Peace, at last!

Last night, after I was exhausted with an immature 'who can have the last word' game with my ex, I wrote him a very long letter and then re-blocked him on Facebook. In my letter, I had an epiphany.

He and I have gone to court for 2 really big issues, and both times I didn't get what I wanted. Both times, the judge was lenient to him. I admit, the last time he was also very good to me, but I was selfishly mad that he gave him what he did. But the first time, I felt completely screwed over.

So in my exasperation last night, I had a realization.

I simply haven't been putting enough faith in God.

No, I didn't get what I wanted the first time, and I was really upset at the judge because she was very mean to me, and yes she babied him, regardless of whether he deserved it or not, however, in the long run, it worked out in my favor. You see, since he still owed me so much in back support, I wound up getting his federal tax return in 2010. And it came 1 week before we went on vacation to visit my friend, right when we REALLY could use it.
And no, I didn't get what I wanted the last time we went to court either, in fact, I really felt like the judge gave him a little extra, BUT I also didn't have to go back to KY to go to court like he wanted, the judge allowed me to attend over the phone. I also didn't have to pay $500 in court costs like he wanted, the judge waived that.  And, I also didn't have to go to jail for 30 days like he wanted- the judge waived that as well.

So, while I didn't get exactly what I wanted at the time, in the long run, it all worked out in my favor. It took a few years for the plan to work out, and for me to realize all of this, but I do see it now.
And now I have peace.

I no longer am stressed about this situation. I see now that no matter what the judge rules this time around, it is going to work out for the big picture. Even if we don't get exactly what we want from the judge, I now understand that God has such a greater plan than I even know. And I need to stop being selfish.

If we win, we will praise him.
If we lose, we will praise him.

God knows what's best for me, and my daughter. God will take care of us.
I feel so good right now. There's 1000 lbs that have been lifted from my shoulders. And I'm not mad anymore.
Hallelujah.