A friend of mine wrote a paper for college a few days ago and shared a paragraph with me. In that paragraph she mentioned the overpopulation of the world. Her main point was talking about the carbon footprint the overpopulation has on the planet, but for some reason that word 'overpopulation' bothered me.
It bothered me because it made me feel guilty.
I feel guilty because I have 5 children.
Now, why should that make me feel guilty? Like I'm doing something wrong for having a big family? And if I'm wrong, I know many many other families who are wrong as well.
I know there are so very, very many children that need homes. So many children would love to live in a house, have a mother and father who love them, have heat when they are cold, have food when they are hungry...
It angers me that I feel guilty.
It angers me that I WANTED to adopt, WE wanted to adopt. We wanted to adopt special needs children. Children who have physical or mental disorders and needed more compassion, love, understanding, and care than a 'typical' child. https://apps.chfs.ky.gov/snap/ THESE children.
But we didn't qualify. We didn't have a large enough household income. My husband couldn't stop getting laid off long enough. We weren't married long enough. We didn't have enough money saved up to 'buy' a child. Hubby couldn't get off work for the required classes.
It angers me that we WANTED to foster. We wanted to open our home to children who were ripped from theirs. We wanted to show them that they could be loved, that life wasn't over... that there was a chance for them.
But we didn't qualify. We didn't qualify because our children are not vaccinated. According to the women in charge of the class I attended to become licensed to foster, my children not being vaccinated put the children who were in the custody of the state at risk. I'm still trying to wrap my head around that.
So here I have this huge heart, a yearning to love children who need more than anything to just BE loved.
A home suitable for children, and a household income to provide for children. Yet the only way for me to have children is to have them myself. No household requirements. No income requirements. No classes to take. Nobody to please. Just my husband and I, making babies the good ole fashioned way.
And that makes me feel guilty, which makes me feel angry.
Why are the rules so strict for people who want to grow our family with children who came from other birth mothers, yet there were no standards for that birth mother-after all, that's unconstitutional. I'm certainly not saying there should be rules or requirements for pregnancy. I'm certainly not saying there should be a limit to how many children we have. I'm just saying if overpopulation is such an issue, then they should make giving those children homes easier.
Any day can be a good day if it has babies, baking, or Adam Sandler!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Men Vs Women. The stay at home debate.
I'm a stay at home mom. I have been for just over 4 years. I worked full time when my first two children were babies, but I was unmarried, therefore qualified for daycare assistance. I worked a little during my third pregnancy, but became very ill, and had to quit. Then hubs and I decided it was time to just get married at the court house instead of continuing to wait and attempt to save for our church wedding. I could see it wasn't going to happen any time soon- especially with a third mouth to feed. So we got married on April 2nd, which added his income to my household, and disqualified me for daycare assistance. Aside from the huge cost of daycare, I was so sick there was no way I could even consider going back into the work force.
So, SAHM I stayed!
Since then we've had 1 more child, and the whole time I've managed to hold down the fort, especially since we moved up here to Montana. Hubs has worked at his job since we've been here, and been gone 14 hours a day every day he goes in. And the whole time I manage to control the household- to a degree. A livable, unorganized amount of control, but an amount that I could handle.
When it's time to go somewhere, I get all 4 of the kids dressed, if hubs is coming, I usually lay his clothes out too, and then get myself dressed. I pack the diaper bag, I gather whatever we need to take with us- wallets, sippy cups, fruit to snack on, grocery list, whatever it happens to be. Basically all my husband has to do it get his clothes on, grab his wallet and keys, and get in the car, as I usually get them packed in by myself when he's at work, or he'll put Tommy in his car seat while I help the older ones strap in.
Now, I manage to do all this, whether he is at home or not. Usually within 30-45 minutes. I try to get started about an hour before we have to leave, but that really depends on how much work I need to do to get out the door. Sometimes I get hubs to help me put Tommy's clothes on him, but I pick them out and give them to Tommy to take to daddy.
So why is it that he is not capable of the same thing?
I had a doctors appointment the other day and it was a little later in the afternoon. My appointments are in the big city, so I have about an hour drive to get from driveway to doctor. I told him, before I left, that he may have to take Sissy to cheerleading practice that night, if I didn't make it back in time. After my appointment I had a few errands I needed to run, so I knew there was a good chance I wouldn't make it back in time.
I went to my doctor, started out on my errands, and called him at about 3:30. She needed to be there at 5, and I still had stuff to do... it wasn't looking like I was coming home before 5.
Now, let me just clarify, nothing he had to do was complex. Get 3 children dressed, and tell 1 child to get her clothes on. For the most part, the two older boys know where their clothes are and can get them on themselves as well, so even that part is not a huge process. Then pack 4 children in the car, drive 2 minutes, and drop one off. Drive 2 minutes home, unpack children, wait for mommy to get home. So, just so we're clear here- I didn't ask him to do too much, did I?
Also, let me add, the man is NOT an idiot. He's not dumb in ANY way. The man could take a car apart and put it back together. He can draw out a plan to build just about anything, then follow through with the plan. He knows more about fabrication, welding, mechanics, and construction than any person I've ever known. So why is getting 4 children out the door so hard for him?
He can tell you statistics on vehicles from memory- not just make, model, and year, but engine size, horsepower, if they only came in 2 door or if there was a 4-door option. He can weld almost any two materials together, and those that he can't he can tell you how to do it, or why it can't be done. He was in the navy for 12 years and can recall details about a submarine or a ship from stern to stem, inside and out. So why is it he can't remember where his own children's socks are at?
He calls me at 4:45 to ask me where I am. I just left the post office, still in the city. One more quick stop and I'm ready to come home.
"Well I guess I need to get the kids ready to go then, huh?"
Needless to say, Sissy was 20 minutes late to practice.
And what's worse?
I pulled in the driveway at 6:10. As I hit park, I saw the reverse lights come on in the car. He was JUST leaving to go get her. Practice was over at 6.
Let me 'disclaim' here- this blog is NOT about drama. It's not a place for me to come and vent about crap daily. It's gonna happen, it's life. But I didn't create this blog to have a hidden place to complain about people- my husband included.
99% of the time my husband is the best man I've ever known. He's the best daddy, the best husband, and best friend I could ever have. BUT, like all humans, occasionally he screws up. And when it comes to doing my job, well, the screw ups are pretty big.
So, do I think a man can do a woman's job? Can a man be a stay at home dad?
Maybe. Maybe some men can.
Just not my man.
So, SAHM I stayed!
Since then we've had 1 more child, and the whole time I've managed to hold down the fort, especially since we moved up here to Montana. Hubs has worked at his job since we've been here, and been gone 14 hours a day every day he goes in. And the whole time I manage to control the household- to a degree. A livable, unorganized amount of control, but an amount that I could handle.
When it's time to go somewhere, I get all 4 of the kids dressed, if hubs is coming, I usually lay his clothes out too, and then get myself dressed. I pack the diaper bag, I gather whatever we need to take with us- wallets, sippy cups, fruit to snack on, grocery list, whatever it happens to be. Basically all my husband has to do it get his clothes on, grab his wallet and keys, and get in the car, as I usually get them packed in by myself when he's at work, or he'll put Tommy in his car seat while I help the older ones strap in.
Now, I manage to do all this, whether he is at home or not. Usually within 30-45 minutes. I try to get started about an hour before we have to leave, but that really depends on how much work I need to do to get out the door. Sometimes I get hubs to help me put Tommy's clothes on him, but I pick them out and give them to Tommy to take to daddy.
So why is it that he is not capable of the same thing?
I had a doctors appointment the other day and it was a little later in the afternoon. My appointments are in the big city, so I have about an hour drive to get from driveway to doctor. I told him, before I left, that he may have to take Sissy to cheerleading practice that night, if I didn't make it back in time. After my appointment I had a few errands I needed to run, so I knew there was a good chance I wouldn't make it back in time.
I went to my doctor, started out on my errands, and called him at about 3:30. She needed to be there at 5, and I still had stuff to do... it wasn't looking like I was coming home before 5.
Now, let me just clarify, nothing he had to do was complex. Get 3 children dressed, and tell 1 child to get her clothes on. For the most part, the two older boys know where their clothes are and can get them on themselves as well, so even that part is not a huge process. Then pack 4 children in the car, drive 2 minutes, and drop one off. Drive 2 minutes home, unpack children, wait for mommy to get home. So, just so we're clear here- I didn't ask him to do too much, did I?
Also, let me add, the man is NOT an idiot. He's not dumb in ANY way. The man could take a car apart and put it back together. He can draw out a plan to build just about anything, then follow through with the plan. He knows more about fabrication, welding, mechanics, and construction than any person I've ever known. So why is getting 4 children out the door so hard for him?
He can tell you statistics on vehicles from memory- not just make, model, and year, but engine size, horsepower, if they only came in 2 door or if there was a 4-door option. He can weld almost any two materials together, and those that he can't he can tell you how to do it, or why it can't be done. He was in the navy for 12 years and can recall details about a submarine or a ship from stern to stem, inside and out. So why is it he can't remember where his own children's socks are at?
He calls me at 4:45 to ask me where I am. I just left the post office, still in the city. One more quick stop and I'm ready to come home.
"Well I guess I need to get the kids ready to go then, huh?"
Needless to say, Sissy was 20 minutes late to practice.
And what's worse?
I pulled in the driveway at 6:10. As I hit park, I saw the reverse lights come on in the car. He was JUST leaving to go get her. Practice was over at 6.
Let me 'disclaim' here- this blog is NOT about drama. It's not a place for me to come and vent about crap daily. It's gonna happen, it's life. But I didn't create this blog to have a hidden place to complain about people- my husband included.
99% of the time my husband is the best man I've ever known. He's the best daddy, the best husband, and best friend I could ever have. BUT, like all humans, occasionally he screws up. And when it comes to doing my job, well, the screw ups are pretty big.
So, do I think a man can do a woman's job? Can a man be a stay at home dad?
Maybe. Maybe some men can.
Just not my man.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
7's Featured Music This Week
I've been struggling to choose a song to share this week. I haven't really listened to much music in the last couple of days, so nothing felt really inspiring.
Until today.
I had a doctors appointment in the city today, so that's about an hour drive there, and another hour home.
NORMALLY I listen to kLove, a national Christian radio station. But I took the minivan today instead of the car, and the minivan has become daddy's work transportation instead of the family vehicle, so it was tuned to an old rock station. I do enjoy about 90% of old rock. There's a few particular artists I can live without, but for the most part the average hour of song listening I not only enjoy, but can sing along to.
After listening for about 20 minutes headed down the highway, the following song came on, and I just about had to pull over because I became so emotionally overwhelmed I thought I was going to break down crying.
The song is called: Cat's In the Cradle, originally by Harry Chapin. (It's been covered by many artists, including Johnny Cash, Ugly Kid Joe, and more I'm sure.)
Lyrics:
My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch
And bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talking 'fore I knew it
And as he grew
He'd say, 'I'm gonna be like you, dad
you know I'm gonna be like you'
Chorus 1:
And the cat's in the cradle, and the silver spoon
Little boy blue, and the man in the moon
When you comin' home, dad, I don't know when
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then
My son turned 10 just the other day
He said, 'Thanks for the ball, dad,
come on, let's play.
Can you teach me to throw?"
I said, "Not today, I got a lot to do."
He said, "That's OK"
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed, and said
"I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him."
Chorus 1:
And the cat's in the cradle, and the silver spoon
Little boy blue, and the man in the moon
When you comin' home, dad, I don't know when
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then
Well he came from college just the other day
So much like a man, I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head, and he said with a smile
"What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys.
See you later, can I have them please?"
Chorus 2:
And the cat's in the cradle, and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue, and the man in the moon
When you comin' home, son, I don't know when
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then
I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you, if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time.
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kids have the flu.
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad.
It's been sure nice talking to you."
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.
Chorus 2
And the cat's in the cradle, and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue, and the man in the moon
When you comin' home, son, I don't know when
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then
If you're a parent, or if you had a parent who couldn't be there for you 100% of the time as a child, you can probably imagine why I got so emotional.
We're expecting our 5th child in about 10 weeks. That means I currently have to split my time between 4 children, and soon, with an infant, who is going to consume more time than any of the older ones. And 1/5 the money to spend on each of them for their birthdays and Christmas's.
I sometimes wonder if it's fair to my older children that we continue growing our family. So I try very hard to do special things with each child, and give each child the chance to be involved in activities once they are old enough to do so. And very very fortunately, their daddy is the same way. He tries hard to spend as much time as he can with them when he's not working. We plan fun trips together specifically for the enjoyment of the children, he makes every ball game he can- work permitting. We go camping/RVing, fishing, boating, and do other small vacations when we can. Last year we drove out to Kentucky, this year we'd like to go to the Grand Canyon. Here shortly we're planning on going to Salt Lake City to Disney on Ice. So we try to do what we can to make what time we do have with our children memorable and exciting.
Unfortunately we're a blue collar family. I'm working to build the doggy spa, and Daisies, so that we can have a little extra income to, at some point, own our own business. But in the mean time, daddy has to work to pay bills, feed his family, and pay for those fun trips we love to take. Thankfully, the children understand that daddy has to go to work. The younger ones don't really understand WHY yet, but they will. Our daughter does. She knows that without daddy working she doesn't get to eat, she doesn't get toys or new clothes. So she enjoys the times she gets to snuggle on the couch with daddy, or work out in the garage with him.
And I'm so blessed to have a husband who does his best to make time for his children like he does. Yes, life is busy. Yes, he has to work long hours, and doesn't always get to make every game, but he makes it count when he can be there. God really gave me a good man to be these babies' father.
Until today.
I had a doctors appointment in the city today, so that's about an hour drive there, and another hour home.
NORMALLY I listen to kLove, a national Christian radio station. But I took the minivan today instead of the car, and the minivan has become daddy's work transportation instead of the family vehicle, so it was tuned to an old rock station. I do enjoy about 90% of old rock. There's a few particular artists I can live without, but for the most part the average hour of song listening I not only enjoy, but can sing along to.
After listening for about 20 minutes headed down the highway, the following song came on, and I just about had to pull over because I became so emotionally overwhelmed I thought I was going to break down crying.
The song is called: Cat's In the Cradle, originally by Harry Chapin. (It's been covered by many artists, including Johnny Cash, Ugly Kid Joe, and more I'm sure.)
Lyrics:
My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch
And bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talking 'fore I knew it
And as he grew
He'd say, 'I'm gonna be like you, dad
you know I'm gonna be like you'
Chorus 1:
And the cat's in the cradle, and the silver spoon
Little boy blue, and the man in the moon
When you comin' home, dad, I don't know when
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then
My son turned 10 just the other day
He said, 'Thanks for the ball, dad,
come on, let's play.
Can you teach me to throw?"
I said, "Not today, I got a lot to do."
He said, "That's OK"
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed, and said
"I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him."
Chorus 1:
And the cat's in the cradle, and the silver spoon
Little boy blue, and the man in the moon
When you comin' home, dad, I don't know when
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then
Well he came from college just the other day
So much like a man, I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head, and he said with a smile
"What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys.
See you later, can I have them please?"
Chorus 2:
And the cat's in the cradle, and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue, and the man in the moon
When you comin' home, son, I don't know when
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then
I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you, if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time.
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kids have the flu.
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad.
It's been sure nice talking to you."
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.
Chorus 2
And the cat's in the cradle, and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue, and the man in the moon
When you comin' home, son, I don't know when
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then
If you're a parent, or if you had a parent who couldn't be there for you 100% of the time as a child, you can probably imagine why I got so emotional.
We're expecting our 5th child in about 10 weeks. That means I currently have to split my time between 4 children, and soon, with an infant, who is going to consume more time than any of the older ones. And 1/5 the money to spend on each of them for their birthdays and Christmas's.
I sometimes wonder if it's fair to my older children that we continue growing our family. So I try very hard to do special things with each child, and give each child the chance to be involved in activities once they are old enough to do so. And very very fortunately, their daddy is the same way. He tries hard to spend as much time as he can with them when he's not working. We plan fun trips together specifically for the enjoyment of the children, he makes every ball game he can- work permitting. We go camping/RVing, fishing, boating, and do other small vacations when we can. Last year we drove out to Kentucky, this year we'd like to go to the Grand Canyon. Here shortly we're planning on going to Salt Lake City to Disney on Ice. So we try to do what we can to make what time we do have with our children memorable and exciting.
Unfortunately we're a blue collar family. I'm working to build the doggy spa, and Daisies, so that we can have a little extra income to, at some point, own our own business. But in the mean time, daddy has to work to pay bills, feed his family, and pay for those fun trips we love to take. Thankfully, the children understand that daddy has to go to work. The younger ones don't really understand WHY yet, but they will. Our daughter does. She knows that without daddy working she doesn't get to eat, she doesn't get toys or new clothes. So she enjoys the times she gets to snuggle on the couch with daddy, or work out in the garage with him.
And I'm so blessed to have a husband who does his best to make time for his children like he does. Yes, life is busy. Yes, he has to work long hours, and doesn't always get to make every game, but he makes it count when he can be there. God really gave me a good man to be these babies' father.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Dance Class- week 2
Most of yesterday's dance class was review, which was especially nice, since hubby and I didn't have a chance to practice all week, thanks to him having to work the whole week through. I did practice my 10-step a few times, it was easy enough to do while I was standing doing dishes and whatnot. Unfortunately, Friday and Saturday I was in excruciating pain for most of the day, so the time we would have had to practice was not really feasible for me.
I woke up Sunday not hurting quite as bad, thank God.
There were a handful of new faces, which was nice, we only had 4 single women instead of upwards of 8 like we had the week before. Plus even some new women, so that was nice.
There was, however, one downfall to this new group of students... this one guy. Holy Moly. Dancing with him was probably the most irritating thing I've had to do in a long time.
I completely understand that when dancing you don't ALWAYS have to time the steps exactly the same as everyone else. When everyone turns on the 4th step, it's OK if you and your partner REALLY want to turn on the 5th. HOWEVER- I would say that doesn't need to be applied while you're still in class. We're still learning how to accomplish these moves, and this guy is completely throwing me off.
So I spoke up "we're supposed to turn on the 4, it's 1-2-3-TURN, you're waiting til the 5."
And he gets an attitude with me, "You don't HAVE to do it on that step, I want to do it on the next step."
To which I replied, "But it's not right, that's not what we're being taught."
And apparently it didn't matter to him. He stood by his "this is what I want to do" attitude. I never wanted the instructor to tell us to switch partners more than I did right then.
Closer towards the end of class, after we had learned a new spin- the slide and catch, which, to me, is 50's-esque which I love!- the instructor had us dance a little more freely utilizing what he had taught us. So then we were encouraged to do extra spins and mix it up how we wanted to, with what we felt comfortable with. Luckily I was with another guy that, so far, has been a good dancer and a strong lead partner. So then it was a lot of fun.
After class was over, I attempted to be a little social. There was a lady there that just has a fun personality and seems really nice. I would not mind hanging out with her and her boyfriend (or the guy she comes with anyway, I'm not sure if they're a couple or not) and going dancing once or twice a month! She reminds me a lot of my old friend, Dawn, who I just love and miss so very much. The only issue I can forsee with us spending time together is that she seems to thoroughly enjoy drinking. Which that in itself isn't the problem. I don't mind drinking, I don't mind being around people drinking, and when I'm not pregnant I enjoy drinking. The problem is that she seems to want to do it A LOT. So I just worry that every time we get together it's going to involve her getting drunk. I'm all for occasionally getting toasted. In the right atmosphere, with the right people it can be a lot of fun. I just don't want to do it every single time I go out.
I woke up Sunday not hurting quite as bad, thank God.
There were a handful of new faces, which was nice, we only had 4 single women instead of upwards of 8 like we had the week before. Plus even some new women, so that was nice.
There was, however, one downfall to this new group of students... this one guy. Holy Moly. Dancing with him was probably the most irritating thing I've had to do in a long time.
I completely understand that when dancing you don't ALWAYS have to time the steps exactly the same as everyone else. When everyone turns on the 4th step, it's OK if you and your partner REALLY want to turn on the 5th. HOWEVER- I would say that doesn't need to be applied while you're still in class. We're still learning how to accomplish these moves, and this guy is completely throwing me off.
So I spoke up "we're supposed to turn on the 4, it's 1-2-3-TURN, you're waiting til the 5."
And he gets an attitude with me, "You don't HAVE to do it on that step, I want to do it on the next step."
To which I replied, "But it's not right, that's not what we're being taught."
And apparently it didn't matter to him. He stood by his "this is what I want to do" attitude. I never wanted the instructor to tell us to switch partners more than I did right then.
Closer towards the end of class, after we had learned a new spin- the slide and catch, which, to me, is 50's-esque which I love!- the instructor had us dance a little more freely utilizing what he had taught us. So then we were encouraged to do extra spins and mix it up how we wanted to, with what we felt comfortable with. Luckily I was with another guy that, so far, has been a good dancer and a strong lead partner. So then it was a lot of fun.
After class was over, I attempted to be a little social. There was a lady there that just has a fun personality and seems really nice. I would not mind hanging out with her and her boyfriend (or the guy she comes with anyway, I'm not sure if they're a couple or not) and going dancing once or twice a month! She reminds me a lot of my old friend, Dawn, who I just love and miss so very much. The only issue I can forsee with us spending time together is that she seems to thoroughly enjoy drinking. Which that in itself isn't the problem. I don't mind drinking, I don't mind being around people drinking, and when I'm not pregnant I enjoy drinking. The problem is that she seems to want to do it A LOT. So I just worry that every time we get together it's going to involve her getting drunk. I'm all for occasionally getting toasted. In the right atmosphere, with the right people it can be a lot of fun. I just don't want to do it every single time I go out.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Pregnancy- Week 29
OK So since I JUST went to the OB for the first time last week, I feel like I can post this, as I have a more accurate idea of where I'm at in my pregnancy.
Oh, and to my PCP- I was right and you were wrong! I was right and you were wrong! Neener- neener!
Back towards the end of August is when I first took my pregnancy tests. I stopped breastfeeding Tommy towards the end of June- June 26th I believe was the last day. The end of the breastfeeding was the beginning of the menstrual cycle. So I knew it was around the end of June beginning of July that I conceived. That guy measured my stomach, why? I have no idea, I was in there for a sinus infection. And tried to tell me I didn't get pregnant until August, so my calculations were off by around 4 weeks. Sorry, dude, I just don't think it's possible.
NEVERTHELESS
Here I am, somewhere in week 29. I have my ultrasound next Friday that will give us an even more accurate due date- not that it matters. I've been induced 3 times and only once has it ever been near my due date, LOL.
USUALLY I do not find out the sex of the baby. My oldest is a girl, and the other 3 are boys. My girl was the only one I found out with, but I was 18 and, like many other things as a young mother, did stuff that I just "thought" you did. And I gotta say- I HATE the whole 'group expectation' crap. The deciding factor for some mothers whether they find out the sex in the U/S or not is "if I don't I won't get any gifts" or "people won't know what to get me" or some other excuse similar. That's the group expectation. A group of people want to buy you something for your child, so they expect you to tell them what color crap to buy- blue or pink. In my opinion, there's plenty enough gender neutral stuff out there that you can easily get away with the majority of your shopping without having any idea what sex your baby is. And there is a gift exchange policy at MOST stores that sell things for babies. My question is- for the moms who find out the sex during the U/S- what if the technician is wrong? So you have your U/S at 18ish weeks, and go along the rest of the 22 weeks of pregnancy assuming this technician was right, so you tell everyone it's a girl. You have a baby shower, you get so much pink stuff you think you might puke cotton candy. D-day arrives, and you labor and contract, labor and contract, then push this little miracle out of your body.... only to find out it has a penis. WHOOPS!
For moms that just enjoy knowing, more power to you. I place no judgement, please don't read me that way. It was kind of nice knowing that I was having a girl. It was easier to picture a daughter instead of just a baby. I just hate people that really do want to be surprised, but feel obligated to find out because of the group expectation.
It's been amazingly fun not knowing! There's just nothing more exciting than going through all that labor and pain, to conclude it with the doctor pulling this little being out of your body only to say "It's a boy!" because he knew you didn't know! It's hard to think back 8 years, but I'm sure the doctor then said "It's a girl!" when she was born, but the excitement wasn't the same- I knew that doc, thanks for catching her :) (Or in my case, sucking her out with a vacuum!)
So, I have one more week to decide if I'm going to let the technician tell me what sex this little bouncy wiggly worm is. My first and MAIN reason for wanting the U/S is just to know whether there's one or two in there! LOL Oh how I would love twins... twin little girls. I'm one of 'those' moms who would totally and completely duplicate their wardrobes! BUT I'm not holding my breath. My luck it would be twins... and they'd both be male.
Don't read me like I'd be unappreciative if it is a he. I can see it now, "so many women can't have babies and you're whining because you didn't get the sex you want." Give me a break. And let me tell you something - we TRIED to foster. We WANTED to foster and adopt. We wanted to open our home to children in need and show them love and compassion. We were told NO. Why? Because we don't immunize OUR children, therefore, in the state's idiotic logic, our children pose a threat to theirs, because ours could be sick. In MY logic, if THEIR children are immunized, then shouldn't they be protected? MY children are the ones at risk here. But no, that's not the way they see it. Ah well.
I can honestly say that if it is a boy, there will be some disappointment. But until you've had 2 or 3 of the same sex all in a row, there's just no way you can understand that. YES, I will love my child. Yes, I will be happy no matter what. The sex will NOT change how I parent or treat that child. It would just be nice to have another baby girl. Although, I am a bit nervous if it is a girl.. I mean, it's been 5 years since I changed a little girl's diaper on a regular basis. The cleaning process is a bit different than a little boy. But, we'll wipe that butt when we get there.
Part of me wants to know the sex before hand. For a few reasons.
#1) This will be the second baby I've cloth diapered from birth. I'd like to know if I can make any girly fluff. I'm much more crafty nowadays than I was when my first 2 were little, so I have a lot of infant girl patterns I'd LOVE to put to use on my child. I bought them when DD was a baby, but worked full time, so never had time to sew, unfortunately. So now that I do sew pretty frequently, I'd like to know if I can make these things for my own daughter.
#2) This IS our last baby. Hubby is getting a vasectomy. We have 5 children, and the only way for me to get my tubes tied is to either have a c-section, so they'll do them after they remove the baby, or deliver vaginally, heal for 6 weeks, then go back in and get the tubal, only to have to heal again for another 4. Sorry.. I'll have 5 kids here soon, ages 0, 2, 4, 6, 8...I have no time to be laying around 'healing'.
#3) If it IS a boy, it will give me time to cope with the disappointment. I know all the sad feelings will go away as soon as I get ahold of the little guy, but I am bipolar, therefore I ALWAYS have PPD- always. This time is already going to be worse, because I KNOW it's our last baby. So I don't want to put any more sad thoughts in the mix by having to deal with the disappointment after he gets here. If I can just deal with it for 8 weeks before he comes, I'll be OK. Then it'll just be "our last baby" and "we won't get to TRY for another girl" that I'll have to deal with. Having another boy might not be SO bad if I knew there was a chance to try again. But, something to look forward to is when this last baby is older, then we can look into fostering once again. So I know it will all just work out in the end.
Oh, and to my PCP- I was right and you were wrong! I was right and you were wrong! Neener- neener!
Back towards the end of August is when I first took my pregnancy tests. I stopped breastfeeding Tommy towards the end of June- June 26th I believe was the last day. The end of the breastfeeding was the beginning of the menstrual cycle. So I knew it was around the end of June beginning of July that I conceived. That guy measured my stomach, why? I have no idea, I was in there for a sinus infection. And tried to tell me I didn't get pregnant until August, so my calculations were off by around 4 weeks. Sorry, dude, I just don't think it's possible.
NEVERTHELESS
Here I am, somewhere in week 29. I have my ultrasound next Friday that will give us an even more accurate due date- not that it matters. I've been induced 3 times and only once has it ever been near my due date, LOL.
USUALLY I do not find out the sex of the baby. My oldest is a girl, and the other 3 are boys. My girl was the only one I found out with, but I was 18 and, like many other things as a young mother, did stuff that I just "thought" you did. And I gotta say- I HATE the whole 'group expectation' crap. The deciding factor for some mothers whether they find out the sex in the U/S or not is "if I don't I won't get any gifts" or "people won't know what to get me" or some other excuse similar. That's the group expectation. A group of people want to buy you something for your child, so they expect you to tell them what color crap to buy- blue or pink. In my opinion, there's plenty enough gender neutral stuff out there that you can easily get away with the majority of your shopping without having any idea what sex your baby is. And there is a gift exchange policy at MOST stores that sell things for babies. My question is- for the moms who find out the sex during the U/S- what if the technician is wrong? So you have your U/S at 18ish weeks, and go along the rest of the 22 weeks of pregnancy assuming this technician was right, so you tell everyone it's a girl. You have a baby shower, you get so much pink stuff you think you might puke cotton candy. D-day arrives, and you labor and contract, labor and contract, then push this little miracle out of your body.... only to find out it has a penis. WHOOPS!
For moms that just enjoy knowing, more power to you. I place no judgement, please don't read me that way. It was kind of nice knowing that I was having a girl. It was easier to picture a daughter instead of just a baby. I just hate people that really do want to be surprised, but feel obligated to find out because of the group expectation.
It's been amazingly fun not knowing! There's just nothing more exciting than going through all that labor and pain, to conclude it with the doctor pulling this little being out of your body only to say "It's a boy!" because he knew you didn't know! It's hard to think back 8 years, but I'm sure the doctor then said "It's a girl!" when she was born, but the excitement wasn't the same- I knew that doc, thanks for catching her :) (Or in my case, sucking her out with a vacuum!)
So, I have one more week to decide if I'm going to let the technician tell me what sex this little bouncy wiggly worm is. My first and MAIN reason for wanting the U/S is just to know whether there's one or two in there! LOL Oh how I would love twins... twin little girls. I'm one of 'those' moms who would totally and completely duplicate their wardrobes! BUT I'm not holding my breath. My luck it would be twins... and they'd both be male.
Don't read me like I'd be unappreciative if it is a he. I can see it now, "so many women can't have babies and you're whining because you didn't get the sex you want." Give me a break. And let me tell you something - we TRIED to foster. We WANTED to foster and adopt. We wanted to open our home to children in need and show them love and compassion. We were told NO. Why? Because we don't immunize OUR children, therefore, in the state's idiotic logic, our children pose a threat to theirs, because ours could be sick. In MY logic, if THEIR children are immunized, then shouldn't they be protected? MY children are the ones at risk here. But no, that's not the way they see it. Ah well.
I can honestly say that if it is a boy, there will be some disappointment. But until you've had 2 or 3 of the same sex all in a row, there's just no way you can understand that. YES, I will love my child. Yes, I will be happy no matter what. The sex will NOT change how I parent or treat that child. It would just be nice to have another baby girl. Although, I am a bit nervous if it is a girl.. I mean, it's been 5 years since I changed a little girl's diaper on a regular basis. The cleaning process is a bit different than a little boy. But, we'll wipe that butt when we get there.
Part of me wants to know the sex before hand. For a few reasons.
#1) This will be the second baby I've cloth diapered from birth. I'd like to know if I can make any girly fluff. I'm much more crafty nowadays than I was when my first 2 were little, so I have a lot of infant girl patterns I'd LOVE to put to use on my child. I bought them when DD was a baby, but worked full time, so never had time to sew, unfortunately. So now that I do sew pretty frequently, I'd like to know if I can make these things for my own daughter.
#2) This IS our last baby. Hubby is getting a vasectomy. We have 5 children, and the only way for me to get my tubes tied is to either have a c-section, so they'll do them after they remove the baby, or deliver vaginally, heal for 6 weeks, then go back in and get the tubal, only to have to heal again for another 4. Sorry.. I'll have 5 kids here soon, ages 0, 2, 4, 6, 8...I have no time to be laying around 'healing'.
#3) If it IS a boy, it will give me time to cope with the disappointment. I know all the sad feelings will go away as soon as I get ahold of the little guy, but I am bipolar, therefore I ALWAYS have PPD- always. This time is already going to be worse, because I KNOW it's our last baby. So I don't want to put any more sad thoughts in the mix by having to deal with the disappointment after he gets here. If I can just deal with it for 8 weeks before he comes, I'll be OK. Then it'll just be "our last baby" and "we won't get to TRY for another girl" that I'll have to deal with. Having another boy might not be SO bad if I knew there was a chance to try again. But, something to look forward to is when this last baby is older, then we can look into fostering once again. So I know it will all just work out in the end.
The Fake Good Parent
I'm a participant in an online survey company. Occasionally I get a survey or 2 in my email that I have so much time to fill out, and when I do, I get paid $3. It's really not bad, sometimes it's kind of lame, cause I am such a 'non-girly' woman that I don't enjoy the surveys about make up or hair care products, and, unfortunately, they can be some of the longest ones. Nevertheless, I push on through and get em done!
Many times, because I have children that fall into a certain age category, I get surveys about snack foods, and processed-package foods. And I have to answer truthfully, or else the survey is worthless.
This morning I got a survey request that was about lunch meat. More specifically 'Lunchables'. Lunchables have never been something I have bought- EVER. For myself, for my children. Why would I? Let's see... buy a package of American cheese, buy a package of lunch meat, buy a box of Ritz crackers. A few slices with a knife and a reusable plastic box with a lid later you've got the same dang thing, and didn't spend almost $3 on ONE meal of cheese and crackers.
Maybe I'm just cheap, but I simply can not buy into these little overpriced, one time use lunches.
So as I fill out this, and many past surveys similar to it, I always wonder- who tries to be the fake good parent? Are there people out there that would lie on these things to make themselves feel better about their parenting choices? And it could really go either way. Do you feel better about yourself as a parent because you DO buy these things to send with your child to school or the park or on a field trip? Or do you feel WORSE about yourself as a parent because you do? And because of those feelings, how honestly would you answer the survey? Would you be the fake good parent?
Many times, because I have children that fall into a certain age category, I get surveys about snack foods, and processed-package foods. And I have to answer truthfully, or else the survey is worthless.
This morning I got a survey request that was about lunch meat. More specifically 'Lunchables'. Lunchables have never been something I have bought- EVER. For myself, for my children. Why would I? Let's see... buy a package of American cheese, buy a package of lunch meat, buy a box of Ritz crackers. A few slices with a knife and a reusable plastic box with a lid later you've got the same dang thing, and didn't spend almost $3 on ONE meal of cheese and crackers.
Maybe I'm just cheap, but I simply can not buy into these little overpriced, one time use lunches.
So as I fill out this, and many past surveys similar to it, I always wonder- who tries to be the fake good parent? Are there people out there that would lie on these things to make themselves feel better about their parenting choices? And it could really go either way. Do you feel better about yourself as a parent because you DO buy these things to send with your child to school or the park or on a field trip? Or do you feel WORSE about yourself as a parent because you do? And because of those feelings, how honestly would you answer the survey? Would you be the fake good parent?
Friday, January 21, 2011
7's Featured Music This Week
While I'm trying to organize my life (HAH!) I tend to forget stuff, so I'm being easy on myself to grow into a more routined lifestyle. I know I can't change overnight... I know I can't change in a month! But little goals achieved will get me there :)
That being said, it's Friday, so this featured music will be a short lived one... which is probably good because it's not exactly a happy tune.
I don't know if it's just because I'm feeling overwhelmed, or crappy, or in so much pain, or depressed, or lonely.... I'm just really feeling this old tune.
The song is called
the original artist was Nine Inch Nails, however Johnny Cash did a cover shortly before he passed away that I love just as much.
This is the Nine Inch Nails version (mostly keyboard): - WARNING- this one has the "s" word.
and this is the Johnny Cash version (more piano and acoustic guitar): ("s" word has been replaced)
Lyrics:
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
Chorus:
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this crown of thorns/("s")
Upon my liars chair
Full of broken thoughts
I can not repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here
Chorus
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way
That being said, it's Friday, so this featured music will be a short lived one... which is probably good because it's not exactly a happy tune.
I don't know if it's just because I'm feeling overwhelmed, or crappy, or in so much pain, or depressed, or lonely.... I'm just really feeling this old tune.
The song is called
"Hurt"
the original artist was Nine Inch Nails, however Johnny Cash did a cover shortly before he passed away that I love just as much.
This is the Nine Inch Nails version (mostly keyboard): - WARNING- this one has the "s" word.
and this is the Johnny Cash version (more piano and acoustic guitar): ("s" word has been replaced)
Lyrics:
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
Chorus:
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this crown of thorns/("s")
Upon my liars chair
Full of broken thoughts
I can not repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here
Chorus
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way
Commercializing ourselves
For a long while now, there's been a big voice for the 'average' American woman. A voice telling us that we are beautiful just the way we are. That we're not SUPPOSED to look like the models on TV or in magazines. Even Dove has a campaign teaching young girls about appreciating themselves, where they even made this video -
which is actually a REALLY cool video.
And just today I watched a HILARIOUS mock commercial created by one of my favorite bloggers "Single Dad Laughing" you can find here-
Muffin Man's Magic Weight-Loss Muffin Mix
Unfortunately, we can tell ourselves we are how God made us, and beautiful just how we are. We can even sing ourselves "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera, and try to feel better about ourselves. But when it comes down to it, how much do we REALLY believe, and how much do we commercialize ourselves? Look at the woman who is singing that song, after all. My God, it's Christina Aguilera- the 'Genie in a Bottle' herself.
Yeah, Christina- you're beautiful. We don't need you to spell it out.
Maybe that's why I love Jennifer Aniston so much.
Even in a super sexy, shoulder bearing photo shoot such as this one, Jennifer doesn't need bleach blond hair, heavy make up, and breasts hanging out all over the place to look absolutely amazing. She just is who she is, without having to be trashy to make it work.
I'm not saying there's anything WRONG with make up. I have a SUPER hot friend who does the most awesome job on her make up, and even does tutorials
I'm just saying that she doesn't NEED that make up to look beautiful. And hopefully she knows that.
It's hard being a woman this day and age. Well, I'm sure it was hard being a woman for most of the 20th century, however, with internet and television as important as it is today, there's SO much more pressure on us to look a certain way. While the mid-19th-century women had their own expectations to deal with, they were lucky enough to only have to see what they were 'supposed' to look like in magazines or newspapers.
Back then it was easier to close the magazine or newspaper and go on with your life.
For us 21st century women, we have a lot more competition for our self esteem. Magazines, television, billboards, newspapers, internet ads.... it's no wonder there's such a problem with the way our society views its women, and how we view ourselves.
My daughter is 8 years old, and occasionally for the last 2 years she has asked me questions about her body. One of which being, 'do [I] think she's fat?'. I'm not sure I've ever felt the sadness that I feel when she does this. And I know it's from the commercials she sees on television, as I am very careful not to complain about my looks in her presence. I want her to see a confident mother with self esteem, so she can look up to me. If I went around saying how I REALLY felt about myself, she'd look at herself with the same disdain. And who wants their daughter to grow up hating themselves? I'm sure my mom didn't.
Unfortunately the world isn't going to change... not in my lifetime anyway. It's probably only going to get worse. Sadly, we don't have enough Queen Latifah's out there either, promoting LOVE for our curves.
Instead our daughters are seeing crap like
which is actually a REALLY cool video.
And just today I watched a HILARIOUS mock commercial created by one of my favorite bloggers "Single Dad Laughing" you can find here-
Muffin Man's Magic Weight-Loss Muffin Mix
Unfortunately, we can tell ourselves we are how God made us, and beautiful just how we are. We can even sing ourselves "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera, and try to feel better about ourselves. But when it comes down to it, how much do we REALLY believe, and how much do we commercialize ourselves? Look at the woman who is singing that song, after all. My God, it's Christina Aguilera- the 'Genie in a Bottle' herself.
Maybe that's why I love Jennifer Aniston so much.
I'm not saying there's anything WRONG with make up. I have a SUPER hot friend who does the most awesome job on her make up, and even does tutorials
I'm just saying that she doesn't NEED that make up to look beautiful. And hopefully she knows that.
It's hard being a woman this day and age. Well, I'm sure it was hard being a woman for most of the 20th century, however, with internet and television as important as it is today, there's SO much more pressure on us to look a certain way. While the mid-19th-century women had their own expectations to deal with, they were lucky enough to only have to see what they were 'supposed' to look like in magazines or newspapers.
Back then it was easier to close the magazine or newspaper and go on with your life.
For us 21st century women, we have a lot more competition for our self esteem. Magazines, television, billboards, newspapers, internet ads.... it's no wonder there's such a problem with the way our society views its women, and how we view ourselves.
My daughter is 8 years old, and occasionally for the last 2 years she has asked me questions about her body. One of which being, 'do [I] think she's fat?'. I'm not sure I've ever felt the sadness that I feel when she does this. And I know it's from the commercials she sees on television, as I am very careful not to complain about my looks in her presence. I want her to see a confident mother with self esteem, so she can look up to me. If I went around saying how I REALLY felt about myself, she'd look at herself with the same disdain. And who wants their daughter to grow up hating themselves? I'm sure my mom didn't.
Unfortunately the world isn't going to change... not in my lifetime anyway. It's probably only going to get worse. Sadly, we don't have enough Queen Latifah's out there either, promoting LOVE for our curves.
THIS
(that would be Lindsay Lohan, if you couldn't tell)
Or this
Or this
(Paris Hilton)
And let's not even get started on the Halloween costumes.
The sad fact is that until EVERYONE changes their view on women, nothing is going to change.
When THIS
becomes as sexy as THIS
then I think our society will be on the right track.
But as long as Olay tells us we need to look younger, Botox says we need to look poutier, Hollywood shows us we need breast implants and liposuction, and Revlon tells us we need longer eyelashes, Dove, Jennifer, and the Queen's voices are going to be hard to hear.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
COOKIES!
Thanks to my secret santa, I got an AWESOME cupcakes, cookies, and treats cookbook for Christmas! I've had some chocolate chips hiding in my cupboard for a couple of weeks now, and hubby has already sneaked out a few, so I knew if I didn't make some cookies soon, I wouldn't have any chocolate chips at all!
I decided to brake out my new dessert book and see what kind of chocolate chip cookie recipes it had. The one that sparked my interest was
"Chocolate Chip and Cinnamon Cookies"
I got out all my "normal" chocolate chip cookie ingredients, including brown sugar, vanilla, baking powder and baking soda (cause I can never remember which one I really need, and I hate making multiple trips from the baking cabinet to the table). Then I read the recipe:
1 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup superfine sugar
1 egg yolk, lightly beaten
2 tsp orange extract
2 cups AP flour
pinch of salt
heaping 1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips
Cinnamon coating:
1 1/2 tbsp superfine sugar
1 1/2 tbsp ground cinnamon
Well.. alrighty then. I love trying new recipes, and that was the intended goal here, so on we went!
Preheat oven to 375F. Line 2 large baking sheets with parchment paper. Place the butter and sugar in a large bowl and beat together until light and fluffy, then beat in the egg yolk and orange extract. Sift together the flour and salt into the mixture, add the chocolate chips, and stir until thoroughly combined.
To make the cinnamon coating, mix the sugar and cinnamon in a shallow bowl. Scoop out tablespoons of the cookie dough, roll them into balls, then roll them in the cinnamon mixture to coat. Place them on the baking sheets, spaced well apart.
Bake in the preheated oven for 12-15 minutes, or until golden brown. Let cool on the baking sheets for 5-10 minutes, then transfer the cookies to wire racks to cool compeltely.
Sounds pretty easy.
I DID change the 'orange extract' to 'vanilla extract' cause I'm not a super huge fan of oranges to begin with, the thought of mixing orange with chocolate repulses me, and I didn't have any orange extract.
I also did not have 'superfine sugar'. My choices were normal sugar, brown sugar, or confectioners sugar. I went with normal sugar.
And lastly, I didn't measure my cinnamon sugar mixture. I just shook a little of each into a bowl til they looked about the same amount. I think I wound up with a little extra cinnamon, but I'm OK with that.
You know, I consider myself a decent baker. I enjoy it, and I've only got 1 superb failure under my belt. Everything else I've ever made has turned out good- even if it doesn't LOOK perfect, it tastes delish! Having said that, I've NEVER used 'parchment paper' for baking. To be completely honest, I've never used parchment paper at all! I've used WAX paper- which I had assumed was the same, and for MOST purposes, I suppose it still is. Purposes such as rolling out sticky dough, for instance... but apparently not baking. I lined my cookie sheet with the wax paper (I do have a few cookie sheets, I just only ever use one at a time because when I've double sheeted in my oven, one of the two items never gets done all the way, since they don't fit side by side on one rack).
My eldest son helped me roll the dough into balls and roll them in the cinnamon sugar. My other 3 had already been sent to bed for various reasons, so he was the only one who got to help this time. Lucky him- he got both beaters!!
I put that sheet in the oven and set the timer for 10 minutes, and in 5 my entire kitchen, dining area, and living room were FULL of smoke. It appeared the smoke was coming off of the cookies themselves, so my first thought was that it was the cinnamon. So I turned fans on and opened the door (despite the 20F temperature outside) and let them finish baking, watching closely for the first sign of flame.
When the timer dinged and there was no fire, I pulled the smoky, barely flattened balls out of the oven.
There comes a time in all baker's lives when they try an unknown recipe, and are unsure whether they've completely ruined a recipe, or just expected something different. This was one of those times.
A 'standard' chocolate chip cookie can be either rolled into a ball, or dropped in a mound on a cookie sheet, and after baking will come out flat. These cookies did not flatten out. Therefore did not look like the photo in the cookbook. Therefore the baker's moment of panic set in. "What have I done wrong?"
In my state of panic, I forgot the part of the instructions where it says "let cool on the baking sheets for 5-10 minutes before transferring to the wire rack" and I began peeling them off the wax paper. Obviously the cooling period is an important step, because they pretty much collapsed and crumbled in my hand as I slid the spatula beneath them and held the tops of them with my other hand. This, of course, led to even MORE panic.
I placed this batch on the wire rack and removed the wax paper from the sheet to transfer IT to the garbage.
The second batch I put directly on the cookie sheet. After all, even if the first batch had failed, I have 4 children and a husband that are the closest thing to garbage disposals you can get. They'll eat just about anything, especially if it has sugar and chocolate in it! So there was no way I was wasting the rest of that dough!
When I baked the second batch, there was minimal smoke, but it was still there. I'm not 100% sure, at this point, if it was indeed the cinnamon smoking, or if, perhaps, there was something ON my cookie sheet that I couldn't see when I cleaned it, which was now baking into the sheet. Just what I love- stains on my cookie sheet :-/
Nevertheless, the second batch came out pretty much the same as the first batch. And had my son not made dime sized balls, we probably would have used up all the dough on that round. But, his little, tiny cookie balls allowed for a third, small batch. Unfortunately either I left them in the oven too long, for their miniature size, or the parchment paper really would have made a difference, because the bottoms of the third batch burned a bit. Certainly still edible, but not very pretty.
The cookies were wonderful! A delicious alternative to the standard chocolate chip cookie. They were very sweet, thanks to the cinnamon sugar coating, but I've found that even the standard C.C.C.'s are extremely sweet for my taste. I believe the cinnamon added to the sugary coating, which was very nice, and the 'not so flat' cookies were very fluffy, soft, and delicious. Not cakey, by any means, just not hard like a cold C.C.C. can sometimes be.
Perhaps next time I go to the store I'll review the 'parchment' paper and try it out. :)
I decided to brake out my new dessert book and see what kind of chocolate chip cookie recipes it had. The one that sparked my interest was
"Chocolate Chip and Cinnamon Cookies"
I got out all my "normal" chocolate chip cookie ingredients, including brown sugar, vanilla, baking powder and baking soda (cause I can never remember which one I really need, and I hate making multiple trips from the baking cabinet to the table). Then I read the recipe:
1 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup superfine sugar
1 egg yolk, lightly beaten
2 tsp orange extract
2 cups AP flour
pinch of salt
heaping 1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips
Cinnamon coating:
1 1/2 tbsp superfine sugar
1 1/2 tbsp ground cinnamon
Well.. alrighty then. I love trying new recipes, and that was the intended goal here, so on we went!
Preheat oven to 375F. Line 2 large baking sheets with parchment paper. Place the butter and sugar in a large bowl and beat together until light and fluffy, then beat in the egg yolk and orange extract. Sift together the flour and salt into the mixture, add the chocolate chips, and stir until thoroughly combined.
To make the cinnamon coating, mix the sugar and cinnamon in a shallow bowl. Scoop out tablespoons of the cookie dough, roll them into balls, then roll them in the cinnamon mixture to coat. Place them on the baking sheets, spaced well apart.
Bake in the preheated oven for 12-15 minutes, or until golden brown. Let cool on the baking sheets for 5-10 minutes, then transfer the cookies to wire racks to cool compeltely.
Sounds pretty easy.
I DID change the 'orange extract' to 'vanilla extract' cause I'm not a super huge fan of oranges to begin with, the thought of mixing orange with chocolate repulses me, and I didn't have any orange extract.
I also did not have 'superfine sugar'. My choices were normal sugar, brown sugar, or confectioners sugar. I went with normal sugar.
And lastly, I didn't measure my cinnamon sugar mixture. I just shook a little of each into a bowl til they looked about the same amount. I think I wound up with a little extra cinnamon, but I'm OK with that.
You know, I consider myself a decent baker. I enjoy it, and I've only got 1 superb failure under my belt. Everything else I've ever made has turned out good- even if it doesn't LOOK perfect, it tastes delish! Having said that, I've NEVER used 'parchment paper' for baking. To be completely honest, I've never used parchment paper at all! I've used WAX paper- which I had assumed was the same, and for MOST purposes, I suppose it still is. Purposes such as rolling out sticky dough, for instance... but apparently not baking. I lined my cookie sheet with the wax paper (I do have a few cookie sheets, I just only ever use one at a time because when I've double sheeted in my oven, one of the two items never gets done all the way, since they don't fit side by side on one rack).
My eldest son helped me roll the dough into balls and roll them in the cinnamon sugar. My other 3 had already been sent to bed for various reasons, so he was the only one who got to help this time. Lucky him- he got both beaters!!
I put that sheet in the oven and set the timer for 10 minutes, and in 5 my entire kitchen, dining area, and living room were FULL of smoke. It appeared the smoke was coming off of the cookies themselves, so my first thought was that it was the cinnamon. So I turned fans on and opened the door (despite the 20F temperature outside) and let them finish baking, watching closely for the first sign of flame.
When the timer dinged and there was no fire, I pulled the smoky, barely flattened balls out of the oven.
There comes a time in all baker's lives when they try an unknown recipe, and are unsure whether they've completely ruined a recipe, or just expected something different. This was one of those times.
A 'standard' chocolate chip cookie can be either rolled into a ball, or dropped in a mound on a cookie sheet, and after baking will come out flat. These cookies did not flatten out. Therefore did not look like the photo in the cookbook. Therefore the baker's moment of panic set in. "What have I done wrong?"
In my state of panic, I forgot the part of the instructions where it says "let cool on the baking sheets for 5-10 minutes before transferring to the wire rack" and I began peeling them off the wax paper. Obviously the cooling period is an important step, because they pretty much collapsed and crumbled in my hand as I slid the spatula beneath them and held the tops of them with my other hand. This, of course, led to even MORE panic.
I placed this batch on the wire rack and removed the wax paper from the sheet to transfer IT to the garbage.
The second batch I put directly on the cookie sheet. After all, even if the first batch had failed, I have 4 children and a husband that are the closest thing to garbage disposals you can get. They'll eat just about anything, especially if it has sugar and chocolate in it! So there was no way I was wasting the rest of that dough!
When I baked the second batch, there was minimal smoke, but it was still there. I'm not 100% sure, at this point, if it was indeed the cinnamon smoking, or if, perhaps, there was something ON my cookie sheet that I couldn't see when I cleaned it, which was now baking into the sheet. Just what I love- stains on my cookie sheet :-/
Nevertheless, the second batch came out pretty much the same as the first batch. And had my son not made dime sized balls, we probably would have used up all the dough on that round. But, his little, tiny cookie balls allowed for a third, small batch. Unfortunately either I left them in the oven too long, for their miniature size, or the parchment paper really would have made a difference, because the bottoms of the third batch burned a bit. Certainly still edible, but not very pretty.
The cookies were wonderful! A delicious alternative to the standard chocolate chip cookie. They were very sweet, thanks to the cinnamon sugar coating, but I've found that even the standard C.C.C.'s are extremely sweet for my taste. I believe the cinnamon added to the sugary coating, which was very nice, and the 'not so flat' cookies were very fluffy, soft, and delicious. Not cakey, by any means, just not hard like a cold C.C.C. can sometimes be.
Perhaps next time I go to the store I'll review the 'parchment' paper and try it out. :)
Menu for the week of Jan 16 - 22
OK Since breakfasts and lunches pretty much are never set in stone, and the variety is always pretty much the same, I'm not going to post those anymore. ONWARD-
1/21/11 *NOTE* This week has been kind of hard on me. I've had a few SUPER busy days, which leads to super painful days following thereafter, unfortunately. I've never been horribly strict on myself to stick to my menu plans- so when I am not feeling in the mood for what's on the menu that night, or just not physically able to stand there and do all the prep work to get dinner done that night, I swap it up for something easier (yes, sometimes even fast food) but hey, I'm 29 weeks pregnant, I give myself a break :)
DINNERS
Sunday, January 16-
Fast Food after dance class
Monday, January 17-
Leftovers
Tuesday, January 18-
Pot Pies- The frozen kind, unfortunately.
Wednesday, January 19-
Waffles
Thursday, January 20-
Pizza Hut
(Tonight was SUPPOSED to be Potato Soup, but after 6 hours in the slow cooker, the potatoes were still hard, so we went out for Pizza Hut.)
Friday, January 21-
Potato Soup in Bread Bowls
(The potatoes were near perfect when we got home from pizza and the store Thursday night, so I shut the slow cooker down for the night, and am mashing the potatoes and adding the spices/flavors today and turning back on low until dinner time!)
Saturday, January 22-
Slow Cooker Chimichangas
1/21/11 *NOTE* This week has been kind of hard on me. I've had a few SUPER busy days, which leads to super painful days following thereafter, unfortunately. I've never been horribly strict on myself to stick to my menu plans- so when I am not feeling in the mood for what's on the menu that night, or just not physically able to stand there and do all the prep work to get dinner done that night, I swap it up for something easier (yes, sometimes even fast food) but hey, I'm 29 weeks pregnant, I give myself a break :)
DINNERS
Sunday, January 16-
Fast Food after dance class
Monday, January 17-
Leftovers
Tuesday, January 18-
Pot Pies- The frozen kind, unfortunately.
Wednesday, January 19-
Waffles
Thursday, January 20-
Pizza Hut
(Tonight was SUPPOSED to be Potato Soup, but after 6 hours in the slow cooker, the potatoes were still hard, so we went out for Pizza Hut.)
Friday, January 21-
Potato Soup in Bread Bowls
(The potatoes were near perfect when we got home from pizza and the store Thursday night, so I shut the slow cooker down for the night, and am mashing the potatoes and adding the spices/flavors today and turning back on low until dinner time!)
Saturday, January 22-
Slow Cooker Chimichangas
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Learning to dance
The opportunity for hubby and I to take some dance classes. I love dancing. I've never done more than slow dancing or 'party' dancing- you know the kind- you're at a party with a large group of people, and everyone is just kind of moving to the music in no specific way or order- kind of 'wiggling and hoping for the best'. But, I do love doing it. It's a lot of fun! Unfortunately, hubby isn't very rhythmatically blessed, so he doesn't enjoy dancing. I even kind of 'made' him slow dance with me the last Christmas party, and, well.. yeah.
SO we signed up for these classes- the teacher is hilarious! He's just great! We learned the steps to the 10 step, 2 step, Country Swing, and another one, something like 'jitterbug' I believe. He didn't specifically say, 'now we're going to learn the 2 step' he just went from one set to the next, because they flowed together so well. The 10 step is pretty much the only one I can say "Yes, this is the 10 step" LOL
I do have to admit, it was awkward watching my husband dance with other women, as most of the time he was. We had about 6 more women than we had men, so the men would rotate partners so everyone had a chance to participate. Not only did he have to dance with other women, I had to dance with other men. While I was dancing with the others, I didn't really notice- I didn't completely feel comfortable dancing with other men, but I knew it was all in the name of learning. But there was a couple of times I had to sit out because we ran out of men, and I just watched him dance with the other women, and I have to say, I was jealous.
We only have 3 more classes, unfortunately. But I hope we can remember most of what we've learned and try and go out on a few dates occasionally! I'm not a huge fan of bars, but I know I'll have to get used to them if I want to go dance. More importantly, I hope he can remember the steps and keep up with the rhythm. :)
SO we signed up for these classes- the teacher is hilarious! He's just great! We learned the steps to the 10 step, 2 step, Country Swing, and another one, something like 'jitterbug' I believe. He didn't specifically say, 'now we're going to learn the 2 step' he just went from one set to the next, because they flowed together so well. The 10 step is pretty much the only one I can say "Yes, this is the 10 step" LOL
I do have to admit, it was awkward watching my husband dance with other women, as most of the time he was. We had about 6 more women than we had men, so the men would rotate partners so everyone had a chance to participate. Not only did he have to dance with other women, I had to dance with other men. While I was dancing with the others, I didn't really notice- I didn't completely feel comfortable dancing with other men, but I knew it was all in the name of learning. But there was a couple of times I had to sit out because we ran out of men, and I just watched him dance with the other women, and I have to say, I was jealous.
We only have 3 more classes, unfortunately. But I hope we can remember most of what we've learned and try and go out on a few dates occasionally! I'm not a huge fan of bars, but I know I'll have to get used to them if I want to go dance. More importantly, I hope he can remember the steps and keep up with the rhythm. :)
Thursday, January 13, 2011
My New Toy!
I'll never buy ground beef again!!
Look at my new toy!
Look at my new toy!
It's a Meat Bandsaw and Grinder!
Here is the grinder, to make ground meat, sausage, and jerky with!
And here is the bandsaw- I raised the guard so you could see it.
This will cut through the meat and bones to give me any
cut I want. I also use it to cut the meat into slices so they are easily dropped into the grinder.
Yesterday we turned THIS:
Into THIS:
And now I'm ready to make my 'mock chicken fried steak' :)
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Jan 11, 2011
My poor babies. The 3 older ones all have fevers. Nicky's started last night, and is still hanging around at between 103 and 104. Jeremy is floating between 102 and 103, and I just checked Sissy for the heck of it, and she's between 100 and 101. I haven't checked Toad yet, he's taking his nap, and I'm NOT about to risk disturbing his grouchy butt.
I, personally, am just exhausted. I stayed up way too late chatting with an old buddy, which was very enjoyable, but kept me up too long. Coupled with hubby being on overnights, which already makes it hard for me to sleep at night, and I just wasn't even interested in sleep until between 3:30 and 4AM. I finally gave in around 4:30, only to be woke up at 9:30 by sissy telling me Toad was on the table making an even bigger mess of the mess I left there last night.
So now I'm sitting here, with sick babies, watching Chicken Little, and attempting, but failing, to read about hydroponic gardening.
I, personally, am just exhausted. I stayed up way too late chatting with an old buddy, which was very enjoyable, but kept me up too long. Coupled with hubby being on overnights, which already makes it hard for me to sleep at night, and I just wasn't even interested in sleep until between 3:30 and 4AM. I finally gave in around 4:30, only to be woke up at 9:30 by sissy telling me Toad was on the table making an even bigger mess of the mess I left there last night.
So now I'm sitting here, with sick babies, watching Chicken Little, and attempting, but failing, to read about hydroponic gardening.
Monday, January 10, 2011
WHY, ADAM??? WHYYYYYYYYYYY???
I'm heartbroken.
Adam was on Conan tonight... and it was awful.
First off, Adam had a black eye. They didn't talk about it, but it was pretty obvious.
But the reason I'm so upset is because of Adam's mouth. I love most of his old stand up, and most of his SNL comedy. And the last interview show I saw him on was, I believe Letterman, and he talked about how his jokes have changed since having children- which is true, I've noticed. His comedy style and movies have become more family oriented, which is nice.
One of the first jokes of the night, from Adam, was about his daughter catching him, his wife, and another man having sex. Sorry, Adam, I just didn't find that funny at all.
Next, he and Conan started talking about his new movie, "Just Go With It", and his first joke about it was that the original title was "Just Blow On It", and his visual portrayal of his face on the poster was, well... what it might look like if someone were 'blowing on it'. Not exceptionally funny, and not really necessary IMO. What, really, was the purpose of that joke? C'mon, Adam, you can do better than that.
Luckily he followed up with a good joke about the hot women in the movie (Jennifer Aniston, Nicole Kidman, and Brooklyn Decker) still not talking to him even though he is a movie star.
Unfortunately, his short lived, and limited rise from possible disaster, was thwarted with a tasteless, tacky, and disgusting follow up about him having to wear a bathing suit in the film, and being on his period, mercilessly throwing him back down into the pits of complete failure. There just isn't anything funny about hearing a man joke about 'seeing the string' hang down from his swim trunks, when it's clear you're NOT talking about your penis.
So.. I hate to say it, Adam, but I'm going to have to add this one to the 46 other thumbs down you've gotten for your 22 other movies.
But... I'll stay optimistic. Conan really enjoyed the new movie, so I hope to see it later this year.
Adam was on Conan tonight... and it was awful.
First off, Adam had a black eye. They didn't talk about it, but it was pretty obvious.
But the reason I'm so upset is because of Adam's mouth. I love most of his old stand up, and most of his SNL comedy. And the last interview show I saw him on was, I believe Letterman, and he talked about how his jokes have changed since having children- which is true, I've noticed. His comedy style and movies have become more family oriented, which is nice.
One of the first jokes of the night, from Adam, was about his daughter catching him, his wife, and another man having sex. Sorry, Adam, I just didn't find that funny at all.
Next, he and Conan started talking about his new movie, "Just Go With It", and his first joke about it was that the original title was "Just Blow On It", and his visual portrayal of his face on the poster was, well... what it might look like if someone were 'blowing on it'. Not exceptionally funny, and not really necessary IMO. What, really, was the purpose of that joke? C'mon, Adam, you can do better than that.
Luckily he followed up with a good joke about the hot women in the movie (Jennifer Aniston, Nicole Kidman, and Brooklyn Decker) still not talking to him even though he is a movie star.
Unfortunately, his short lived, and limited rise from possible disaster, was thwarted with a tasteless, tacky, and disgusting follow up about him having to wear a bathing suit in the film, and being on his period, mercilessly throwing him back down into the pits of complete failure. There just isn't anything funny about hearing a man joke about 'seeing the string' hang down from his swim trunks, when it's clear you're NOT talking about your penis.
So.. I hate to say it, Adam, but I'm going to have to add this one to the 46 other thumbs down you've gotten for your 22 other movies.
But... I'll stay optimistic. Conan really enjoyed the new movie, so I hope to see it later this year.
Fondue Fun!
Last night we had fondue- it was the best fun eating dinner :)
Cheese fondue
with celery, broccoli, carrots, and french bread for dipping.
Sausage balls that we will 'fondue' in the deep fryer
with mushroom sauce (to the left) for dipping
And the chocolate fountain:
fried sausage balls:
dipping grapes, bananas, and Angel Food Cake into the chocolate fountain.
Cleaning up the aftermath:
Menu for the week of Jan 9 - 15
Breakfasts
Pancakes, waffles, french toast, scones, biscuits & gravy, omeletes
Lunches
leftovers, peanut butter & jelly, corn dogs, quesadillas
Dinners
Sunday, January 9-
FONDUE night!
Between grocery shopping and pregnancy pain, we didn't do Fondue on saturday like we had planned, so I moved it to Sunday! It was a blast!
Sausage balls fondue with Mushroom dipping sauce;
Cheese fondue with carrots, celery, broccoli, and french bread for dipping;
Chocolate fondue for dessert with bananas, grapes, and Angel Food Cake for dipping!
Monday, January 10-
Deer Chili
Tuesday, January 11-
Between the kids and I being sick, I just didn't feel like cooking Tuesday or Wednesday, so the menu is reflecting the changes.
Leftovers
Wednesday, January 12-
Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
Thursday, January 13-
Mock Chicken Fried Steak, using leftover Mushroom dipping sauce as gravy
Mashed potatoes with gravy made from the steaks
Fresh veggies- carrots, broccoli, celery, sugar snap peas
Friday, January 14-
Chicken Fetuccini Alfredo
OK So I had NO fetuccini noodles, and by the time I started this dish, I had no TIME to make pasta. So I scoured my pasta cabinet (yes, I have a whole cabinet dedicated to pasta, OBVIOULSY I need a restock) and decided completely against spaghetti or angel hair, so I went with bowties! OH and that green stuff is fresh cut broccoli! YUMMMM!
Saturday, January 15-
Tuna Casserole w/Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
Pancakes, waffles, french toast, scones, biscuits & gravy, omeletes
Lunches
leftovers, peanut butter & jelly, corn dogs, quesadillas
Dinners
Sunday, January 9-
FONDUE night!
Between grocery shopping and pregnancy pain, we didn't do Fondue on saturday like we had planned, so I moved it to Sunday! It was a blast!
Sausage balls fondue with Mushroom dipping sauce;
Cheese fondue with carrots, celery, broccoli, and french bread for dipping;
Chocolate fondue for dessert with bananas, grapes, and Angel Food Cake for dipping!
Monday, January 10-
Deer Chili
Tuesday, January 11-
Between the kids and I being sick, I just didn't feel like cooking Tuesday or Wednesday, so the menu is reflecting the changes.
Leftovers
Wednesday, January 12-
Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
Thursday, January 13-
Mock Chicken Fried Steak, using leftover Mushroom dipping sauce as gravy
Mashed potatoes with gravy made from the steaks
Fresh veggies- carrots, broccoli, celery, sugar snap peas
Friday, January 14-
Chicken Fetuccini Alfredo
OK So I had NO fetuccini noodles, and by the time I started this dish, I had no TIME to make pasta. So I scoured my pasta cabinet (yes, I have a whole cabinet dedicated to pasta, OBVIOULSY I need a restock) and decided completely against spaghetti or angel hair, so I went with bowties! OH and that green stuff is fresh cut broccoli! YUMMMM!
Saturday, January 15-
Tuna Casserole w/Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
Saturday, January 8, 2011
January 8, 2011
I wonder if I'm alone in having many ambitions, but no motivation?
I WANT to do so many things. I want to make things and sew things and make my own clothes and make my kids clothes. I even buy patterns and fabric to do it. But after a long time of NOT doing it I wind up with piles of fabric I can't remember what I was going to use it for, and patterns that are now too small for my children.
I don't know why I do this. Why don't I just make it as soon as I get it home? I have no idea. But it is very frustrating.
I WANT to do so many things. I want to make things and sew things and make my own clothes and make my kids clothes. I even buy patterns and fabric to do it. But after a long time of NOT doing it I wind up with piles of fabric I can't remember what I was going to use it for, and patterns that are now too small for my children.
I don't know why I do this. Why don't I just make it as soon as I get it home? I have no idea. But it is very frustrating.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
January 6, 2011
Well, today sucked. I completely and totally felt like crap today. I didn't leave my bed until my husband came home from work around 4:00. Aside from, of course, chasing the baby, changing his diaper, going to the bathroom, and helping my daughter make the kids lunch. She's getting so independent, she loves to make Ramen noodles for her and the boys, and can do it unsupervised. I just have to be there to occasionally referee the 3 year old. Sometimes she feels like since she's in charge of their lunch, that means it's time for her to be 'the boss' and I have to deter that behavior. In my opinion, it's not her place to make sure the boys pray for their food, but she tends to feel like it is. She tries hard to be a 'big sister' but sometimes just oversteps her boundaries, which is her 'mama hen' personality coming out.
So what do I do with the kids while I'm in bed all day? Easy- they stay in there with me watching movies! They go into their bedrooms and play when they want, as they are independent enough to play unsupervised, but still attached enough to mommy they want to hang out with me and watch movies vegging all day. I'm sure it's a nice reprieve from all the chores I've been making them do the last week.
We were supposed to have chili tonight for dinner, per my menu. But, alas, I didn't get up and cook the deer meat, so we're having tacos and burritos instead, sans lettuce or tomato. The kids don't like those two additions anyway, and daddy and I have home made salsa, so we will survive.
I hate when I feel like I did today. My tummy and back hurt a little bit, but not enough to justify me laying there all day, but it sure didn't keep me from using those excuses when the kids asked me what was wrong. The bottom line is I just felt miserable. I'm not sure if it was depression or not, cause I didn't really FEEL anything. Not sad or upset or any of the other horrible things I feel sometimes, just overall blah. No motivation to bother with chores or a shower or getting dressed, or getting out of bed.
But, I'm up now, sitting here while Sissy grates the rest of the cheese so we can eat dinner. Luckily tacos / burritos just don't take a lot of time or energy to make. Thank God for small favors.
So what do I do with the kids while I'm in bed all day? Easy- they stay in there with me watching movies! They go into their bedrooms and play when they want, as they are independent enough to play unsupervised, but still attached enough to mommy they want to hang out with me and watch movies vegging all day. I'm sure it's a nice reprieve from all the chores I've been making them do the last week.
We were supposed to have chili tonight for dinner, per my menu. But, alas, I didn't get up and cook the deer meat, so we're having tacos and burritos instead, sans lettuce or tomato. The kids don't like those two additions anyway, and daddy and I have home made salsa, so we will survive.
I hate when I feel like I did today. My tummy and back hurt a little bit, but not enough to justify me laying there all day, but it sure didn't keep me from using those excuses when the kids asked me what was wrong. The bottom line is I just felt miserable. I'm not sure if it was depression or not, cause I didn't really FEEL anything. Not sad or upset or any of the other horrible things I feel sometimes, just overall blah. No motivation to bother with chores or a shower or getting dressed, or getting out of bed.
But, I'm up now, sitting here while Sissy grates the rest of the cheese so we can eat dinner. Luckily tacos / burritos just don't take a lot of time or energy to make. Thank God for small favors.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
7's Featured Music This Week
Music is HUGELY important in my life. When I can't find the words to describe how I feel, I write and sing.When I need a pick me up, I listen and sing. When I'm feeling happy, I rejoice and sing.
I know it's already Tuesday, but, since this is a new venture in my life, you'll just have to forgive me :)
So I decided, just now, that I'd like to feature some music that means SOMETHING to me each week. There might just be a specific musician, special song, or theme of songs that I'd like to touch on, so I'm sure you'll see repeat musicians on here.
I know it's already Tuesday, but, since this is a new venture in my life, you'll just have to forgive me :)
So I decided, just now, that I'd like to feature some music that means SOMETHING to me each week. There might just be a specific musician, special song, or theme of songs that I'd like to touch on, so I'm sure you'll see repeat musicians on here.
*The music I endorse in this list are NOT paid advertisements. I recieve no monetary compensation for promoting them. I simply feel strongly enough about these songs that I want to help share them with anyone I can.*
Music for the week of January 4-8
THEME- Daughter
Steven Curtis Chapman
Specific Songs- Cinderella, Heaven Is The Face
Heartland
Specific Song- I Loved Her First
Tim McGraw
Specific Song- My Little Girl
I realize these songs are all daddy-daughter songs, but they mean a lot to me, for a few reasons.
Firstly, I have a daughter. And I can relate to the songs, even though they ARE from the father's point of view.
'Cinderella' talks about spending each moment with your daughter while you can, because "all too soon the clock will strike midnight, and she'll be gone." And that is sooo true. Our children grow up SO fast. Sissy just turned 8. I can still remember her as an infant, and it just doesn't feel like it was 8 years ago! I wish now that I had cherished her a little more when she was a baby. I've certainly learned my lesson and attempt to make sure she knows how important she is, and I will dance with Cinderella, because I don't want to miss even one song.
"Heaven Is The Face" of my little girl. While the deep meaning of this song speaks about the daughter Steven Curtis Chapman lost a few years ago in a tragic accident, this song speaks to me because it reminds me that Heaven IS the face of MY little girl. And for you, Heaven is the face of YOUR little girl. Meaning there is just nothing can be closer to the love, joy, beauty, and miracle of Heaven than the face of an innocent little girl.
"I Loved Her First" talks about a daddy giving his daughter away at her wedding. I know one day my husband and I will be attending our daughter's wedding, and as I watch him walk her down the aisle to be joined with her husband, I know that I will have done my best to raise her, teach her, lead her, and love her, and I will be allowing her to leave the safety of my wing to live her own life and start her own family. It will be a bittersweet moment.
and lastly, "My Little Girl" also speaks about a daughter growing up and finding her own wings- but to 'never forget the road that leads you home'. That's the relationship I HOPE to have with my daughter when she is older and out of the nest. Live your own life, make your own mistakes- but never forget where you came from, and always know I'm here to offer advice or lend a helping hand.
The second way these songs affect me is because I look at my husband and feel proud of him. I can only imagine how hard it is to be a father. There's so many dangers in this world, and he knows it's his job to protect her and help teach her the things that I can not. The love between my husband and our daughter is unconditional, unbreakable, and there's just nothing more sweet to me than to see them play together, dance together, and love each other.
Lastly, these songs affect me because I do not have a relationship with my father. I'm not sure, at this point in my life, who's fault it is that I grew away from him. True, he was quite cruel. But maybe I was too sensitive? If that's the case, then why couldn't he ease up on me? Why couldn't he recognize my weaknesses and pain and cater to them? Maybe I should have tried to be more understanding? How is a 12 year old supposed to be understanding? What could I have done different to FEEL like he loved me? My mom says that he loved me. I just wish I could have felt it.
Unfortunately, his love IS conditional. I found that out as I grew up and started my own family.
So, now, as I listen to these songs, I think about the relationship between my father and I when I was a child, and my heart breaks. And the lack of relationship now, hurts as well. I just wish I could have felt the connection with him that the daddy in these songs has with their daughters.
But it will never happen, and for the most part I don't dwell on it.
I love my daughter, and her daddy loves her. UN-conditionally. For EVER.
She will ALWAYS be our baby.
ALWAYS.
Firstly, I have a daughter. And I can relate to the songs, even though they ARE from the father's point of view.
'Cinderella' talks about spending each moment with your daughter while you can, because "all too soon the clock will strike midnight, and she'll be gone." And that is sooo true. Our children grow up SO fast. Sissy just turned 8. I can still remember her as an infant, and it just doesn't feel like it was 8 years ago! I wish now that I had cherished her a little more when she was a baby. I've certainly learned my lesson and attempt to make sure she knows how important she is, and I will dance with Cinderella, because I don't want to miss even one song.
"Heaven Is The Face" of my little girl. While the deep meaning of this song speaks about the daughter Steven Curtis Chapman lost a few years ago in a tragic accident, this song speaks to me because it reminds me that Heaven IS the face of MY little girl. And for you, Heaven is the face of YOUR little girl. Meaning there is just nothing can be closer to the love, joy, beauty, and miracle of Heaven than the face of an innocent little girl.
"I Loved Her First" talks about a daddy giving his daughter away at her wedding. I know one day my husband and I will be attending our daughter's wedding, and as I watch him walk her down the aisle to be joined with her husband, I know that I will have done my best to raise her, teach her, lead her, and love her, and I will be allowing her to leave the safety of my wing to live her own life and start her own family. It will be a bittersweet moment.
and lastly, "My Little Girl" also speaks about a daughter growing up and finding her own wings- but to 'never forget the road that leads you home'. That's the relationship I HOPE to have with my daughter when she is older and out of the nest. Live your own life, make your own mistakes- but never forget where you came from, and always know I'm here to offer advice or lend a helping hand.
The second way these songs affect me is because I look at my husband and feel proud of him. I can only imagine how hard it is to be a father. There's so many dangers in this world, and he knows it's his job to protect her and help teach her the things that I can not. The love between my husband and our daughter is unconditional, unbreakable, and there's just nothing more sweet to me than to see them play together, dance together, and love each other.
Lastly, these songs affect me because I do not have a relationship with my father. I'm not sure, at this point in my life, who's fault it is that I grew away from him. True, he was quite cruel. But maybe I was too sensitive? If that's the case, then why couldn't he ease up on me? Why couldn't he recognize my weaknesses and pain and cater to them? Maybe I should have tried to be more understanding? How is a 12 year old supposed to be understanding? What could I have done different to FEEL like he loved me? My mom says that he loved me. I just wish I could have felt it.
Unfortunately, his love IS conditional. I found that out as I grew up and started my own family.
So, now, as I listen to these songs, I think about the relationship between my father and I when I was a child, and my heart breaks. And the lack of relationship now, hurts as well. I just wish I could have felt the connection with him that the daddy in these songs has with their daughters.
But it will never happen, and for the most part I don't dwell on it.
I love my daughter, and her daddy loves her. UN-conditionally. For EVER.
She will ALWAYS be our baby.
ALWAYS.
7 under 1 roof
My name on a message board is '6under1roof' because there are 6 of us living in this house. My husband, 4 kids, and I. Most of the people on the board call me '6' for short. They are starting to call me 6.5 and 7 now because I am pregnant. Which is why the name of this blog is now 7under1roof.
I found out I was pregnant at the end of August. It was a HUGE shock to me- so much so that I took 6 pregnancy tests, thinking maybe because they were cheap ones I bought off Amazon they might be faulty.
But no, they were right!
I told my husband, my message board friends, and my mom and sister immediately. But have been hesitant to tell my grandmother and my mother in law.
Why?
Because I know they would disapprove.
Now, I have to wonder why they care in the first place, how many children we have. My MIL (mother in law) lives in Indiana. My grandmother lives here in town, but, in the 3 years we've lived here, we've been lucky to see her 4 times per year. She just never bothers to come over. And we've attempted to go visit her a few times, but that's a WHOLE other story.
We never ask her for anything, and as it happens, we're on NO state assistance whatsoever. We are fully self sufficient. I don't even get WIC.
I don't complain about money, don't even talk about it. It's nobody's business but ours.
So then why is she SO upset that we're having another baby?
I waited until about 3 weeks before Christmas to tell grandma about the pregnancy. She was here on November 20th for my daughter's birthday party, and I called her probably around the 1st of December. I left her a message because she did not answer her phone. I haven't heard from her since.
Yesterday, she showed up (unannounced, of course) to ask me a few questions.
Question 1) I thought you were going to take care of that after Tommy was born?
Question 2) Are you going to take care of it with this baby?
She actually asked me if I was going to get "fixed" to which I replied, "Get what fixed? I'm not broken."
After I explained to her that the hospital will not perform a tubal after delivery, I was not going to get 'fixed'. There's some confusion as to whether or not they do it after a C-Section, but I've never had a C-Section, and I don't plan to start just so I can get 'fixed'. I've had 4 babies au natural, and will have this 5th one the same way.
We talked about getting my husband a Vasectomy, and that is an option we've both considered, and even had a consultation about. Her concern was that it might not work, or they might cut some nerves causing him to 'not function' anymore.
I simply said 'if it works, it works. If it doesn't, it doesn't.'. To which she replied, 'Yeah, there's other ways to take care of it.' And I said, 'Or we just have another baby.' Which she didn't like.
She left after that (after snapping at my daughter for something that, AGAIN, was none of her business), and I probably won't even bother telling her when the baby is born. I just don't see why I should waste mine and her time.
After I told my husband what had happened, his response was the same as my thoughts- we should have 2 more just to spite her! LOL
Ah well. Life goes on. I'm not stressing about her or her opinion. I love my babies- ALL of them.
So, later today- baking cornbread to go with dinner, and possibly watching an Adam movie :)
I found out I was pregnant at the end of August. It was a HUGE shock to me- so much so that I took 6 pregnancy tests, thinking maybe because they were cheap ones I bought off Amazon they might be faulty.
But no, they were right!
I told my husband, my message board friends, and my mom and sister immediately. But have been hesitant to tell my grandmother and my mother in law.
Why?
Because I know they would disapprove.
Now, I have to wonder why they care in the first place, how many children we have. My MIL (mother in law) lives in Indiana. My grandmother lives here in town, but, in the 3 years we've lived here, we've been lucky to see her 4 times per year. She just never bothers to come over. And we've attempted to go visit her a few times, but that's a WHOLE other story.
We never ask her for anything, and as it happens, we're on NO state assistance whatsoever. We are fully self sufficient. I don't even get WIC.
I don't complain about money, don't even talk about it. It's nobody's business but ours.
So then why is she SO upset that we're having another baby?
I waited until about 3 weeks before Christmas to tell grandma about the pregnancy. She was here on November 20th for my daughter's birthday party, and I called her probably around the 1st of December. I left her a message because she did not answer her phone. I haven't heard from her since.
Yesterday, she showed up (unannounced, of course) to ask me a few questions.
Question 1) I thought you were going to take care of that after Tommy was born?
Question 2) Are you going to take care of it with this baby?
She actually asked me if I was going to get "fixed" to which I replied, "Get what fixed? I'm not broken."
After I explained to her that the hospital will not perform a tubal after delivery, I was not going to get 'fixed'. There's some confusion as to whether or not they do it after a C-Section, but I've never had a C-Section, and I don't plan to start just so I can get 'fixed'. I've had 4 babies au natural, and will have this 5th one the same way.
We talked about getting my husband a Vasectomy, and that is an option we've both considered, and even had a consultation about. Her concern was that it might not work, or they might cut some nerves causing him to 'not function' anymore.
I simply said 'if it works, it works. If it doesn't, it doesn't.'. To which she replied, 'Yeah, there's other ways to take care of it.' And I said, 'Or we just have another baby.' Which she didn't like.
She left after that (after snapping at my daughter for something that, AGAIN, was none of her business), and I probably won't even bother telling her when the baby is born. I just don't see why I should waste mine and her time.
After I told my husband what had happened, his response was the same as my thoughts- we should have 2 more just to spite her! LOL
Ah well. Life goes on. I'm not stressing about her or her opinion. I love my babies- ALL of them.
So, later today- baking cornbread to go with dinner, and possibly watching an Adam movie :)
Monday, January 3, 2011
Menu for the week of Jan 2 - 8
Breakfasts-
Cereal, Pancakes/Waffles, Egg Sandwiches, Omeletes, Oatmeal, Grits
Lunches-
PB&J, Ramen, Hot Dogs, Corn Dogs, Pot Pies, Quesadillas, Leftovers
Dinners-
Sunday, January 2
Slow Cooker Lasagna
Monday, January 3
Chicken Noodle Soup and Bread Bowls
Tuesday, January 4
Goulash
Wednesday, January 5
Venison Stir Fry, possibly egg rolls
Thursday, January 6
Chili and Cornbread
Tacos and Burritos!
Friday, January 7
Tuna Casserole and Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
Costco Pizza!
Saturday, January 8
Fondue Night! Cheese Fondue, Sausage Balls Fondue with mushroom dipping sauce, Chocolate fondue for dessert!
Leftovers!
Cereal, Pancakes/Waffles, Egg Sandwiches, Omeletes, Oatmeal, Grits
Lunches-
PB&J, Ramen, Hot Dogs, Corn Dogs, Pot Pies, Quesadillas, Leftovers
Dinners-
Sunday, January 2
Slow Cooker Lasagna
Monday, January 3
Chicken Noodle Soup and Bread Bowls
Tuesday, January 4
Goulash
Wednesday, January 5
Venison Stir Fry, possibly egg rolls
Thursday, January 6
Tacos and Burritos!
Friday, January 7
Costco Pizza!
Saturday, January 8
Leftovers!
Adam Sandler movie recommendation for the week-
Click
Welcome to 2011!
I usually don't bother with New Year's Resolutions. Usually by my birthday I've forgotten them, and for the most part, I don't actually try very hard to keep them. My life is busy enough as it is without having the extra stress of higher expectations on myself. Throughout the year I am constantly trying to improve myself anyway, so giving myself possibly unachievable goals at the beginning of the year, to me, is a setup for failure. I KNOW me. And I KNOW my husband. I understand what we can and can not expect of each other.
I KNOW I will never have Kate Beckinsale's body, but I can continue to try and improve my menu choices daily. That being said, I KNOW my husband will love me no matter how much I weigh, so my desire to be skinnier is more for my self esteem than anything.
I KNOW I will never be rich, but I can continue to try and improve my purchasing choices. I can try harder to limit our electricity usage, eat out even less than we do now by packing lunches when we have in town trips, make menu's regularly, and do other things to cut back on spending so I can attempt to put money into the 'dream board' savings account.
I KNOW I will make mistakes with our money. I won't lie to myself and say I won't overdraw the account at ALL this year. I'm not trying to sound pessimistic, but the honest, optimistic truth is simply that I will try to do BETTER at keeping track of the money. I WILL pay bills first and buy groceries second. If that means I need to rearrange my grocery shopping til the end of the month, then that's what I'm going to do. We just went on a HUGE stock up trip, so I'm already started in the right direction. Now to just keep our heads above water. And if that means eating a few boxes of cardboard mac & cheese for dinner then so be it. We've done it before- it won't kill us.
I KNOW I will never finish every project I start, but I can try harder to start less of them at one time. I CAN tell myself "STOP, you have too much on your plate already".
I KNOW I will not be able to keep the house as clean as I'd like to, but I can try harder to do a little at a time instead of none at all until I'm completely overwhelmed.
I KNOW I will not be able to wake up at 8AM every morning for homeschool, but I CAN make a schedule that fits when we DO wake up and start our day.
I KNOW I won't take my medication daily. It's just not in me to do so. I don't have the discipline, desire, or currently, the mental capability of taking daily pills. BUT I know I can ask for help from my husband to remind me. I can buy an alarm clock like I keep telling myself I need to do, and set it for the same time every day. I just need to DO it.
So there are a lot of goals I'd LOVE to accomplish and change this year, but I won't put too much weight on my shoulders. I have a new baby coming this spring, and I don't want my recover and adjustment time to completely throw us into a whirlwind.
I do know that I will try very hard to stop cursing. That's a big one for me. My kids occasionally copycat and I tell them not to say those words, but I am not leading by a very good example, and that's something I need to change desperately.
I also know that I want to do more fun things with my kids. I'd also like to get out more. I've started doing a few community activities, but not much, and I'd like to put myself out there more. I have no friends, which is also not a good example for my children.
SO, all that being said, I hope to have an awesome year, and learn from the mistakes from last year. I hope to spend each day enjoying my babies, bake something every day, and, of course, watch Adam Sandler.
I KNOW I will never have Kate Beckinsale's body, but I can continue to try and improve my menu choices daily. That being said, I KNOW my husband will love me no matter how much I weigh, so my desire to be skinnier is more for my self esteem than anything.
I KNOW I will never be rich, but I can continue to try and improve my purchasing choices. I can try harder to limit our electricity usage, eat out even less than we do now by packing lunches when we have in town trips, make menu's regularly, and do other things to cut back on spending so I can attempt to put money into the 'dream board' savings account.
I KNOW I will make mistakes with our money. I won't lie to myself and say I won't overdraw the account at ALL this year. I'm not trying to sound pessimistic, but the honest, optimistic truth is simply that I will try to do BETTER at keeping track of the money. I WILL pay bills first and buy groceries second. If that means I need to rearrange my grocery shopping til the end of the month, then that's what I'm going to do. We just went on a HUGE stock up trip, so I'm already started in the right direction. Now to just keep our heads above water. And if that means eating a few boxes of cardboard mac & cheese for dinner then so be it. We've done it before- it won't kill us.
I KNOW I will never finish every project I start, but I can try harder to start less of them at one time. I CAN tell myself "STOP, you have too much on your plate already".
I KNOW I will not be able to keep the house as clean as I'd like to, but I can try harder to do a little at a time instead of none at all until I'm completely overwhelmed.
I KNOW I will not be able to wake up at 8AM every morning for homeschool, but I CAN make a schedule that fits when we DO wake up and start our day.
I KNOW I won't take my medication daily. It's just not in me to do so. I don't have the discipline, desire, or currently, the mental capability of taking daily pills. BUT I know I can ask for help from my husband to remind me. I can buy an alarm clock like I keep telling myself I need to do, and set it for the same time every day. I just need to DO it.
So there are a lot of goals I'd LOVE to accomplish and change this year, but I won't put too much weight on my shoulders. I have a new baby coming this spring, and I don't want my recover and adjustment time to completely throw us into a whirlwind.
I do know that I will try very hard to stop cursing. That's a big one for me. My kids occasionally copycat and I tell them not to say those words, but I am not leading by a very good example, and that's something I need to change desperately.
I also know that I want to do more fun things with my kids. I'd also like to get out more. I've started doing a few community activities, but not much, and I'd like to put myself out there more. I have no friends, which is also not a good example for my children.
SO, all that being said, I hope to have an awesome year, and learn from the mistakes from last year. I hope to spend each day enjoying my babies, bake something every day, and, of course, watch Adam Sandler.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)