January 6, 2011

Well, today sucked. I completely and totally felt like crap today. I didn't leave my bed until my husband came home from work around 4:00. Aside from, of course, chasing the baby, changing his diaper, going to the bathroom, and helping my daughter make the kids lunch. She's getting so independent, she loves to make Ramen noodles for her and the boys, and can do it unsupervised. I just have to be there to occasionally referee the 3 year old. Sometimes she feels like since she's in charge of their lunch, that means it's time for her to be 'the boss' and I have to deter that behavior. In my opinion, it's not her place to make sure the boys pray for their food, but she tends to feel like it is. She tries hard to be a 'big sister' but sometimes just oversteps her boundaries, which is her 'mama hen' personality coming out.

So what do I do with the kids while I'm in bed all day? Easy- they stay in there with me watching movies! They go into their bedrooms and play when they want, as they are independent enough to play unsupervised, but still attached enough to mommy they want to hang out with me and watch movies vegging all day. I'm sure it's a nice reprieve from all the chores I've been making them do the last week.

We were supposed to have chili tonight for dinner, per my menu. But, alas, I didn't get up and cook the deer meat, so we're having tacos and burritos instead, sans lettuce or tomato. The kids don't like those two additions anyway, and daddy and I have home made salsa, so we will survive.

I hate when I feel like I did today. My tummy and back hurt a little bit, but not enough to justify me laying there all day, but it sure didn't keep me from using those excuses when the kids asked me what was wrong. The bottom line is I just felt miserable. I'm not sure if it was depression or not, cause I didn't really FEEL anything. Not sad or upset or any of the other horrible things I feel sometimes, just overall blah. No motivation to bother with chores or a shower or getting dressed, or getting out of bed.

But, I'm up now, sitting here while Sissy grates the rest of the cheese so we can eat dinner. Luckily tacos / burritos just don't take a lot of time or energy to make. Thank God for small favors.