources as you can. Just make sure you don't believe everything you read on the internet, and make the best, most informed decision you can for your babies.
Any day can be a good day if it has babies, baking, or Adam Sandler!
Friday, December 7, 2012
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Elf on the Shelf.... Sort of
So I've heard of this Elf on the Shelf. If you're on facebook you've probably got at least one friend posting pictures of their Elf.
I finally decided to look into it this year. What can I say, curiosity killed the cat. It does look like a cute idea to see these little Elves getting into mischief.
So I found the www.elfontheshelf.com website.
I haven't read the book, so I'm still not 100% informed, but here's what the main page says:
"The tradition begins when Santa sends his scout elves out to Elf Adoption Centers. Waiting for their families to bring them home, these patient elves hibernate until their family reads The Elf on the Shelf, gives their elf a very special name, and registers their adoption online. Once named, each scout elf will receive its Christmas magic and become a part of the family’s Christmas each and every year. "
That is so cute :) The kids get to name it, it's Christmas magic, it's story time... it could be a really fun tradition!
The website goes on to say:
"Excellent listeners and even better observers, these scout elves are the eyes and ears of Santa Claus. Although they cannot be touched, or else they may lose their magic, the elf will always listen and relay messages back to Santa. Taking in all the day-to-day activities around the house, no good deed goes unnoticed; these scout elves take their job seriously."
I don't really understand why they can't be touched. Fear of breaking him? Maybe so that when the kids see the Elf in different places they won't question if mom and dad moved it?
"Each night, after the family goes to bed, the scout elf uses his magical Christmas powers to fly back to the North Pole. Once there, the elf will make his or her daily report to Santa and visit with elf friends where they will tell stories about their beloved families, play with the reindeer, and of course, sneak some of Mrs. Claus’ cookies! "
From what I have been told, and what I interpret this to say is that the Elf goes back to the North Pole every night to report to Santa whether the kids that adopted him have been good or bad that day.
Let the manipulation begin. "Better be good today, Johnny. The Elf is gonna tell Santa you're being naughty and he won't bring you any presents."
"Before the family awakes each morning, their special scout elf will fly back to their home from the North Pole. However, since these elves like to play games, don’t expect to find them in the same spot! While some like to hide in the freezer (probably because it reminds them of the North Pole) and others prefer to sit on the fireplace mantle or hang from the chandelier, these elves love to play hide-and-seek with their families. "
I thought the reindeer were the ones who played games?
(All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names, they never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games....)
I never knew Elves to be particularly playful or mischievous. They always seemed pretty serious to me. Just watch all 3 "The Santa Claus" movies. I know what I'm talking about here ;)
That being said, I think the cutest and best part of the Elf is the silly poses people put them in, and the stories they make up to go with the poses. And I do think that would be really fun to do with my kids!!
While I'm not for the using Santa against kids to make them behave thing, I still think the little Elf would be fun.
I'm going to make an Elf. Cause that's how I roll. Then I'm going to pack him in a box with a letter. Then I will wrap the box up in brown packing paper and address it to our family. I'm going to leave it outside our front door, and then send the kids out for something like taking recycling out (one of the boy's favorite chores. No, really, they LOVE to recycle!!) so they will find it.
My kids are more older than younger. 10 (YES, 10!!! Aye!!), 7, 5, 3, and 1, and the older ones are going to wonder why all of the sudden Santa is sending Elves to houses. Which is the point of the letter.
My oldest 2 are always asking how Santa gets in when we haven't ever had a chimney. I never have a great answer. (Kind of like never having a great answer when asked if Santa is real) I thought about the key thing, but just never got into it.... maybe our Elf could bring one with him.
No, BETTER- originally I was going to say the Elf is scouting out the house to go back and tell Santa how to get in... BUT it might be COOLER to say that the Elf has to MAKE a key that will allow Santa access into our house... and that's where the magic key can come from! It can appear on Christmas Eve in the Elf's hands!
The letter could mention that Santa is sending Elves to houses that don't have chimneys, but since it's a new program at the North Pole he had to use younger, kid elves, not the older, adult elves who already have jobs, and they're still very silly and playful and like to play with Santa's magic.
Oh yeah. This is gonna be cool.
I finally decided to look into it this year. What can I say, curiosity killed the cat. It does look like a cute idea to see these little Elves getting into mischief.
So I found the www.elfontheshelf.com website.
I haven't read the book, so I'm still not 100% informed, but here's what the main page says:
"The tradition begins when Santa sends his scout elves out to Elf Adoption Centers. Waiting for their families to bring them home, these patient elves hibernate until their family reads The Elf on the Shelf, gives their elf a very special name, and registers their adoption online. Once named, each scout elf will receive its Christmas magic and become a part of the family’s Christmas each and every year. "
That is so cute :) The kids get to name it, it's Christmas magic, it's story time... it could be a really fun tradition!
The website goes on to say:
"Excellent listeners and even better observers, these scout elves are the eyes and ears of Santa Claus. Although they cannot be touched, or else they may lose their magic, the elf will always listen and relay messages back to Santa. Taking in all the day-to-day activities around the house, no good deed goes unnoticed; these scout elves take their job seriously."
I don't really understand why they can't be touched. Fear of breaking him? Maybe so that when the kids see the Elf in different places they won't question if mom and dad moved it?
"Each night, after the family goes to bed, the scout elf uses his magical Christmas powers to fly back to the North Pole. Once there, the elf will make his or her daily report to Santa and visit with elf friends where they will tell stories about their beloved families, play with the reindeer, and of course, sneak some of Mrs. Claus’ cookies! "
From what I have been told, and what I interpret this to say is that the Elf goes back to the North Pole every night to report to Santa whether the kids that adopted him have been good or bad that day.
Let the manipulation begin. "Better be good today, Johnny. The Elf is gonna tell Santa you're being naughty and he won't bring you any presents."
"Before the family awakes each morning, their special scout elf will fly back to their home from the North Pole. However, since these elves like to play games, don’t expect to find them in the same spot! While some like to hide in the freezer (probably because it reminds them of the North Pole) and others prefer to sit on the fireplace mantle or hang from the chandelier, these elves love to play hide-and-seek with their families. "
I thought the reindeer were the ones who played games?
(All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names, they never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games....)
I never knew Elves to be particularly playful or mischievous. They always seemed pretty serious to me. Just watch all 3 "The Santa Claus" movies. I know what I'm talking about here ;)
That being said, I think the cutest and best part of the Elf is the silly poses people put them in, and the stories they make up to go with the poses. And I do think that would be really fun to do with my kids!!
While I'm not for the using Santa against kids to make them behave thing, I still think the little Elf would be fun.
So here's my plan.
I'm going to make an Elf. Cause that's how I roll. Then I'm going to pack him in a box with a letter. Then I will wrap the box up in brown packing paper and address it to our family. I'm going to leave it outside our front door, and then send the kids out for something like taking recycling out (one of the boy's favorite chores. No, really, they LOVE to recycle!!) so they will find it.
My kids are more older than younger. 10 (YES, 10!!! Aye!!), 7, 5, 3, and 1, and the older ones are going to wonder why all of the sudden Santa is sending Elves to houses. Which is the point of the letter.
My oldest 2 are always asking how Santa gets in when we haven't ever had a chimney. I never have a great answer. (Kind of like never having a great answer when asked if Santa is real) I thought about the key thing, but just never got into it.... maybe our Elf could bring one with him.
No, BETTER- originally I was going to say the Elf is scouting out the house to go back and tell Santa how to get in... BUT it might be COOLER to say that the Elf has to MAKE a key that will allow Santa access into our house... and that's where the magic key can come from! It can appear on Christmas Eve in the Elf's hands!
The letter could mention that Santa is sending Elves to houses that don't have chimneys, but since it's a new program at the North Pole he had to use younger, kid elves, not the older, adult elves who already have jobs, and they're still very silly and playful and like to play with Santa's magic.
Oh yeah. This is gonna be cool.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Tis the Season...
November, December... it's the holiday season.
Decorations.
Magic.
Joy.
Laughter.
Lights.
Music.
Food.
So why does it always make me so sad?
Why does it always make me so unhappy?
Why do I want to hide in my room til January?
I really thought that moving south would take this away. I thought the snow and freezing cold was a major contributor to my feelings. It's too cold to go out. It's too messy to go out. It's so gloomy outside.
But here I am. It's 80F in December. I have the air conditioner on. It's sunny out.
And I still feel like shit.
I still feel like hiding in a hole.
I try so hard for my kids. If it weren't for my kids I wouldn't decorate. There wouldn't be any magic. I wouldn't smile. I wouldn't laugh. The Christmas lights wouldn't matter. I wouldn't sing. I wouldn't cook. (OK I'm sure I would cook... but not like a family feast).
We decorated the inside of the house. Got the trees out. Decorated the TV shelf. I'm not sure what to do with all the crap I had to move to get the big tree up, but I'm sure I'll figure it out soon enough. I don't really want to, or care. But it is kind of sloppy in here.
*Sigh*
I really do hate feeling like this. Which is why I try so hard to make my kids happy. I just wish it would just go away so I could be happy too.
Decorations.
Magic.
Joy.
Laughter.
Lights.
Music.
Food.
So why does it always make me so sad?
Why does it always make me so unhappy?
Why do I want to hide in my room til January?
I really thought that moving south would take this away. I thought the snow and freezing cold was a major contributor to my feelings. It's too cold to go out. It's too messy to go out. It's so gloomy outside.
But here I am. It's 80F in December. I have the air conditioner on. It's sunny out.
And I still feel like shit.
I still feel like hiding in a hole.
I try so hard for my kids. If it weren't for my kids I wouldn't decorate. There wouldn't be any magic. I wouldn't smile. I wouldn't laugh. The Christmas lights wouldn't matter. I wouldn't sing. I wouldn't cook. (OK I'm sure I would cook... but not like a family feast).
We decorated the inside of the house. Got the trees out. Decorated the TV shelf. I'm not sure what to do with all the crap I had to move to get the big tree up, but I'm sure I'll figure it out soon enough. I don't really want to, or care. But it is kind of sloppy in here.
*Sigh*
I really do hate feeling like this. Which is why I try so hard to make my kids happy. I just wish it would just go away so I could be happy too.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Menu Time
Sorry for the lack of posts lately. It's been really stressful and hectic in the 7under1roof household lately.
But I really wanted to post today because I'm working on my menu.
After all these years of making menus, there is still something I struggle with.
Here's how I do my menu.
I browse through my cook books (cause I have a LOT) and pull out a few that sound interesting or have the themes that I am looking for (Crock pot, poultry, casseroles, etc). I also scour the internet (my favorite site is www.allrecipes.com, but I will many times just google and look around at blogs and other random websites) for recipes as well- but usually I don't have much trouble with those- I will print out recipes most of the time. Unless it's on allrecipes.com, then I tend to just save the recipe in my recipe box and forget to print it out. BUT I'm just going to focus this post on my cook books/magazines.
So I'll have this stack of books and magazines I go through for my 2 week or 4 week menu. I scour through and pick out several recipes that I want to put on my menu.
Here is where I struggle.
I have tried writing out a calendar (or using one premade for writing a lot of information in) with the amount of days that I am making my menu for, and writing the recipe name, book, and page in on the date I want to make it.
When I first started doing this method, I just used a separate piece of paper and wrote a list of items that I would need that I didn't already have.
After doing that for a while I realized that I wasn't buying enough of each item to cover all of the recipes, or I would forget what recipe the item was for and if I can't find it, I'd try and substitute it and screw up the recipe.
So I actually started writing down the recipe next to the ingredients OR the amount required in the recipe to make sure I got enough.
So then when I get home and start working through my menu, MOST of the time the menu works out good at least for the first week. But once I get into the second week, or GOD FORBID I lose that menu sheet, I am screwed up. I either lose track of what books I am supposed to be using, or run out of ingredients prematurely.
I'm considering actually copying the recipe out of the book on my printer and filing them into sheet protectors into a binder. But OHMYGOSH how much MORE work would that be? UGH I really think it would wind up doing me a lot of good, but I then have to weigh the extra time and cost of the menu binder, and I haven't decided if it is worth it.
So I now pose a question to you-
What are your methods to writing out your menu? How do you coordinate your recipes and grocery list?
But I really wanted to post today because I'm working on my menu.
After all these years of making menus, there is still something I struggle with.
Here's how I do my menu.
I browse through my cook books (cause I have a LOT) and pull out a few that sound interesting or have the themes that I am looking for (Crock pot, poultry, casseroles, etc). I also scour the internet (my favorite site is www.allrecipes.com, but I will many times just google and look around at blogs and other random websites) for recipes as well- but usually I don't have much trouble with those- I will print out recipes most of the time. Unless it's on allrecipes.com, then I tend to just save the recipe in my recipe box and forget to print it out. BUT I'm just going to focus this post on my cook books/magazines.
So I'll have this stack of books and magazines I go through for my 2 week or 4 week menu. I scour through and pick out several recipes that I want to put on my menu.
Here is where I struggle.
I have tried writing out a calendar (or using one premade for writing a lot of information in) with the amount of days that I am making my menu for, and writing the recipe name, book, and page in on the date I want to make it.
When I first started doing this method, I just used a separate piece of paper and wrote a list of items that I would need that I didn't already have.
After doing that for a while I realized that I wasn't buying enough of each item to cover all of the recipes, or I would forget what recipe the item was for and if I can't find it, I'd try and substitute it and screw up the recipe.
So I actually started writing down the recipe next to the ingredients OR the amount required in the recipe to make sure I got enough.
So then when I get home and start working through my menu, MOST of the time the menu works out good at least for the first week. But once I get into the second week, or GOD FORBID I lose that menu sheet, I am screwed up. I either lose track of what books I am supposed to be using, or run out of ingredients prematurely.
I'm considering actually copying the recipe out of the book on my printer and filing them into sheet protectors into a binder. But OHMYGOSH how much MORE work would that be? UGH I really think it would wind up doing me a lot of good, but I then have to weigh the extra time and cost of the menu binder, and I haven't decided if it is worth it.
So I now pose a question to you-
What are your methods to writing out your menu? How do you coordinate your recipes and grocery list?
Friday, October 26, 2012
Versus; The Stigma of the WAHM
This post has been a thought process that's been a long time in the making.
I've been brainstorming it for a while because it is an important subject.
Let's start out with answering this question:
What IS a WAHM?
The easy answer is : a Work At Home Mom
The more descriptive answer is: a Mother who is not only a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) whom does not work outside the home, but rather, spends her days at home with her child or children performing all of the duties necessary to care for her offspring, including but not limited to: cooking, feeding, cleaning up after said littles (food, toys, diapers, clothes, spills, etc), laundry, dishes, vacuuming, toilet scrubbing, bathroom bleaching, floor mopping, dusting, organizing, chauffeuring, doctoring (puke, runny noses, fevers, tummy bugs, more puke, boo-boos), playing, imagining, teaching, and more!; BUT ALSO does something during her time at home in order to create income.
This post is going to specifically talk about the "crafty"WAHM- the WAHM who creates hand made items for resale.
I am one of these moms. That is why this post is so important to me.
All you have to do is use your search engine and you can find a plethora of worldwide WAHMs. In just etsy, hyenacart, artfire, and ebay (to name just a few) there are hundreds (probably thousands) of 'crafty' WAHMs.
Being somewhat on the 'inside' of the WAHM world, I have learned this one important rule: word of mouth can be your best friend or your worst enemy.
The stigma of the WAHM is simple- if your products aren't perfect you may be blackballed.
Stray hairs, loose strings, crooked stitches, misaligned snaps/buttons/zippers, distorted appliques/printings/screenprints, uneven lines.... any of these imperfections will render your product less than awesome, and begin your vertical leap down the slope of blacklisthood.
And once you hit rock bottom, (even ON the way down) it's a struggle to fight your way back up. And it's you against the world it seems. You'll have your handful of followers, friends, and loyal customers, but potential new customers are going to be more influenced by the quiet whispers of the unhappy customer.
The funny and interesting thing about the WAHM consumer world is that unhappy customers are very quiet. When something happens at WalMart that makes a customer unhappy you can bet that it will be made very public. The trash talking and crap slinging will run wild- especially thanks to social media and the anonymity of the internet. But this is not quite so in the WAHM world. Unhappy customers will quietly discuss problems with their friends, give the WAHM multiple chances to correct the problem, be slightly more patient with the WAHM. But you can bet, despite the patience and multiple counts of forgiveness, you can put money on the fact that these customers ARE talking. They are talking to their friends. They are talking to other WAHMs. It's not loud. It's not in public. It's not on the main wall or forum of their facebook or discussion board- it's in private groups, private messages, texts, phone calls, emails. It's not in feedback forums, or quality comment questionnaires, or product reviews even, which is exceptionally strange.
You can go to just about any corporate retail website- home depot, walmart, overstock, amazon, ebay, etc. and look at any product for sale, and see product and/or seller reviews. Happy or unhappy, positive or negative, the facts and emotions are there.
This is not always so in the WAHM world.
The reason is that many times the customers are friends with the seller. And nobody wants to talk crap about their friend. Nobody wants to talk crap about their friend's product. Nobody wants to make their friend feel bad.
Even when the customer doesn't know the seller personally, they know their situation. Or they know friends of the seller. And nobody likes to get personal. If you get an unsatisfactory product or service, and go public with your unhappiness YOU, as the customer, could get backlash from the seller's friends.
The WAHM world is a round robin of whispers and cliques. You never know who is buddy-buddy with who, and if you make the wrong comment to the wrong person, you could wind up being shunned. Or get the reputation as a 'picky' or 'impossible to please' customer.
The other funny and interesting thing about the WAHM world is the "bad publicity is still publicity" rule. So even if you purchase and receive a sub-par product/service, going public with your unhappiness only drives up the seller's publicity. So by saying nothing, a customer feels like they're not helping the word of mouth advertisement.
Because of all of this business vs. emotional world, a WAHM has a TON of pressure on them to be absolutely perfect.
Now, here's what makes me so nuts about this.
When I go to a brick and mortar retail store (a store within a building where you have to physically be there to make purchases) or make online purchases from commercial retailers online, I find I don't always get perfect items. I've purchased t-shirts with loose strings, crooked stitches, floppy buttons, screwed up screenprints, broken zippers... the list goes on. Yet I'm expected to pay full price for these items. I haven't ever gotten a "seconds" discount when bringing said product to the attention of customer service. Usually it's either "take it or leave it" or "the store will keep it and send it back as defective".
In the commercial retail world there's usually multiples of each item. So when you find a shirt with unsatisfactory topstitching, you can just grab the next one on the rack.
In the WAHM world there's, more often than not, only one item just like that one you want. Either the seller wants the items to be 'one of a kind', or to save overhead costs, only purchased enough material to make that item one time.
The other problem with the stigma of the WAHM is that when a customer does wind up unhappy with their product/service, the WAHM then generally has to eat the costs of return shipping, fixing or replacing the product, and then shipping the new item back to the customer. Which can be devastating to the WAHM. Customers want high quality items for the least amount of money necessary. So actually making a profit in the WAHM world is hard. We have to be our own accountant and break down actual costs of materials, and somehow pay ourselves an hourly wage to do something that commercial retailers outsource to multiple areas, and the overhead is spread around to different areas. Something that may normally be on an assembly line- person A cuts the fabric, person B sews the fabric, person C adds buttons/zippers etc. is all done by the WAHM. So paying ourselves a respectable hourly wage then increases the price of the item to a level that the average WAHM shopper is uncomfortable with. So we sacrifice our hourly wage and only focus on making a profit on material cost.
Too many times I've heard/read comments that consumers expect WAHM products to be perfect. If they're going to pay the money for the product, they expect perfection.
So the stigma continues.
I only wish that it was easier to be a WAHM without 'just making enough to support my fabric habit'.
I've been brainstorming it for a while because it is an important subject.
Let's start out with answering this question:
What IS a WAHM?
The easy answer is : a Work At Home Mom
The more descriptive answer is: a Mother who is not only a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) whom does not work outside the home, but rather, spends her days at home with her child or children performing all of the duties necessary to care for her offspring, including but not limited to: cooking, feeding, cleaning up after said littles (food, toys, diapers, clothes, spills, etc), laundry, dishes, vacuuming, toilet scrubbing, bathroom bleaching, floor mopping, dusting, organizing, chauffeuring, doctoring (puke, runny noses, fevers, tummy bugs, more puke, boo-boos), playing, imagining, teaching, and more!; BUT ALSO does something during her time at home in order to create income.
This post is going to specifically talk about the "crafty"WAHM- the WAHM who creates hand made items for resale.
I am one of these moms. That is why this post is so important to me.
All you have to do is use your search engine and you can find a plethora of worldwide WAHMs. In just etsy, hyenacart, artfire, and ebay (to name just a few) there are hundreds (probably thousands) of 'crafty' WAHMs.
Being somewhat on the 'inside' of the WAHM world, I have learned this one important rule: word of mouth can be your best friend or your worst enemy.
The stigma of the WAHM is simple- if your products aren't perfect you may be blackballed.
Stray hairs, loose strings, crooked stitches, misaligned snaps/buttons/zippers, distorted appliques/printings/screenprints, uneven lines.... any of these imperfections will render your product less than awesome, and begin your vertical leap down the slope of blacklisthood.
And once you hit rock bottom, (even ON the way down) it's a struggle to fight your way back up. And it's you against the world it seems. You'll have your handful of followers, friends, and loyal customers, but potential new customers are going to be more influenced by the quiet whispers of the unhappy customer.
The funny and interesting thing about the WAHM consumer world is that unhappy customers are very quiet. When something happens at WalMart that makes a customer unhappy you can bet that it will be made very public. The trash talking and crap slinging will run wild- especially thanks to social media and the anonymity of the internet. But this is not quite so in the WAHM world. Unhappy customers will quietly discuss problems with their friends, give the WAHM multiple chances to correct the problem, be slightly more patient with the WAHM. But you can bet, despite the patience and multiple counts of forgiveness, you can put money on the fact that these customers ARE talking. They are talking to their friends. They are talking to other WAHMs. It's not loud. It's not in public. It's not on the main wall or forum of their facebook or discussion board- it's in private groups, private messages, texts, phone calls, emails. It's not in feedback forums, or quality comment questionnaires, or product reviews even, which is exceptionally strange.
You can go to just about any corporate retail website- home depot, walmart, overstock, amazon, ebay, etc. and look at any product for sale, and see product and/or seller reviews. Happy or unhappy, positive or negative, the facts and emotions are there.
This is not always so in the WAHM world.
The reason is that many times the customers are friends with the seller. And nobody wants to talk crap about their friend. Nobody wants to talk crap about their friend's product. Nobody wants to make their friend feel bad.
Even when the customer doesn't know the seller personally, they know their situation. Or they know friends of the seller. And nobody likes to get personal. If you get an unsatisfactory product or service, and go public with your unhappiness YOU, as the customer, could get backlash from the seller's friends.
The WAHM world is a round robin of whispers and cliques. You never know who is buddy-buddy with who, and if you make the wrong comment to the wrong person, you could wind up being shunned. Or get the reputation as a 'picky' or 'impossible to please' customer.
The other funny and interesting thing about the WAHM world is the "bad publicity is still publicity" rule. So even if you purchase and receive a sub-par product/service, going public with your unhappiness only drives up the seller's publicity. So by saying nothing, a customer feels like they're not helping the word of mouth advertisement.
Because of all of this business vs. emotional world, a WAHM has a TON of pressure on them to be absolutely perfect.
Now, here's what makes me so nuts about this.
When I go to a brick and mortar retail store (a store within a building where you have to physically be there to make purchases) or make online purchases from commercial retailers online, I find I don't always get perfect items. I've purchased t-shirts with loose strings, crooked stitches, floppy buttons, screwed up screenprints, broken zippers... the list goes on. Yet I'm expected to pay full price for these items. I haven't ever gotten a "seconds" discount when bringing said product to the attention of customer service. Usually it's either "take it or leave it" or "the store will keep it and send it back as defective".
In the commercial retail world there's usually multiples of each item. So when you find a shirt with unsatisfactory topstitching, you can just grab the next one on the rack.
In the WAHM world there's, more often than not, only one item just like that one you want. Either the seller wants the items to be 'one of a kind', or to save overhead costs, only purchased enough material to make that item one time.
The other problem with the stigma of the WAHM is that when a customer does wind up unhappy with their product/service, the WAHM then generally has to eat the costs of return shipping, fixing or replacing the product, and then shipping the new item back to the customer. Which can be devastating to the WAHM. Customers want high quality items for the least amount of money necessary. So actually making a profit in the WAHM world is hard. We have to be our own accountant and break down actual costs of materials, and somehow pay ourselves an hourly wage to do something that commercial retailers outsource to multiple areas, and the overhead is spread around to different areas. Something that may normally be on an assembly line- person A cuts the fabric, person B sews the fabric, person C adds buttons/zippers etc. is all done by the WAHM. So paying ourselves a respectable hourly wage then increases the price of the item to a level that the average WAHM shopper is uncomfortable with. So we sacrifice our hourly wage and only focus on making a profit on material cost.
Too many times I've heard/read comments that consumers expect WAHM products to be perfect. If they're going to pay the money for the product, they expect perfection.
So the stigma continues.
I only wish that it was easier to be a WAHM without 'just making enough to support my fabric habit'.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Creating the boys' room - DIY fabric border!
So, we've been in our house for juuust over 1 month now, and I've FINALLY got main stuff on the boys' walls done. I will still be adding more decorations, but it's painted and the border is up.
I wanted to get grandpa's room done first, and I will show it in a later post.
So this is sort of a DIY fabric border as well!
The boys' room theme is race cars.
I spent hours on google and pinterest looking for ideas on how to paint and decorate their room. I found some pretty cool stuff! One thing I found was two colored walls! I've always just had one color on the walls, but I love the look of two. So I decided to go with blue on the top half and green on the bottom- which meant a border needed to go in the middle. It took me a while to decide on what I wanted for the border, and I knew it needed to be race car themed.
I finally decided to make it a road.
I wanted the boys to be able to drive their toy cars on it, so we set it at 3' from the floor. So the bottom 3' of the wall is green and the rest of the top is blue.
Originally I was going to purchase a wallpaper border- the kind you just get wet and stick on the wall.
Then I found this: lil Mop Tom: {EASY} Fabric Roads
The mama on the blog used old jeans to cut out fabric roads for her son to play with! That looked right up my boys' alley!
Then I thought to myself, self, is it possible to use this same idea and make the border out of old jeans to look like a road?
I did a little more research on getting fabric to stick to the wall. I knew I wanted it to be as flat as possible so the boys couldn't pull it off the wall. I also didn't want to use nails or tacks because this is a rental house and I don't want 17million holes in the walls. Sticky back velcro was an idea, but I knew it would make the top and bottom of the border bumpy and the middle flappy. There was a pretty cool idea here: The Thrifty House: Iron on Wall Art but I was worried that the weight of the denim would cause it to fall. After all I wanted one long strip, not a bunch of small sections.
A friend on Facebook recommended spray adhesive. Spray adhesive? What is this stuff you're talking about??
This is what she showed me: Walmart.com 3M Super 77 Multipurpose Adhesive
So the next time I went to Walmart I picked up a can for just around $11.
I already had a tote full of our old jeans- mostly full of crotch and knee rips. I've been saving them to make a skirt for myself and my sister, but decided to go ahead and use them and if I had enough left over to continue with my plan for the skirts.
I spent a couple of hours cutting the legs out of the pants. I liked the size lil Mop Top suggested of 6" wide, so I only kept the pieces that were at least that wide. Anything smaller I set aside for the skirts.
Once I got all of the jeans cut into their strips, I began serging them together at each end like you would a quilt. I wound up with a very long roll of denim with various shades and textures.
I measured each section of wall between the door, closet, and windows and cut the roll into those lengths. I have PLENTY left over for the skirts, which is exciting!
Then I ironed the strips and used some heavy spray starch to get it as stiff as possible. I've never used spray starch before, and I was actually expecting a lot more crispness than I got, but I was afraid of using too much, so I just went with how it came out. It actually worked out nicely because I was still able to loosely roll the fabric strips for easier wall mounting.
I serged the top and bottom of the long strip to make a continuous somewhat straight line. I gotta tell ya, serging 15' of fabric in one continuous line is not really hard to do, but it IS hard to keep straight. It didn't help that the height of each section of jeans were a bit different as well, being that some came from kid pants and some came from adult pants.
So my strips were done and I was ready to get to work!
My tools were:
My measured, serged stripes of denim
The spray adhesive
A towel
A yellow fabric paint pen
And an old paint brush from a watercolor set.
With Hubby's help, we started by one window and I sprayed the back of the denim and stuck a section to the wall. It held BEAUTIFULLY!! And was VERY easy to stretch and smooth the wrinkles out of. He would hold the roll of denim and unroll 1-2 feet of it and I would spray the back and then press it to the wall. We continued like this until the whole room was done!
Afterward I used the yellow fabric paint pen to draw little rectangles down the center of the denim road strip to create the yellow lines you see in a real road! At first I was just using the pen, and it was making quite a thick amount of paint. I knew that would take forever to dry, so I decided to grab a little paintbrush out of a watercolor set and brush the fabric paint to thin it out. It really worked great!!
I actually kind of liked the wiggly squiggly crookedness of the road!
I even made sure to add the little 4" piece in the corner between the door and closet door :)
And there you have it!!
Mama made, upcycled, super thrifty
road border!!
After the paint dried I turned the kids loose on it. They had been anxiously waiting to get to play on their new road!
I wanted to get grandpa's room done first, and I will show it in a later post.
So this is sort of a DIY fabric border as well!
The boys' room theme is race cars.
I spent hours on google and pinterest looking for ideas on how to paint and decorate their room. I found some pretty cool stuff! One thing I found was two colored walls! I've always just had one color on the walls, but I love the look of two. So I decided to go with blue on the top half and green on the bottom- which meant a border needed to go in the middle. It took me a while to decide on what I wanted for the border, and I knew it needed to be race car themed.
I finally decided to make it a road.
I wanted the boys to be able to drive their toy cars on it, so we set it at 3' from the floor. So the bottom 3' of the wall is green and the rest of the top is blue.
Originally I was going to purchase a wallpaper border- the kind you just get wet and stick on the wall.
Then I found this: lil Mop Tom: {EASY} Fabric Roads
The mama on the blog used old jeans to cut out fabric roads for her son to play with! That looked right up my boys' alley!
Then I thought to myself, self, is it possible to use this same idea and make the border out of old jeans to look like a road?
I did a little more research on getting fabric to stick to the wall. I knew I wanted it to be as flat as possible so the boys couldn't pull it off the wall. I also didn't want to use nails or tacks because this is a rental house and I don't want 17million holes in the walls. Sticky back velcro was an idea, but I knew it would make the top and bottom of the border bumpy and the middle flappy. There was a pretty cool idea here: The Thrifty House: Iron on Wall Art but I was worried that the weight of the denim would cause it to fall. After all I wanted one long strip, not a bunch of small sections.
A friend on Facebook recommended spray adhesive. Spray adhesive? What is this stuff you're talking about??
This is what she showed me: Walmart.com 3M Super 77 Multipurpose Adhesive
So the next time I went to Walmart I picked up a can for just around $11.
I already had a tote full of our old jeans- mostly full of crotch and knee rips. I've been saving them to make a skirt for myself and my sister, but decided to go ahead and use them and if I had enough left over to continue with my plan for the skirts.
I spent a couple of hours cutting the legs out of the pants. I liked the size lil Mop Top suggested of 6" wide, so I only kept the pieces that were at least that wide. Anything smaller I set aside for the skirts.
Once I got all of the jeans cut into their strips, I began serging them together at each end like you would a quilt. I wound up with a very long roll of denim with various shades and textures.
I measured each section of wall between the door, closet, and windows and cut the roll into those lengths. I have PLENTY left over for the skirts, which is exciting!
Then I ironed the strips and used some heavy spray starch to get it as stiff as possible. I've never used spray starch before, and I was actually expecting a lot more crispness than I got, but I was afraid of using too much, so I just went with how it came out. It actually worked out nicely because I was still able to loosely roll the fabric strips for easier wall mounting.
I serged the top and bottom of the long strip to make a continuous somewhat straight line. I gotta tell ya, serging 15' of fabric in one continuous line is not really hard to do, but it IS hard to keep straight. It didn't help that the height of each section of jeans were a bit different as well, being that some came from kid pants and some came from adult pants.
So my strips were done and I was ready to get to work!
My tools were:
My measured, serged stripes of denim
The spray adhesive
A towel
A yellow fabric paint pen
And an old paint brush from a watercolor set.
With Hubby's help, we started by one window and I sprayed the back of the denim and stuck a section to the wall. It held BEAUTIFULLY!! And was VERY easy to stretch and smooth the wrinkles out of. He would hold the roll of denim and unroll 1-2 feet of it and I would spray the back and then press it to the wall. We continued like this until the whole room was done!
Afterward I used the yellow fabric paint pen to draw little rectangles down the center of the denim road strip to create the yellow lines you see in a real road! At first I was just using the pen, and it was making quite a thick amount of paint. I knew that would take forever to dry, so I decided to grab a little paintbrush out of a watercolor set and brush the fabric paint to thin it out. It really worked great!!
I actually kind of liked the wiggly squiggly crookedness of the road!
I even made sure to add the little 4" piece in the corner between the door and closet door :)
And there you have it!!
Mama made, upcycled, super thrifty
road border!!
After the paint dried I turned the kids loose on it. They had been anxiously waiting to get to play on their new road!
Saturday, August 25, 2012
1:30 again
Funny how at night I lay in bed, can't get to sleep, so I figure I'll try and read some stuff on the internet or play a game on my computer to attempt to make me tired... it rarely works. So I stay up til some ungodly middle of the night hour, generally after 2 but before 6, and wake up at some late morning hour, generally after 7:30 but before 10. Then I go through my day, doing chores, cooking food, taking care of my babes, taking care of my grandfather, just doing what needs to be done. And usually some time between 7PM and 9PM I am so tired I could just fall right on over. It sometimes happens right after I finish eating dinner, other times it waits til after I get dinner cleaned up. At that time I think to myself, it's a bit early to put the kids to bed now, because they'll be up at 5 and I will want to lock them in a cage, so I can't let myself fall asleep now... but I can try and go to bed early, I'll go to sleep when they do between 9 and 10.
But sleep doesn't come. I'm not tired between 9 and 10. However, I get in bed anyway. And I lay here, and lay here, and lay here. Bored and exhausted, but not sleepy.
And the cycle continues... up until 2 or 3 or 4, awake at 7 or 8 or 9.
The one benefit of my insomnia is that my scouring the internet has given me many great ideas for things I want to accomplish.
I think I want a table saw.
But for now the circular will have to do.
But sleep doesn't come. I'm not tired between 9 and 10. However, I get in bed anyway. And I lay here, and lay here, and lay here. Bored and exhausted, but not sleepy.
And the cycle continues... up until 2 or 3 or 4, awake at 7 or 8 or 9.
The one benefit of my insomnia is that my scouring the internet has given me many great ideas for things I want to accomplish.
I think I want a table saw.
But for now the circular will have to do.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Reconnecting
I'm 28 1/2 years old.
It's taken me that long to learn that I am a jealous, possessive person. And not just about my husband. I mean, obviously when he tells me about talking to women at work I get a little pain in my stomach.. but I believe that is normal for any married woman. We SHOULD care that our men spend time with other women when they're not with us.
But I'm also jealous and possessive about my very close friends.
And there's only been 2 in my life that have earned my jealousy.
As silly as it is, I get jealous when they hang out with other women... almost the same kind of pain when my husband does. I know, it's silly... I can't expect them to not have other friends besides me. I shouldn't care that they are hanging out and doing fun things with other women and not me. But it's hard not to.
Silly, I know. Maybe it's a maturity thing... I don't know. And maybe I'll never grow out of it. But I have to learn to deal with it. Like dealing with my bi-polar disorder. I just have to pay attention to my triggers, control to my emotions, and use some techniques to block my bad feelings.
It's especially important because I am reconnecting with the 1 of those 2 women who I haven't spoken to in years.
It would be stupid of me to expect her to not have any close friends, especially since we haven't talked in years. But I also can't help that my heart aches to hear about her spending time with other women.
Idiotic, right?
Yes, I know.
But I'm super glad to be reconnecting anyway. I have really missed her. And missed out on her and her life.
So now I just have to deal with my jealousy and be happy that I am blessed enough to have her back in my life.
It's taken me that long to learn that I am a jealous, possessive person. And not just about my husband. I mean, obviously when he tells me about talking to women at work I get a little pain in my stomach.. but I believe that is normal for any married woman. We SHOULD care that our men spend time with other women when they're not with us.
But I'm also jealous and possessive about my very close friends.
And there's only been 2 in my life that have earned my jealousy.
As silly as it is, I get jealous when they hang out with other women... almost the same kind of pain when my husband does. I know, it's silly... I can't expect them to not have other friends besides me. I shouldn't care that they are hanging out and doing fun things with other women and not me. But it's hard not to.
Silly, I know. Maybe it's a maturity thing... I don't know. And maybe I'll never grow out of it. But I have to learn to deal with it. Like dealing with my bi-polar disorder. I just have to pay attention to my triggers, control to my emotions, and use some techniques to block my bad feelings.
It's especially important because I am reconnecting with the 1 of those 2 women who I haven't spoken to in years.
It would be stupid of me to expect her to not have any close friends, especially since we haven't talked in years. But I also can't help that my heart aches to hear about her spending time with other women.
Idiotic, right?
Yes, I know.
But I'm super glad to be reconnecting anyway. I have really missed her. And missed out on her and her life.
So now I just have to deal with my jealousy and be happy that I am blessed enough to have her back in my life.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
A fresh start
Well, I've relocated, and we've FINALLY got a house to rent! I'm excited about the house, no doubt, but relief is probably a larger feeling than that.
Southern Texas is apparently more full of oil and other minerals than I ever knew! There's so many truckers down here moving oil from the earth to the ocean, this small city is overflowing! And most of the workers don't plan to be here for long, so they just rent houses. Many of them have homes and families in other states, whom they never get to see. But it's understandable... you've gotta go where the money is.
After our vow renewal ceremony in April, Hubby and I prayed and prayed about getting out of Montana. He had resigned from his position, which was an admirable choice in my eyes, as it saved his morals, so we were no longer tied down by his employment. And I was tired of the cold. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy winter. I do love to play in the snow with my children. But 9 months out of the year is just more than I can bare. So I was ready to head south, and Hubby was more than obliging.
Obliviously I searched the internet for jobs for him in Texas, Kansas, and even New Mexico. He had options in North Dakota, but that was Plan B, for not only would we have to continue living in Montana, he would be away from us for at least 2 weeks at a time before he could come visit. I've had my husband away from me because of work before... for very long stretches of time... I do not wish to do that anymore. If I HAVE to, I will.. but I won't like it!
Finally I found him this job. He had the qualifications, they wanted him, and even provided a relocation bonus. It was a bit further south than I was expecting to go, but I was enamored at the idea of living so close to the ocean!
Our fresh start was under way!
We know absolutely nobody in this area, and really only one person in the whole state of Texas! And I'm now 6 hours away from her! But, that's a lot better than 2 days! So a fresh start it truly was.
We moved down here in May, found a place to park our RV, and have been living out of it since. Now you will just have to imagine 5 small children, 2 adults, and 2 Saint Bernards living in an area of about 300 ft2, because trying to describe the sardine can I feel I've been living in for the last 3 months is not something I'm actually capable of doing well. I can tell you that the kids have their own room with 2 bunks and a bed on the floor at one end of the camper, and we have a queen sized bed on the opposite end, and there is a full bathroom, dining table, small couch, and tiny kitchen in the middle. Fortunately the dinette/couch are on one slide out, and the kids bedroom is also on a slide out, so it does help open it up quite a bit... which really just gives the dogs a place to lay as we step over top of them to get from one spot to another. And oh, if only they would just lay STILL!! What is it about dogs (or maybe just MY dogs) that as soon as my brain silently calculates the exact spot my foot should land so as not to step on anything but floor, it sends the signals to the muscles in my legs to move, and as I'm almost at my target THEY MOVE! Generally directly into that spot. Or I'll go to step over them as they are laying down with their heads nuzzled sweetly on the floor, and as I pass one leg over their massive bodies, they lift their heads! Or worse- attempt to stand up!!! Apollo is tall enough that when he does decide to sporadically stand up as I'm straddling him in this manner, that he actually lifts my feet from the ground. It's not a nice surprise to be walking along and then suddenly find yourself on horseback.
A couple of weeks ago hubby and I had a pretty stressful dispute. It wasn't really a fight or an argument... but he sure pissed me off. We needed a breather from one another... from the whole situation. During the 3 day breather, which actually wound up being exactly what we needed, as we have been closer than ever since then, I decided that I needed to step up my house hunting game.
Due to the influx of employees in this area, there is a housing shortage. And what houses are available are ridiculously priced. Who decided that a 2 bedroom, 1 bath apartment should be worth $1200 a month in rent? I'd sure like to punch that guy in the face. And honestly, it makes no sense to me to move my massive family into something that small for that price, when we have a perfectly good, brand spankin new camper to live in for $1000 less per month.
The beginning of the month was coming up, so I figured it was a good time to start really searching again. We had a few leads from guys he works with, and made a few dead end phone calls. Then the idea hit me to look in San Antonio, which is about 100 miles north of here. Surely there were more options in such a large city? Indeed there were. I began getting spoiled at the thought of living in such a beautiful home for a decent price. Unfortunately Hubby would have to continue living in the camper and drive up to visit on his days off.
Then a new issue came up. My grandfather, who has MS, was hospitalized. This was the first time I've known him to be in a hospital for more than an outpatient thing ... for as long as I can remember. It really worried me. Not just because of his high percentage of death. But because that high percentage of death is there, and I haven't spent enough time with him. My children haven't gotten to know him. He's all alone out there with no family and a handful of friends.
We had toyed with the idea of him moving closer to us (as there's no way either Hubby or myself could conceive of living in Southern California) but he can't handle the cold of the north. But we're not in the cold of the north anymore!
So Hubby and I talked for a few days and decided that we wanted to invite him to come live with us. We still had no home, and really no place for him to live unless we rented him an apartment, but if I could just find a house in San Antonio big enough..... So I prayed. And then I talked to him. And I decided that if this was the route God wanted us to take, grandpa would say yes. And then God would give us a suitable house. And if this was not what God wanted us to do, grandpa would say no, and we would most likely continue living in this camper until some time in 2013.
Grandpa said yes.
So the race was on to get a house. We looked at 3 in San Antonio on Saturday, and interestingly the one I had picked for my #1 choice based on what I found online became my #3 choice after we actually saw them. Indeed looks can be deceiving. My second choice was bumped up to the #1 slot, but there was still one more house to check out. I really believed it was THE ONE. I prayed and prayed, had a couple of small anxiety attacks and one stomach churning, head slamming, palm sweating huge panic attack. We were to look at the house on Tuesday. Monday night I did not sleep. The floor plan sounded perfect. The house was huge. The price, while in our higher range of affordability, was doable with a lot of penny pinching. We went and saw the house. The HOUSE WAS PERFECT. Master suite on the main floor, 2nd bedroom and 2nd bathroom on the main floor, formal dining room that would perfectly suit my homeschool room, an eat in kitchen overlooking a golf course, and then upstairs 2 more bedrooms, another full bathroom, and a loft with a closet- perfect for a craft and play room. Additionally there was a 2 car attached garage that was set up differently than most so that it didn't actually take away from the square footage of the house. The house was PERFECT. The HOA rules were annoying, but something I was willing to deal with in order to live there. The property manager promised to email me the application the following morning and it would be approved or disapproved within a day. Everything was really falling into place.
Wednesday morning she called me and informed me that she had forgotten something. The house was also up for sale. The owner was attempting to get it sold to an investor. The stipulations of the lease were that the lease had to be honored. We would either live there for the entire year, or if the new owners wanted us out early they had to pay for our relocation- even help find us a new house and pay the new deposit with our old deposit! The strings attached were that I would be required to have the house in "show condition" at all times, so that any time they called they could come show the house 24 hours later. After about an hour of crying, praying, talking it out, thinking of pros and cons, and hating the whole situation, I decided to let the house go. My perfect house... with a not so perfect contract. We had a Plan B once again. A 3 bedroom, 1 bath house in Port Lavaca. 10 minutes from the beach and half the rent. Plus being so close to Victoria, hubby could live with us! So we called the landlady, who was actually also a property manager, not the owner, and she rudely informed us that we could go look at the house, but she didn't feel like driving down there so we'd have to look through the windows... which doesn't help me out at all! I'm TOTALLY a hands on kind of gal. She ALSO informed us that that house was ALSO up for sale, and there were interested buyers coming to see it later in the week, and if they were going to buy it, we had no chance. Not very comforting. She suggested to Hubby that we check in the local paper because she had seen 3 houses in there for rent. So we packed up, drove the 30 minutes to Port Lavaca, and checked the house out. Once again, looks are very deceiving. The pictures online made the driveway look super long. So very much NOT the case! My Excursion barely fit in the sucker! AND there was no central air! I loathe window units. Once again, if I HAVE to have them, I will just deal, but they seriously irritate me.
I was still heartbroken over the house in San Antonio, and was just getting used to the idea of settling for this itty bitty 788 ft2 house, when I remembered that we had slim chances of even getting into it anyway. So we grabbed a newspaper and started hunting for these houses for rent.
I called a couple, they were already gone, but they had these marvelous 3 bedroom, 1 bath mobile homes for rent for only $1100 a month!! No thanks. And it's not that I have anything against mobile homes- I have lived in 2, and am technically living in one right now... it's VERY mobile!! But the garbage they attempt to pass off down here as a livable mobile and expect people to pay their outrageous prices.... it's not even worth the gas it would have taken to drive the hour to get there from where we were. NEXT.
So Hubby found one other, a 5 bedroom, 2 bathroom house right there in Victoria. Again, the price was a bit high, but we would all fit, and Hubby could live with us- so no commuting. To my surprise the house was still available. We went and looked at it. It's an older house, which is fine by me. Large back yard that is fenced in, and even a huge side yard we are welcome to use and park our camper and trailer in so long as we mow the grass! And the landlord is a peach! Super nice guy! He even asked my opinion about the flooring! I've never given my opinion on flooring in my life- and certainly never thought I would for a rental home!
I filled out the application right away and he told us to call him Thursday morning with the results. He only really cared about verifiable income and criminal background check. Both of which we pass with flying colors. So I knew that based on his application there wasn't any reason for him to deny us. But he still could if he wanted to.
But he didn't.
And we finally have a house!!!
We can't move in until next week because the painters just got done yesterday, and he won't be able to put the carpet in until Monday or Tuesday, but we sign the lease and pay the deposit tomorrow. He's kept good communication with us about it, and wants to talk to me when we sign the lease about where the carpet should stop in the living room, and the hardwood start in the dining room, and which bedrooms I want carpet in.
So, here we are. I'll be leaving on Sunday to head to California to pick up grandpa. I'll be back by Friday or Saturday, and we might be able to get in then- if not the following week for sure. Grandpa will just have to sleep on my couch for a couple of nights if that's the case- and he's totally fine with that.
It's amazing to me that no matter how stressed out I am, no matter how many things are topsy turvy and inside out, no matter what I think is the right choice... God is always in control. He just works in his own time. Believe that it TRULY is something that for 3 months not a single house has been available to us, but we found one inside of 2 hours when God was ready to give it to us.
And my fresh start continues. I'll be able to get back to sewing more regularly. My kids can play outside. I can grow my garden. I am so very, very blessed.
Southern Texas is apparently more full of oil and other minerals than I ever knew! There's so many truckers down here moving oil from the earth to the ocean, this small city is overflowing! And most of the workers don't plan to be here for long, so they just rent houses. Many of them have homes and families in other states, whom they never get to see. But it's understandable... you've gotta go where the money is.
After our vow renewal ceremony in April, Hubby and I prayed and prayed about getting out of Montana. He had resigned from his position, which was an admirable choice in my eyes, as it saved his morals, so we were no longer tied down by his employment. And I was tired of the cold. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy winter. I do love to play in the snow with my children. But 9 months out of the year is just more than I can bare. So I was ready to head south, and Hubby was more than obliging.
Obliviously I searched the internet for jobs for him in Texas, Kansas, and even New Mexico. He had options in North Dakota, but that was Plan B, for not only would we have to continue living in Montana, he would be away from us for at least 2 weeks at a time before he could come visit. I've had my husband away from me because of work before... for very long stretches of time... I do not wish to do that anymore. If I HAVE to, I will.. but I won't like it!
Finally I found him this job. He had the qualifications, they wanted him, and even provided a relocation bonus. It was a bit further south than I was expecting to go, but I was enamored at the idea of living so close to the ocean!
Our fresh start was under way!
We know absolutely nobody in this area, and really only one person in the whole state of Texas! And I'm now 6 hours away from her! But, that's a lot better than 2 days! So a fresh start it truly was.
We moved down here in May, found a place to park our RV, and have been living out of it since. Now you will just have to imagine 5 small children, 2 adults, and 2 Saint Bernards living in an area of about 300 ft2, because trying to describe the sardine can I feel I've been living in for the last 3 months is not something I'm actually capable of doing well. I can tell you that the kids have their own room with 2 bunks and a bed on the floor at one end of the camper, and we have a queen sized bed on the opposite end, and there is a full bathroom, dining table, small couch, and tiny kitchen in the middle. Fortunately the dinette/couch are on one slide out, and the kids bedroom is also on a slide out, so it does help open it up quite a bit... which really just gives the dogs a place to lay as we step over top of them to get from one spot to another. And oh, if only they would just lay STILL!! What is it about dogs (or maybe just MY dogs) that as soon as my brain silently calculates the exact spot my foot should land so as not to step on anything but floor, it sends the signals to the muscles in my legs to move, and as I'm almost at my target THEY MOVE! Generally directly into that spot. Or I'll go to step over them as they are laying down with their heads nuzzled sweetly on the floor, and as I pass one leg over their massive bodies, they lift their heads! Or worse- attempt to stand up!!! Apollo is tall enough that when he does decide to sporadically stand up as I'm straddling him in this manner, that he actually lifts my feet from the ground. It's not a nice surprise to be walking along and then suddenly find yourself on horseback.
A couple of weeks ago hubby and I had a pretty stressful dispute. It wasn't really a fight or an argument... but he sure pissed me off. We needed a breather from one another... from the whole situation. During the 3 day breather, which actually wound up being exactly what we needed, as we have been closer than ever since then, I decided that I needed to step up my house hunting game.
Due to the influx of employees in this area, there is a housing shortage. And what houses are available are ridiculously priced. Who decided that a 2 bedroom, 1 bath apartment should be worth $1200 a month in rent? I'd sure like to punch that guy in the face. And honestly, it makes no sense to me to move my massive family into something that small for that price, when we have a perfectly good, brand spankin new camper to live in for $1000 less per month.
The beginning of the month was coming up, so I figured it was a good time to start really searching again. We had a few leads from guys he works with, and made a few dead end phone calls. Then the idea hit me to look in San Antonio, which is about 100 miles north of here. Surely there were more options in such a large city? Indeed there were. I began getting spoiled at the thought of living in such a beautiful home for a decent price. Unfortunately Hubby would have to continue living in the camper and drive up to visit on his days off.
Then a new issue came up. My grandfather, who has MS, was hospitalized. This was the first time I've known him to be in a hospital for more than an outpatient thing ... for as long as I can remember. It really worried me. Not just because of his high percentage of death. But because that high percentage of death is there, and I haven't spent enough time with him. My children haven't gotten to know him. He's all alone out there with no family and a handful of friends.
We had toyed with the idea of him moving closer to us (as there's no way either Hubby or myself could conceive of living in Southern California) but he can't handle the cold of the north. But we're not in the cold of the north anymore!
So Hubby and I talked for a few days and decided that we wanted to invite him to come live with us. We still had no home, and really no place for him to live unless we rented him an apartment, but if I could just find a house in San Antonio big enough..... So I prayed. And then I talked to him. And I decided that if this was the route God wanted us to take, grandpa would say yes. And then God would give us a suitable house. And if this was not what God wanted us to do, grandpa would say no, and we would most likely continue living in this camper until some time in 2013.
Grandpa said yes.
So the race was on to get a house. We looked at 3 in San Antonio on Saturday, and interestingly the one I had picked for my #1 choice based on what I found online became my #3 choice after we actually saw them. Indeed looks can be deceiving. My second choice was bumped up to the #1 slot, but there was still one more house to check out. I really believed it was THE ONE. I prayed and prayed, had a couple of small anxiety attacks and one stomach churning, head slamming, palm sweating huge panic attack. We were to look at the house on Tuesday. Monday night I did not sleep. The floor plan sounded perfect. The house was huge. The price, while in our higher range of affordability, was doable with a lot of penny pinching. We went and saw the house. The HOUSE WAS PERFECT. Master suite on the main floor, 2nd bedroom and 2nd bathroom on the main floor, formal dining room that would perfectly suit my homeschool room, an eat in kitchen overlooking a golf course, and then upstairs 2 more bedrooms, another full bathroom, and a loft with a closet- perfect for a craft and play room. Additionally there was a 2 car attached garage that was set up differently than most so that it didn't actually take away from the square footage of the house. The house was PERFECT. The HOA rules were annoying, but something I was willing to deal with in order to live there. The property manager promised to email me the application the following morning and it would be approved or disapproved within a day. Everything was really falling into place.
Wednesday morning she called me and informed me that she had forgotten something. The house was also up for sale. The owner was attempting to get it sold to an investor. The stipulations of the lease were that the lease had to be honored. We would either live there for the entire year, or if the new owners wanted us out early they had to pay for our relocation- even help find us a new house and pay the new deposit with our old deposit! The strings attached were that I would be required to have the house in "show condition" at all times, so that any time they called they could come show the house 24 hours later. After about an hour of crying, praying, talking it out, thinking of pros and cons, and hating the whole situation, I decided to let the house go. My perfect house... with a not so perfect contract. We had a Plan B once again. A 3 bedroom, 1 bath house in Port Lavaca. 10 minutes from the beach and half the rent. Plus being so close to Victoria, hubby could live with us! So we called the landlady, who was actually also a property manager, not the owner, and she rudely informed us that we could go look at the house, but she didn't feel like driving down there so we'd have to look through the windows... which doesn't help me out at all! I'm TOTALLY a hands on kind of gal. She ALSO informed us that that house was ALSO up for sale, and there were interested buyers coming to see it later in the week, and if they were going to buy it, we had no chance. Not very comforting. She suggested to Hubby that we check in the local paper because she had seen 3 houses in there for rent. So we packed up, drove the 30 minutes to Port Lavaca, and checked the house out. Once again, looks are very deceiving. The pictures online made the driveway look super long. So very much NOT the case! My Excursion barely fit in the sucker! AND there was no central air! I loathe window units. Once again, if I HAVE to have them, I will just deal, but they seriously irritate me.
I was still heartbroken over the house in San Antonio, and was just getting used to the idea of settling for this itty bitty 788 ft2 house, when I remembered that we had slim chances of even getting into it anyway. So we grabbed a newspaper and started hunting for these houses for rent.
I called a couple, they were already gone, but they had these marvelous 3 bedroom, 1 bath mobile homes for rent for only $1100 a month!! No thanks. And it's not that I have anything against mobile homes- I have lived in 2, and am technically living in one right now... it's VERY mobile!! But the garbage they attempt to pass off down here as a livable mobile and expect people to pay their outrageous prices.... it's not even worth the gas it would have taken to drive the hour to get there from where we were. NEXT.
So Hubby found one other, a 5 bedroom, 2 bathroom house right there in Victoria. Again, the price was a bit high, but we would all fit, and Hubby could live with us- so no commuting. To my surprise the house was still available. We went and looked at it. It's an older house, which is fine by me. Large back yard that is fenced in, and even a huge side yard we are welcome to use and park our camper and trailer in so long as we mow the grass! And the landlord is a peach! Super nice guy! He even asked my opinion about the flooring! I've never given my opinion on flooring in my life- and certainly never thought I would for a rental home!
I filled out the application right away and he told us to call him Thursday morning with the results. He only really cared about verifiable income and criminal background check. Both of which we pass with flying colors. So I knew that based on his application there wasn't any reason for him to deny us. But he still could if he wanted to.
But he didn't.
And we finally have a house!!!
We can't move in until next week because the painters just got done yesterday, and he won't be able to put the carpet in until Monday or Tuesday, but we sign the lease and pay the deposit tomorrow. He's kept good communication with us about it, and wants to talk to me when we sign the lease about where the carpet should stop in the living room, and the hardwood start in the dining room, and which bedrooms I want carpet in.
So, here we are. I'll be leaving on Sunday to head to California to pick up grandpa. I'll be back by Friday or Saturday, and we might be able to get in then- if not the following week for sure. Grandpa will just have to sleep on my couch for a couple of nights if that's the case- and he's totally fine with that.
It's amazing to me that no matter how stressed out I am, no matter how many things are topsy turvy and inside out, no matter what I think is the right choice... God is always in control. He just works in his own time. Believe that it TRULY is something that for 3 months not a single house has been available to us, but we found one inside of 2 hours when God was ready to give it to us.
And my fresh start continues. I'll be able to get back to sewing more regularly. My kids can play outside. I can grow my garden. I am so very, very blessed.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Featured Music!!!!
I would love to go to a Southern black Baptist church... JUST for the music!!!!
There is nothing like the heart and soul of a black Baptist singer coming out in their music! I just love it! Nothing gets the waterworks going, my heart beating, and my Holy Spirit moving like listening to it! And it's more black females than black males that I really love to listen to. Something about the soul that comes out in a black woman singing praises to God.... as Tommy would say "MMM, MM, MMM" - I gotta get that on video to share! LOL
So here are two songs that bring me to those same feelings. You can just really FEEL her spirit in her song... it is SO moving. I love it. Praise God!
My Redeemer Lives and When I Call on Jesus, both sung by Nicole C Mullen
Lyrics to My Redeemer Lives
Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning? and Who told the ocean you can only come this far? and Who showed the moon where to hide 'til evening? Whosse words alone can catch a falling star?
Well I know my Redeemer lives I know my Redeemer lives: Let all creations testify Let this, life within me cry I know my Redeemer lives, yeah.
The very same God that spins things in orbit runs to the weary, the worn and the weak And the same gentle hands that hold me when I'm broken They conquered death to bring me victory
Now I know my Redeemer lives I know my Redeemer lives Let all creations testify Let this life within we cry I know my Redeemer, He lives To take away my shame And He lives forever, I'll proclaim
That the payment for my sin Was the precious life He gave But now He's alive and There's an empty grave.
And I know my Redeemer lives I know my Redeemer lives Let all creations testify Let this life within me cry I know my Redeemer,
I know my Redeemer I know my Redeemer lives I know my Redeemer lives I know that I know that I know that I know that I know my redeemer lives Because He lives I can face tomorrow I Know I know He lives He lives yeah, yeah I spoke with him this morning He lives He lives, the tomb is empty
Lyrics to When I Call on Jesus
I'm so very ordinary, nothing special on my own.
Oh, I have never walked on water,
And I have never calmed a storm.
Sometimes I'm hiding away from the madness around me
Like a child who's afraid of the dark
Chorus:
But when I call on Jesus,
All things are possible
I can mount on wings like eagles' and soar
When I call on Jesus,
Mountains are gonna fall
'Cause He'll move heaven and earth to come rescue me when I call
La la la la la, la la la la la
Verse 2:
Weary brother, broken daughter,
Widowed, Widowed lover you're not alone
If you're tired and scared of the madness around you
If you can't find the strength to carry on
Chorus:
When you call on Jesus,
All things are possible
You can mount on wings like eagles' and soar
When you call on Jesus,
Mountains are gonna fall
'Cause He'll move heaven and earth to come rescue you when you--
Bridge:
Call Him in the morning', in the afternoon time
Late in the evening' He'll be there
When your heart is broken,
And you feel discouraged,
You can just remember that He said
He'll be there
Chorus (2x):
When I call on Jesus,
All things are possible
I can mount on wings like eagles' and soar
When I call on Jesus,
Mountains are gonna fall
'Cause He'll move heaven and earth to come rescue me (back to top first time, 2nd time finish with "when I call")
La la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la-a-a
There is nothing like the heart and soul of a black Baptist singer coming out in their music! I just love it! Nothing gets the waterworks going, my heart beating, and my Holy Spirit moving like listening to it! And it's more black females than black males that I really love to listen to. Something about the soul that comes out in a black woman singing praises to God.... as Tommy would say "MMM, MM, MMM" - I gotta get that on video to share! LOL
So here are two songs that bring me to those same feelings. You can just really FEEL her spirit in her song... it is SO moving. I love it. Praise God!
My Redeemer Lives and When I Call on Jesus, both sung by Nicole C Mullen
Lyrics to My Redeemer Lives
Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning? and Who told the ocean you can only come this far? and Who showed the moon where to hide 'til evening? Whosse words alone can catch a falling star?
Well I know my Redeemer lives I know my Redeemer lives: Let all creations testify Let this, life within me cry I know my Redeemer lives, yeah.
The very same God that spins things in orbit runs to the weary, the worn and the weak And the same gentle hands that hold me when I'm broken They conquered death to bring me victory
Now I know my Redeemer lives I know my Redeemer lives Let all creations testify Let this life within we cry I know my Redeemer, He lives To take away my shame And He lives forever, I'll proclaim
That the payment for my sin Was the precious life He gave But now He's alive and There's an empty grave.
And I know my Redeemer lives I know my Redeemer lives Let all creations testify Let this life within me cry I know my Redeemer,
I know my Redeemer I know my Redeemer lives I know my Redeemer lives I know that I know that I know that I know that I know my redeemer lives Because He lives I can face tomorrow I Know I know He lives He lives yeah, yeah I spoke with him this morning He lives He lives, the tomb is empty
Lyrics to When I Call on Jesus
I'm so very ordinary, nothing special on my own.
Oh, I have never walked on water,
And I have never calmed a storm.
Sometimes I'm hiding away from the madness around me
Like a child who's afraid of the dark
Chorus:
But when I call on Jesus,
All things are possible
I can mount on wings like eagles' and soar
When I call on Jesus,
Mountains are gonna fall
'Cause He'll move heaven and earth to come rescue me when I call
La la la la la, la la la la la
Verse 2:
Weary brother, broken daughter,
Widowed, Widowed lover you're not alone
If you're tired and scared of the madness around you
If you can't find the strength to carry on
Chorus:
When you call on Jesus,
All things are possible
You can mount on wings like eagles' and soar
When you call on Jesus,
Mountains are gonna fall
'Cause He'll move heaven and earth to come rescue you when you--
Bridge:
Call Him in the morning', in the afternoon time
Late in the evening' He'll be there
When your heart is broken,
And you feel discouraged,
You can just remember that He said
He'll be there
Chorus (2x):
When I call on Jesus,
All things are possible
I can mount on wings like eagles' and soar
When I call on Jesus,
Mountains are gonna fall
'Cause He'll move heaven and earth to come rescue me (back to top first time, 2nd time finish with "when I call")
La la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la-a-a
How can I sleep?
I just got home from church.
I have to admit, I have always loved going to church. I really can not remember there being a time that I fought going to church. I'm sure my mother could think of a few episodes when I was a child where a temper tantrum may have caused me to reject the thought of going. But I doubt it was actually because I didn't want to go.
I grew up in a Pentecostal church, and from what I remember we went near every Sunday morning, and many Sunday nights, the occasional Saturday night, and even a random Wednesday night here or there. I remember leaving church Sunday afternoon and driving over the Ohio River to my grandmother's house for dinner. For the last, oh, 10ish years of her life she was unable to attend church because of her back problems, for she was unable to sit for more than a few minutes at a time. Then afterward sometimes we would go back to church, and sometimes we would go on home.
Even after we stopped going to church- I do not remember why or when- I lived life for several years, then started going back to church once I settled down. And I loved it. I love feeling moved. I love praising God and learning about His word.
I struggled for a long time when we moved out here. I visited several churches, even had regular attendance at a couple for many months. But I never felt fulfilled. You see, I get excited about God. So excited that I want to talk about Him all the time. That I want to be with Godly people all the time! That I want to sing about Him and His LOVE to everyone! I want to profess my love to Him to everyone I know. I want to testify about the miracles He has made happen in my life. And share my story of how He rescued me!
But too many times I feel... alone in my excitement.
Too many times I feel held back by other people.... I can't BE excited because other people in the church don't agree. I can't spread my message because other people don't want to hear.
I wish I could figure out some way to express my feelings about God without being shunned- but rather, to have others rejoicing along side me!!!
I tell ya, I'd go to church every night if they'd let me!! And not just because I'd stay out of trouble that way ;) hehe
Luckily, Pastor Ralph just started this every other Saturday night service... hopefully if more people start coming, maybe he'll make it every Saturday night!
And I really have felt so good about this church I'm now going to. That really was a huge hole in my life for many years. It's almost nothing like the churches I went to in Kentucky, but I've learned to be OK with that and appreciate the differences.
It's kind of funny too, this church is pretty similar to a couple of the other churches here in town that I attended for a little while, only I never felt the connection with God, the Pastor, or the congregation in those other churches like I do here. Which is why I never stayed at the other ones.
So, after attending service tonight, then having a potluck dinner with a small group of the congregation with some great fellowship.... I just can't sleep!!! I'm so full of joy and love and excitement, that I'm amped up and ready for more!!
And just think.. I get to get up and go back in the morning!!!!! HALLELUJAH!! I can't wait!
Here's an old song from one of my old churches in Kentucky that I wanted to share. As much as I enjoy the new contemporary tunes, I will always love the old hymns from there.
He can say, 'Peace, be still!'
He can say, 'Peace, be still!'
When He says, 'Peace, be still!'
all the winds and the sea obey.
If there are storms in your soul
Jesus is in control
He can say, 'Peace, be still!'
to your soul.
I have to admit, I have always loved going to church. I really can not remember there being a time that I fought going to church. I'm sure my mother could think of a few episodes when I was a child where a temper tantrum may have caused me to reject the thought of going. But I doubt it was actually because I didn't want to go.
I grew up in a Pentecostal church, and from what I remember we went near every Sunday morning, and many Sunday nights, the occasional Saturday night, and even a random Wednesday night here or there. I remember leaving church Sunday afternoon and driving over the Ohio River to my grandmother's house for dinner. For the last, oh, 10ish years of her life she was unable to attend church because of her back problems, for she was unable to sit for more than a few minutes at a time. Then afterward sometimes we would go back to church, and sometimes we would go on home.
Even after we stopped going to church- I do not remember why or when- I lived life for several years, then started going back to church once I settled down. And I loved it. I love feeling moved. I love praising God and learning about His word.
I struggled for a long time when we moved out here. I visited several churches, even had regular attendance at a couple for many months. But I never felt fulfilled. You see, I get excited about God. So excited that I want to talk about Him all the time. That I want to be with Godly people all the time! That I want to sing about Him and His LOVE to everyone! I want to profess my love to Him to everyone I know. I want to testify about the miracles He has made happen in my life. And share my story of how He rescued me!
But too many times I feel... alone in my excitement.
Too many times I feel held back by other people.... I can't BE excited because other people in the church don't agree. I can't spread my message because other people don't want to hear.
I wish I could figure out some way to express my feelings about God without being shunned- but rather, to have others rejoicing along side me!!!
I tell ya, I'd go to church every night if they'd let me!! And not just because I'd stay out of trouble that way ;) hehe
Luckily, Pastor Ralph just started this every other Saturday night service... hopefully if more people start coming, maybe he'll make it every Saturday night!
And I really have felt so good about this church I'm now going to. That really was a huge hole in my life for many years. It's almost nothing like the churches I went to in Kentucky, but I've learned to be OK with that and appreciate the differences.
It's kind of funny too, this church is pretty similar to a couple of the other churches here in town that I attended for a little while, only I never felt the connection with God, the Pastor, or the congregation in those other churches like I do here. Which is why I never stayed at the other ones.
So, after attending service tonight, then having a potluck dinner with a small group of the congregation with some great fellowship.... I just can't sleep!!! I'm so full of joy and love and excitement, that I'm amped up and ready for more!!
And just think.. I get to get up and go back in the morning!!!!! HALLELUJAH!! I can't wait!
Here's an old song from one of my old churches in Kentucky that I wanted to share. As much as I enjoy the new contemporary tunes, I will always love the old hymns from there.
He can say, 'Peace, be still!'
He can say, 'Peace, be still!'
When He says, 'Peace, be still!'
all the winds and the sea obey.
If there are storms in your soul
Jesus is in control
He can say, 'Peace, be still!'
to your soul.
Friday, January 27, 2012
JUST GIVE ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really don't like whining about my husband, because 99% of the time he is awesome, and we are awesome, and he rocks my socks.
HOWEVER
If there was ONE thing that I do wish I could change about him, it would be that he can NOT give me a straight answer.
Example:
We were driving home the other night and out of the blue I asked him, "is this vow renewal ceremony something that you want to do?"
To me, this is a question requiring only a "yes" or "no" answer. And in fact, maybe I was searching for some support and encouragement... maybe something like "Yes, honey, I really want to do this too!" Because thus far I've not felt a ton of either from him.
We've talked about doing this since we actually got married, since we couldn't afford our wedding and had to get a courthouse hitch. "One day we'll have our ceremony".
This April is our 5th anniversary, and our good friend who will be performing the ceremony is deploying to Afghanistan later in April, and from what we understand it's supposed to be a pretty dangerous mission. I mean, what missions aren't dangerous, really, but on a scale of 1 to 10 this is supposed to be a 10.
So a couple of weeks ago I just decided we should just do it. Stop procrastinating, stop making excuses and just do something for ourselves that we've wanted to do for years.
I told him that, and he just said "OK".
So I asked him the other day if it really was what he wanted, and instead of "yes" or "no" what does he say?
"Isn't it a little late to be asking me this?"
To which I replied, "It's never too late. I haven't even got the invitations out yet."
You'd think he'd take that answer and then go back to the initial question and answer it, right?
NO.
He didn't.
Why would he do something like that?
No, instead he says, "Well you're doing it aren't you? And don't you think that if I didn't you wouldn't be doing it?"
OK, so yeah, that's KIND OF saying yes, but I seriously just wanted a straight answer. And I really want to know what I asked him next-
"I just want to know if you're going along with me becuase you really want to, or just because you want to make me happy."
His response?
"Of course I want to make you happy."
Soooo.. does that mean you're only going along with me because you want to make me happy and you don't really want to do this? So I ask,
"So you're only doing this with me to make me happy?"
Now he starts getting grumpy at my questions. And he comes off with something like "I just don't understand all these questions."
So I changed the subject. And I'm left feeling really frustrated and heartbroken because not only did I not get the support I was kind of looking for, I also didn't get any real answer at all.
HOWEVER
If there was ONE thing that I do wish I could change about him, it would be that he can NOT give me a straight answer.
Example:
We were driving home the other night and out of the blue I asked him, "is this vow renewal ceremony something that you want to do?"
To me, this is a question requiring only a "yes" or "no" answer. And in fact, maybe I was searching for some support and encouragement... maybe something like "Yes, honey, I really want to do this too!" Because thus far I've not felt a ton of either from him.
We've talked about doing this since we actually got married, since we couldn't afford our wedding and had to get a courthouse hitch. "One day we'll have our ceremony".
This April is our 5th anniversary, and our good friend who will be performing the ceremony is deploying to Afghanistan later in April, and from what we understand it's supposed to be a pretty dangerous mission. I mean, what missions aren't dangerous, really, but on a scale of 1 to 10 this is supposed to be a 10.
So a couple of weeks ago I just decided we should just do it. Stop procrastinating, stop making excuses and just do something for ourselves that we've wanted to do for years.
I told him that, and he just said "OK".
So I asked him the other day if it really was what he wanted, and instead of "yes" or "no" what does he say?
"Isn't it a little late to be asking me this?"
To which I replied, "It's never too late. I haven't even got the invitations out yet."
You'd think he'd take that answer and then go back to the initial question and answer it, right?
NO.
He didn't.
Why would he do something like that?
No, instead he says, "Well you're doing it aren't you? And don't you think that if I didn't you wouldn't be doing it?"
OK, so yeah, that's KIND OF saying yes, but I seriously just wanted a straight answer. And I really want to know what I asked him next-
"I just want to know if you're going along with me becuase you really want to, or just because you want to make me happy."
His response?
"Of course I want to make you happy."
Soooo.. does that mean you're only going along with me because you want to make me happy and you don't really want to do this? So I ask,
"So you're only doing this with me to make me happy?"
Now he starts getting grumpy at my questions. And he comes off with something like "I just don't understand all these questions."
So I changed the subject. And I'm left feeling really frustrated and heartbroken because not only did I not get the support I was kind of looking for, I also didn't get any real answer at all.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Boy, you've got your hands full!
And other witty comments....
It never fails. We go grocery shopping, out to eat, out to play, and I hear the inevitable, "Boy, you've got your hands full!" line at least 5 times. Or other well-meaning comments, including "Are they all yours?" and "Bet you're always busy!"
But the 'hands full' comment seems to be the most common.
And I understand that they are, in fact, not ill-willed comments. They're not bashing me for having so many children. (I have 5) But rather, they're just not sure how to comment on their bewilderment of so many younguns in one family. Especially considering mine are all 2 years apart from the next one.
And every time someone makes this particular comment, it doesn't escape their mouth as a statement- rather a question! As in, "Boy, you've got your hands full........ (right)?" The "right" is always implied, never said. Like they're wanting me to agree with them. Like they're waiting to see if I'm going to break down right there and cry exclaiming my failure and incapability as a mother, and beg them to just take one or two off my hands.
Or maybe they want to hear my "day in the life of me" story about how crazy and strenuous it was just to get these children out of bed, into the vehicle, out of the vehicle, and into the store.
Maybe they think I'm one of these awesomely sarcastic moms who will tell them a witty joke about the hilarity of motherhood. Dude, I WISH!
As silly as that sounds, it's even sillier to ME to hear that comment/question. What exactly are you expecting as a response? I have no idea. I never really know what to say. Sometimes I smile and just say "yes" just to make them feel like they're right, they know how I feel and what my day must be like dealing with ALLLL of these children.
Other times I say something like "God gave me big hands" or "My heart is even fuller" so I can leave them with that June Cleaver mushy feeling in their heart, and a tear in their eye.
Sometimes I WANT to say "I am so tired of hearing that exact same sentiment multiple times, every time I bring my children into public. SHUT UP!"
But I don't.
I don't want my kids to see me bite some stranger's head off, when said stranger has given the impression that they are being nice...
Maybe I should just wear a shirt that says "Why yes, I DO have my hands full!"
No, that wouldn't work... the Ergo or Moby would cover it up....
A sign maybe?
No, that wouldn't work either.... unless I got one of the older ones to carry it. Cause I sure couldn't juggle a sign along with the diaper bag, purse, cart, and list.
Ah, well. One day I'll figure out either how these people want me to answer them, or I'll figure out how to fend off the question before it escapes their lips. Course the latter would probably be after they've all grown up and I finally... FINALLY get to go to the store ALONE. What a glorious and sad day that will be indeed.
It never fails. We go grocery shopping, out to eat, out to play, and I hear the inevitable, "Boy, you've got your hands full!" line at least 5 times. Or other well-meaning comments, including "Are they all yours?" and "Bet you're always busy!"
But the 'hands full' comment seems to be the most common.
And I understand that they are, in fact, not ill-willed comments. They're not bashing me for having so many children. (I have 5) But rather, they're just not sure how to comment on their bewilderment of so many younguns in one family. Especially considering mine are all 2 years apart from the next one.
And every time someone makes this particular comment, it doesn't escape their mouth as a statement- rather a question! As in, "Boy, you've got your hands full........ (right)?" The "right" is always implied, never said. Like they're wanting me to agree with them. Like they're waiting to see if I'm going to break down right there and cry exclaiming my failure and incapability as a mother, and beg them to just take one or two off my hands.
Or maybe they want to hear my "day in the life of me" story about how crazy and strenuous it was just to get these children out of bed, into the vehicle, out of the vehicle, and into the store.
Maybe they think I'm one of these awesomely sarcastic moms who will tell them a witty joke about the hilarity of motherhood. Dude, I WISH!
As silly as that sounds, it's even sillier to ME to hear that comment/question. What exactly are you expecting as a response? I have no idea. I never really know what to say. Sometimes I smile and just say "yes" just to make them feel like they're right, they know how I feel and what my day must be like dealing with ALLLL of these children.
Other times I say something like "God gave me big hands" or "My heart is even fuller" so I can leave them with that June Cleaver mushy feeling in their heart, and a tear in their eye.
Sometimes I WANT to say "I am so tired of hearing that exact same sentiment multiple times, every time I bring my children into public. SHUT UP!"
But I don't.
I don't want my kids to see me bite some stranger's head off, when said stranger has given the impression that they are being nice...
Maybe I should just wear a shirt that says "Why yes, I DO have my hands full!"
No, that wouldn't work... the Ergo or Moby would cover it up....
A sign maybe?
No, that wouldn't work either.... unless I got one of the older ones to carry it. Cause I sure couldn't juggle a sign along with the diaper bag, purse, cart, and list.
Ah, well. One day I'll figure out either how these people want me to answer them, or I'll figure out how to fend off the question before it escapes their lips. Course the latter would probably be after they've all grown up and I finally... FINALLY get to go to the store ALONE. What a glorious and sad day that will be indeed.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
To have a gift is a wonderful thing, your spirit will lift and your heart will sing
I just want to know what it's for.
That's part of a song from a Veggie Tale's movie- "Lord of the Beans", a play off "Lord of the Rings".
I love the LTR trilogy, but this little spoof is wonderful as well! Who am I kidding? I love all things Veggie Tales!
Anyway, the point of the movie is Toto Baggypants is given a gift of a magical bean that can grant any wish. And throughout the movie he is trying to find out what his gift is for, so he can use it wisely. All the while the Dark Lord Scaryman is trying to steal it from him, with his evil minions- the Sporks!
The movie is adorable, hilarious, and thought provoking.
Pair it with my Pastor's message about using our gifts the way God wants us to, and you come to this post...
Something I've been thinking about for a very long time.
I know I have a few talents. A few skills. A few hobbies.
But how could any of those be used to glorify God?
I just don't know.
I don't feel like I'm the kind of person that will be sending dresses to Africa. I'm more of a community helper than a missionary. I suppose if God REALLY wants me to do this, then I would, but it's just not my style.
I can't see how sewing something for a family in need is going to be helpful. I can't afford to build a cloth diaper stash for a needy family, especially when there's no guarantee they'll even use them.
I don't want to better my crocheting skills to make hats for infants- not because I have anything against it, I just don't really enjoy crocheting... or knitting for that matter.
I have other skills besides crafting, but again, I'm just not sure how I'm supposed to use them FOR God.
Kinda makes me feel lost.
That's part of a song from a Veggie Tale's movie- "Lord of the Beans", a play off "Lord of the Rings".
I love the LTR trilogy, but this little spoof is wonderful as well! Who am I kidding? I love all things Veggie Tales!
Anyway, the point of the movie is Toto Baggypants is given a gift of a magical bean that can grant any wish. And throughout the movie he is trying to find out what his gift is for, so he can use it wisely. All the while the Dark Lord Scaryman is trying to steal it from him, with his evil minions- the Sporks!
The movie is adorable, hilarious, and thought provoking.
Pair it with my Pastor's message about using our gifts the way God wants us to, and you come to this post...
Something I've been thinking about for a very long time.
What is my gift that God wants me to use for others?
I know I have a few talents. A few skills. A few hobbies.
But how could any of those be used to glorify God?
I just don't know.
I don't feel like I'm the kind of person that will be sending dresses to Africa. I'm more of a community helper than a missionary. I suppose if God REALLY wants me to do this, then I would, but it's just not my style.
I can't see how sewing something for a family in need is going to be helpful. I can't afford to build a cloth diaper stash for a needy family, especially when there's no guarantee they'll even use them.
I don't want to better my crocheting skills to make hats for infants- not because I have anything against it, I just don't really enjoy crocheting... or knitting for that matter.
I have other skills besides crafting, but again, I'm just not sure how I'm supposed to use them FOR God.
Kinda makes me feel lost.
Monday, January 23, 2012
I hate my vacuum
We have 2 dogs. 2 Saint Bernards.
Apollo, who you know:
and Lucy, our new addition:
I was vacuuming about once a day with just Apollo, sometimes I could get away with 2, but you definitely noticed it! And since we've adopted Lucy, once, sometimes twice a day, I am vacuuming.
Which I really don't mind! 7 loves the vacuum! I mean, I was vacuuming almost daily while she was in utero, and even 20 minutes before she was born, during contractions, I was vacuuming. So it's a noise she is used to, and actually will fall asleep to. And it's not a chore I mind at all. I actually enjoy it to be honest. Compared to all the rest of my chores, vacuuming is definitely the main one I'll do without a grimace.
But I hate my vacuum.
It's not even 2 years old and I hate it. Its job performance is mediocre at best. If I didn't have a dog, it might work great. But I do. And it doesn't.
It's pretty bad when I run my carpet cleaner and it pulls up as much dog hair as the vacuum does.... and leaves it in nice little clumps all over the place, that I have to go back over with the vacuum, or pick up by hand.
Sometimes I fantasize about ripping it all up and going down to wood... but I've had wood floors before, and in Montana, it just doesn't work for ME. I can't handle the ice cold floors. No matter how pretty they are. And I can't handle my toddling crawlers, learning how to move around and pulling themselves up, falling over and clunking their heads on solid wood. No matter how allergen free they are.
So, I guess until I either get a much better vacuum, or a hardwood floor heater, I'm just going to have to hate the yellow beast.
Apollo, who you know:
and Lucy, our new addition:
I was vacuuming about once a day with just Apollo, sometimes I could get away with 2, but you definitely noticed it! And since we've adopted Lucy, once, sometimes twice a day, I am vacuuming.
Which I really don't mind! 7 loves the vacuum! I mean, I was vacuuming almost daily while she was in utero, and even 20 minutes before she was born, during contractions, I was vacuuming. So it's a noise she is used to, and actually will fall asleep to. And it's not a chore I mind at all. I actually enjoy it to be honest. Compared to all the rest of my chores, vacuuming is definitely the main one I'll do without a grimace.
But I hate my vacuum.
It's not even 2 years old and I hate it. Its job performance is mediocre at best. If I didn't have a dog, it might work great. But I do. And it doesn't.
It's pretty bad when I run my carpet cleaner and it pulls up as much dog hair as the vacuum does.... and leaves it in nice little clumps all over the place, that I have to go back over with the vacuum, or pick up by hand.
Sometimes I fantasize about ripping it all up and going down to wood... but I've had wood floors before, and in Montana, it just doesn't work for ME. I can't handle the ice cold floors. No matter how pretty they are. And I can't handle my toddling crawlers, learning how to move around and pulling themselves up, falling over and clunking their heads on solid wood. No matter how allergen free they are.
So, I guess until I either get a much better vacuum, or a hardwood floor heater, I'm just going to have to hate the yellow beast.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Why do I care?
I remember being told not long ago, "I'm trying to figure out why you care."
The comment came at me based on a discussion about my feelings on formula being made 'by prescription only'. Now- this post isn't about that specific subject, so don't fret. I'm not going to talk about that really at all. But rather, the 'why' I care.
And I answer that now with a return question-
Why does anyone care about anything not directly affecting or concerning them?
Why should American's care about disasters in other countries? It doesn't affect us.
Why should breastfeeding mothers nationwide care about the one woman at Target who was asked to leave because she was nursing in public? It didn't affect them!
Why should inactivists care who chooses to circumcise their son? It's not their child, it's not their penis.
Why should pro-lifers care about the baby that is aborted? It's not their baby, it's not their body.
Why do Christians care whether or not other people are saved? They're going to heaven, so who cares if anyone else does?
Why should I care what another mother feeds her baby? It's not my baby.
And what steps are we taking to make things we care about go 'our way'?
Sending people to other countries to help them rebuild, and asking congress to send money to aid as well.
Having nurse-ins at Targets nationwide to raise awareness that nursing in public is OK, and asking lawmakers to pass laws protecting breastfeeding mothers.
Spreading information about the dangers of circumcision, and asking insurance companies to stop covering the procedure.
Protesting abortion clinics, and asking lawmakers to make it an illegal procedure as well as congress to no longer provide funding to the clinics.
Sharing the word, testifying about the miracles we've seen or had happen in our lives, and asking God to save their souls.
Petitioning lawmakers to make formula 'by prescription only', and forcing doctors to inform parents about the dangers of their choice.
So why is my thing I care about any less important than these other things other people care about?
Surely there is something that YOU care about, even if it doesn't directly affect you, that makes you stand against the wind and protest!
But why?
Why do YOU care? Why do I care?
It's because we see an injustice being done. We see uneducated choices being made. We see something that feels or looks wrong to us, and we want to help make it right.
So to answer the above questions more specifically-
Why should American's care about disasters in other countries? It doesn't affect us.
-Because we see the pain and horror of the destruction and death and we feel sympathy.
Why should breastfeeding mothers nationwide care about the one woman at Target who was asked to leave because she was nursing in public? It didn't affect them!
-Because it is an injustice that she was harassed, and Target needs to train their employees to keep their mouths shut.
Why should inactivists care who chooses to circumcise their son? It's not their child, it's not their penis.
-Because it is that baby's body, not yours, and HIS choice to decide whether or not to perform life altering, cosmetic surgery on him- NOT YOURS.
Why should pro-lifers care about the baby that is aborted? It's not their baby, it's not their body.
-Because it is that baby's life, not yours to choose whether it lives or dies. If you didn't want to get pregnant, you should not have had sex.
Why do Christians care whether or not other people are saved? They're going to heaven, so who cares if anyone else does?
-Because we care about all people, just as Jesus did. And we want all people to be saved and go to Heaven, and reap the benefits of life after death.
Why should I care what another mother feeds her baby? It's not my baby.
-Because formula companies are only in it for the money, not for the love of feeding a child. So they make mistakes. They put crap in their product that is unhealthy for babies- even dangerous. And so many moms simply have no idea. They don't realize what they are putting in their children, and, according to doctors it's perfectly safe- sometimes even better, because they can measure it.
No matter the topic, I think everyone should care about something enough to fight for it.
And NOT be told they are 'wasting their precious time'. If it's time spent doing something I feel is important, why is it a waste?
God fitted us with compassion and mercy. And I believe He wants us to use those tools to help others.
And I think I, for one, am going to continue attempting to educate people on these things. And I am going to continue petitioning our lawmakers to make changes.
And you should too.
The comment came at me based on a discussion about my feelings on formula being made 'by prescription only'. Now- this post isn't about that specific subject, so don't fret. I'm not going to talk about that really at all. But rather, the 'why' I care.
And I answer that now with a return question-
Why does anyone care about anything not directly affecting or concerning them?
Why should American's care about disasters in other countries? It doesn't affect us.
Why should breastfeeding mothers nationwide care about the one woman at Target who was asked to leave because she was nursing in public? It didn't affect them!
Why should inactivists care who chooses to circumcise their son? It's not their child, it's not their penis.
Why should pro-lifers care about the baby that is aborted? It's not their baby, it's not their body.
Why do Christians care whether or not other people are saved? They're going to heaven, so who cares if anyone else does?
Why should I care what another mother feeds her baby? It's not my baby.
And what steps are we taking to make things we care about go 'our way'?
Sending people to other countries to help them rebuild, and asking congress to send money to aid as well.
Having nurse-ins at Targets nationwide to raise awareness that nursing in public is OK, and asking lawmakers to pass laws protecting breastfeeding mothers.
Spreading information about the dangers of circumcision, and asking insurance companies to stop covering the procedure.
Protesting abortion clinics, and asking lawmakers to make it an illegal procedure as well as congress to no longer provide funding to the clinics.
Sharing the word, testifying about the miracles we've seen or had happen in our lives, and asking God to save their souls.
Petitioning lawmakers to make formula 'by prescription only', and forcing doctors to inform parents about the dangers of their choice.
So why is my thing I care about any less important than these other things other people care about?
Surely there is something that YOU care about, even if it doesn't directly affect you, that makes you stand against the wind and protest!
But why?
Why do YOU care? Why do I care?
It's because we see an injustice being done. We see uneducated choices being made. We see something that feels or looks wrong to us, and we want to help make it right.
So to answer the above questions more specifically-
Why should American's care about disasters in other countries? It doesn't affect us.
-Because we see the pain and horror of the destruction and death and we feel sympathy.
Why should breastfeeding mothers nationwide care about the one woman at Target who was asked to leave because she was nursing in public? It didn't affect them!
-Because it is an injustice that she was harassed, and Target needs to train their employees to keep their mouths shut.
Why should inactivists care who chooses to circumcise their son? It's not their child, it's not their penis.
-Because it is that baby's body, not yours, and HIS choice to decide whether or not to perform life altering, cosmetic surgery on him- NOT YOURS.
Why should pro-lifers care about the baby that is aborted? It's not their baby, it's not their body.
-Because it is that baby's life, not yours to choose whether it lives or dies. If you didn't want to get pregnant, you should not have had sex.
Why do Christians care whether or not other people are saved? They're going to heaven, so who cares if anyone else does?
-Because we care about all people, just as Jesus did. And we want all people to be saved and go to Heaven, and reap the benefits of life after death.
Why should I care what another mother feeds her baby? It's not my baby.
-Because formula companies are only in it for the money, not for the love of feeding a child. So they make mistakes. They put crap in their product that is unhealthy for babies- even dangerous. And so many moms simply have no idea. They don't realize what they are putting in their children, and, according to doctors it's perfectly safe- sometimes even better, because they can measure it.
No matter the topic, I think everyone should care about something enough to fight for it.
And NOT be told they are 'wasting their precious time'. If it's time spent doing something I feel is important, why is it a waste?
God fitted us with compassion and mercy. And I believe He wants us to use those tools to help others.
And I think I, for one, am going to continue attempting to educate people on these things. And I am going to continue petitioning our lawmakers to make changes.
And you should too.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Post 100!
And it's MLK Day!
I, for one, am very proud to be living in a free, unsegregated country.
There's a lot of things to complain about in this country. There's a lot of crap the government does that makes me mad.
But thanks to our forefathers, and our soldiers, I have the freedom to say so! I can say "Obamacare is bullcrap" and not fear going to prison or death- or even persecution from the government!
And because of this free land, Martin Luther King Jr. was also able to speak out and gain the freedom all AMERICANS deserve- whether they are black, brown, white, red, or yellow.
I thank him for not stopping his fight. I thank him for not backing down when ignorant people tried to stop him. I thank him that I can raise my children in a country that they know all people are created equal in the eyes of the Lord, and they can see that for themselves because they are unsegregated.
It actually makes me sad when I see African Americans segregating themselves. It used to happen a lot in school. I grew up in Kentucky, where there was a much larger percentage of black people than here in Montana. I would get on the bus, or go to the lunch room, and all of the black people were clustered together at the back of the bus, or in one corner of the lunch room. I have sometimes thought to myself- all of the hard work and struggle and torture people like Rosa Parks endured to NOT have to sit in the back of the bus... all for nothing.
I understand 'cliques' and wanting to be with people you have things in common with, but I guess it just made me sad that it felt like they didn't want to be blended with the white population.
Fortunately, at least we all share the same water fountains, bathrooms, schools, and parks. And my children don't have to worry about the problems they could face for having colored friends. They have the benefit of learning that people are just.... people.
And God loves all of us.
I, for one, am very proud to be living in a free, unsegregated country.
There's a lot of things to complain about in this country. There's a lot of crap the government does that makes me mad.
But thanks to our forefathers, and our soldiers, I have the freedom to say so! I can say "Obamacare is bullcrap" and not fear going to prison or death- or even persecution from the government!
And because of this free land, Martin Luther King Jr. was also able to speak out and gain the freedom all AMERICANS deserve- whether they are black, brown, white, red, or yellow.
I thank him for not stopping his fight. I thank him for not backing down when ignorant people tried to stop him. I thank him that I can raise my children in a country that they know all people are created equal in the eyes of the Lord, and they can see that for themselves because they are unsegregated.
It actually makes me sad when I see African Americans segregating themselves. It used to happen a lot in school. I grew up in Kentucky, where there was a much larger percentage of black people than here in Montana. I would get on the bus, or go to the lunch room, and all of the black people were clustered together at the back of the bus, or in one corner of the lunch room. I have sometimes thought to myself- all of the hard work and struggle and torture people like Rosa Parks endured to NOT have to sit in the back of the bus... all for nothing.
I understand 'cliques' and wanting to be with people you have things in common with, but I guess it just made me sad that it felt like they didn't want to be blended with the white population.
Fortunately, at least we all share the same water fountains, bathrooms, schools, and parks. And my children don't have to worry about the problems they could face for having colored friends. They have the benefit of learning that people are just.... people.
And God loves all of us.
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